I am worried by this idea of sucking off a dildo. We've all seen porn films of women taking large cocks all the way into their mouths, well they are not sword swallowing a real penis bends and squashes a dildo will not and an expanding dildo sounds positively dangerous, like it could really suffocate you.
But Imeldaimelda's idea of concentrating on the tip does sound an excellent one.
It is also very important that you are totally in control, your partner should not thrust or push your head at any stage. It is best to explain that him not moving is the rule and you will not want to repeat the experience ever again unless he lets you be totally in charge.
i dont really like giving head, the way i do it is by getting right in the mood, then 69(me on top)then i make my hubby sit on the edge of the bed, chair, whatever-then he stays still n i feel in utter control
My partner must be the only guy I have ever heard of that isn't too keen on getting his dick sucked. I persist as I can't understand why he isn't that bothered. I have asked him what he likes, so it isn't that he doesn't like what I am doing. It's as though he feels too guilty just to lie back and enjoy it. Has anyone else heard of this? Anyway, whilst writing this I have just thought of an idea. I'll just tie him up and suck him off, he won't be able to do anything about it apart from relax!
My boyfriend is exactly the same! He's apparently "not fussed" on it, which is an issue for me because I love giving head!
Also, when I do get to suck him, I'm really self-conscious because I have the worry that he's not enjoying it nagging at me. And once or twice he's actually stopped me so can he finish himself off - harsh!! I know I'm not awful at oral (previous partners have loved it) but this notion that he's not enjoying it is really throwing me off my game - my confidence is gone when it comes to sucking him.
The only idea I have jm, which may or may not apply to you, is something I discovered just last night... it takes him aaaaaaages to cum from oral. Ages and ages. It may be that he feels guilty that it takes him so long to get there, or that he feels that I might be insulted that it takes him so long to get there - and to be honest, it is a little ego-shattering.
And now we're kind of stuck in this vicious circle of me not being as enthusiastic (or as good) as I ususally am, which means I can't make him cum, which knocks my condfidence... blah blah blah! It's a real puzzler.
Thanks for the hug shellyboo. That is a great theory about he may be scared he takes too long come. You are right about it sapping at your confidence at giving head. I always ask what he would prefer in terms of position etc. I have only ever made him come once through oral sex alone and that was a long time ago.
For years I wasn't fussed about giving oral sex but now I finally get my head round it (or my mouth even) and he won't let me finish him off orally. Have read loads of tips to help me improve as well. Aaaargh! Great last line, hope there are a few guys out there who read this.
The OH is on the large side and never cums quickly. Great for sex, not so good for quick BJs. When we first got together he told me that he'd never come from a BJ. There's a challenge eh?
At first I reacted like you JM, pinned him down until eventually he came. Point proven, we had a chat about it and he admitted that he really had to concentrate to cum! After much discussion it transpires that as a big boy he needs an awful lot of stimulation to cum and felt guilty about me being down there for so long. He absolutely loves going down on me, to the point where he begs to do it so it didn't take too long to convince him that I feel just the same about his cock!!!
Once he realised how much I love giving head things got soo much better. He never used to touch me while I was doing it for fear of freaking me out but now he loves to grab my hair and tell me just what he wants. I can't fit him all in my mouth so concentrating on the head and frenulum and alternating with wanking sends him nuts. He's a watcher so he loves nothing more than looking down at me (or up if we're in 69) and telling me just how much he loves me sucking/licking him. It's still rare that he will cum in my mouth (but he now loves doing that), he usually gets so horny that he HAS to shag me!
Girls (and boys), there's always more than one way to skin a cat. For me it was figuring out why he was reluctant and reasuring him with my actions. I also tell him how much I love having his cock in my mouth, how I love the taste of him etc. Think about what would make you more confident in someone and reverse it.
Thanks for that littlebird! Thankfully my problem is no more... but not through solving it, lol - the boyfriend is gone!
But it does mean I got to go back to my lovely, enthusiastic and appreciative fuckbuddy who adores me going down on him and came in minutes when I got my hands (or lips to be precise) on him the other day!
So my confidence is restored! A harsh solution to a simple problem, but hey - job done, lol :)
I'm in the same boat as these ladies in that I love to give head! Thankfully my bf is pretty appreciative of it - I've told him several times, flat out, that it's quite boring to do if I don't know that he is enjoying it - his usual response is "Of course I like it!" - well fair enough but I like to actually hear that he likes it too! XD I think that he enjoys it more now that he knows I love to do it. He's said he doesn't feel like it's "fair"! To be honest, sometimes I'd love him just to take my mouth, cum, and then I would really get off the next day just thinking about it!!
He hasn't gone down on me for awhile - but I must say that it's not because he dislikes it, when he does it it's wonderful!
But a little something for buttyboy69 - I think I've only cum once from oral. I'm a girl that is far too used to manual clitoral stimulation, or a vibrator. So sometimes it's not just you - it's just that I can't quite seem to let go - I have to have control of my clitoral stimulation. It kinda sucks, I wish I could retrain myself (perhaps one day!) I won't add anything to Cheri's incredibly helpful post because I think that covers it all, but just wanted to add that if she still has trouble cumming despite asking what she likes etc - it may just be that that's how she is! =)
We both love oral, giving and receiving although, I can't seem to make him come with my mouth alone. He has to take over and masturbate to completion whereupon I take him back in my mouth and swallow (of course). He's not bothered by it and says it's just one of those things but I feel a bit of a failure. Any tips?
I had a similar thing exept I couldnt make my man come from hand jobs - just from oral. Best tip if I want to make a guy cum fast (has worked well on a couple, to avoid the dreaded jawlock) would be to tease him as much as possible - avoid touching his cock for ages, with kisses/nibbles whatever other places, until he canna stand it... but then instead of just going for it take your time again, tease him for ages before building up speed. Then that part shouldnt take to long! The more enthusiastic you are in general the more a guy should enjoy themselfs - and don't put too much pressure on yourself - you will get there in the end!
Lots of trial and error never hurts - get him to tell you what he like best.
OH and the diet coke trick... or anything else fizzy (coke is good cause its extreamly carbonated) - hold a mouthfull of that before you go down on him - the bubbles will work wonders ;)
Thanks for that. He says he has no complaints and when I've asked him what he likes he says he has nothing to add to what I'm doing already, so as you say, I'll just have to keep trying!
PS : I don't like diet coke will Diet Irn Bru work just as well ;)
You could try doing something unexpected too - like sliding a lubed finger or vibrator into his ass when you feel he's almost there. That can often send a guy over the edge, especially if it's a new experience. Get him to agree to a secret surprise first though, then he can't complain later!
Truly... diet irn bru is a crime against the nation! Full sugar all the way... otherwise its just not worth it (I put the fact Im not loosing any wieght atm down to my moring bru) Still anything highly carbonated should do the trick - just make sure you dont dribble all over the sheets!