Ok so just need a little perspective and non bias one at that!
Basically I came into my hubby in our kitchen, got down in my knees, just to tease, not to go into a full on blow job, but before I even got close he backed off and pulled me up saying the neighbours could see in the kitchen!
There were no neighbours at their windows, and even if they were the most they would have seen was the top half of hubby!
I was honest and told him I felt rejected and that this was the reason I didn't things like this more cos when I do I feel rejected, yup I know if this isn't the first time I should know better but I don't want it not to be part of our relationship, when he takes the notion I get full on felt up in front of windows in our house when I am doing dishes, ironing etc
I feel a bit upset/pissed off and he saying he felt uncomfortable with Windows in daylight, I reminded him of his actions and he brushed it off. I do t want to feel annoyed but can't help feeling hurt!
Any and all input/advice welcome, and am grown up enough to have honest feedback! Thank you in advance!
Lilmiss
To be honest I would feel rejected too & I don't buy the neighbors excuse, it's not like you were in the garden.
How is your sex life otherwise?
I was going to ask - is he normally the dominant one in your sex play?
And yes - I would feel rejected too xxx
Sounds like he's being a hypocritical douche bag. I also think its a really good thing you told him how his actions made you feel. Keeping an open and honest line of communication open will help you both feel more secure and understand each others feelings. It's great you've started the conversation, hopefully you can gently encourage your husband to not brush off your feelings and to instead listen and respect what you say.
Good luck
I would feel how you are feeling too - I think the best thing to do though is have a chat about it. Tell him to be honest in why he reacted like that and how it is now going to effect you in the future in that you won't feel comfortable coming onto him again in fear of rejection. It could be totally innocent and an overreaction on his part, he could have been in a bad mood or something. You aren't being sensitive though! I would think he would understand how you feel and he maybe even apologise?
NaughtyNerd, thank you! We have amazing sex, however it's him that mostly decides when.
Lovingnewtoys, we are interchangeable in terms of being dominant, but yes probably more so him. Again thank you, sometimes I am unsure whether I am over reacting!
Jezebella, thank you, I thought he sounded like a hypocritical douche bag too lol while I am on here trying g to reassure myself, he has probably already moved on and given it no thought at all!
OhMyGlobAnna, I did say directly to him, I feel rejected and this is why I don't do it more often, he was just very, I felt uncomfortable it's not you so stop being so sensitive! Oh! Ah no bother since you out it that way ok then! Grrrr..........
Sincerely thank you, think I just needed reassurance that I wasn't overreacting! Now just to figure this out without him doing his normal and trying to charm/sex his way out of it!
Next time he tries to come onto you in the kitchen or wherever, say something like "Oh aren't you afraid of the neighbours seeing?" 😏😏
I think I am going to have to do that OhMyGlobAnna! Maybe a taste of his own medicine much needed?! X
Don't let him brush it under the carpet.How would he feel in your position?
I would have been really upset and would expect a serious apology.You are entitled to more respect than he has shown.Nip this in the bud and make sure he appreciates your advances more in the future.Most other partners would soon relocate to a more private spot to let the fun continue.I would definitely make sure you are given the respect and caring you so deserve in future.Wish you the best with this upsetting situation
Funlover69 (love your name), thank you, he has just said I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry. I said I know but you did and I don't understand and he had yet to answer! I don't want a fight or argument but exactly what you are saying, I want his respect and care and right now I feel neither of those, I feel embarrassed and like a fool xx
Lilmisshottie you have nothing to be embarrassed about.I'm sure that would not have been his intention.But he has been extremely insensitive and very unappreciative of your loving advances.Only he can reassure you that he realises how lucky he is to have a partner so willing to please him sexually and he should try some of that himself.Starting with a really sensual massage or something along those lines by way of an apology.
I like your thinking, may have to ask for that! Lol x
The being seen bit could have been an excuse for other reasons.
There could have been other underlying reasons such as not being in the mood. Even some of us guys arn't like machines were we suddenly go into full sex mode with the push of a button. He could feel he wasn't "clean " enough. Thats one of the reasons my Mrs usually gives me !
As the others have said if your not happy about his reaction then hve a talk .
Two sides to everything. I don't think his intentions were to make you feel rejected. I'll just imagine he wasn't comfortable with being exposed in the situation with the possibility of neighbours seeing, regardless if it was possible or not.
Likewise if the shoe was on the other foot and you'd turned down his advances I'm not sure they're would be such a commotion for you. If someone isn't comfortable enough to to be in a certain situation then there shouldn't be any questioning of it.
However, as is very important is the fact you talk to him again and mention how you feel also could be a number of reasons as to why he didn't want to continue.
No reason why you couldn't try again in a more private room and not be rebuffed in that situation should everything be in the clear. :)
Yeah, could have been something totally different. Crap day at work, worrying about money or whatever and so was just not in the mood for fun.
Not over sensitive at all and yes you should be pissed off.
Most guys would love it if their woman did that. I'm not sure its a sub / Dom issue as on your knees in front of your man is very subservient . there's more to this like initiation.
For me its an upbringing issue , how was his pedants within their relationship.
Be careful about the rejection advice . I don't recommend it, this is a common mistake that many women make. Yes what he has done is wrong and you feel bad I'm sorry but you need to understand what's going on here with drawing or treating him to some of his own medicine could lead down the slippery slop of less communication.
One thing that some guys do without their women knowing it is overly revere them , put them on a pedistol . So having you crawl up to him on your knees he may feel is beneath you.
Another is the mother matriarchal issue of some guys wanting to be mothered then overcor that to have sex occasionally.
I cannot say what his issue is but Masculinity is a strange thing and can be misinterpreted easily.