Im the same, i like to call everybody hun or love. My pet names which she lovingly gave me are ; Lauralynn, laurakins, babe, sweetie (if we are in an extra mushy mood!) or bitchface (if she's in a not so mushy mood.. She's normally joking though!)
LK xxxx
My other half calls me....erm ...wench!!!..lol........has done for years......
I for some unknown reason...called him moosy.....................no idea where it came from......dont really use it anymore so thought id share it with a bunch of strangers...lol
I use pet names most of the time...it helps when I can't remember someones name
Love, hun, he says darling occasionally, googleybear (monsters inc!)
x
I call lots of people by pet names - "lovely" and "sweetness" being favourites.
I tend to have the opinion that if anyone has a problem with it, they'll tell me, and I'll accomodate for them. I don't expect anyone to be angry with me, seeings how it's clear my intentions are good and I don't agree with completely censoring everything just because *some* people don't like it, but if they don't like it, I will happily avoid using pet names with them (and they would be within their rights to get angry with me if I ignored them!).
To me it's a term of endearment and it means I like a person.
I can accept some people don't like it though, I hate anyone other than WandA calling me "baby" as to me, that's very personal to me and him and I appreciate people avoiding calling me that, so I can see why some people may dislike other endearing terms and fair enough, as long as they tell me then I'll avoid it!
Ax
AdnaW wrote:
I call lots of people by pet names - "lovely" and "sweetness" being favourites.
I tend to have the opinion that if anyone has a problem with it, they'll tell me, and I'll accomodate for them. I don't expect anyone to be angry with me, seeings how it's clear my intentions are good and I don't agree with completely censoring everything just because *some* people don't like it, but if they don't like it, I will happily avoid using pet names with them (and they would be within their rights to get angry with me if I ignored them!).
To me it's a term of endearment and it means I like a person.
I can accept some people don't like it though, I hate anyone other than WandA calling me "baby" as to me, that's very personal to me and him and I appreciate people avoiding calling me that, so I can see why some people may dislike other endearing terms and fair enough, as long as they tell me then I'll avoid it!
Ax
I think that's why I got upset, I don't intend it to be insulting, I mean it as a term of endearment. I don't like people being mad at me and being accused of sinister things! The complaint was phrased in a way that suggested I'd been upsetting people left, right and centre and I was told it was something I should look into. I would never intentionally hurt someones feelings and I just paniced that I had been and everyone had felt too annoyed or offended to say so!
I was also told that looking at photos of actresses etc, watching porn and having any kind of physical response when I see a beautiful woman is disgusting, disrespectful and not feminine. In case any one has genuinely been offended I do feel the need to explain myself a bit!
I realise I talk about sex and women a lot but I don't nor have I ever held the view that women are in any way lesser beings! I think it's the nature of the forum that I focus a lot more on sex and sexuality and for me it's nice to be able do discus such things with likeminded (and indeed differently minded) people! It's far more in-keeping with the theme of the forum to talk about tribbing and breasts than to ramble on about my love of molecular biology or vegetarian food so I keep the other aspects of my personailty and interests out of the discussions for the most part!
I love porn, but only the kind where everyone involved is clearly consenting and having a brilliant time. I have never had any shame about loving it, I like sex, I like watching people enjoying themselves and each other, I think the right porn can be amazing. I'm not trying to make any important statement about feminist rights and sexuality by watching porn, I just enjoy it and apparently this is wrong. The friend was saying the only women who like porn are trying to make a statement about male oppresison. I can't and don't believe this is true, I can't be the only woman in the world who finds porn hot for no other reason than the voyeuristic joy of watching people experiencing pleasure!
Sorry this a bit rambly but being accused of sexism against women is rather upsetting and a bit out of the blue. I just wanted to see if this is just one persons interpretation of my personality or if I do infact come across as a bit of a mysogenist! Basically this thread is me giving anyone I've pissed off or offended the chance to point it out so I can appologise and make ammends if necessary. Be gentle with me...
xxKPxx
Hey KP what you're saying makes sense completely and having such a criticism levelled at you from apparently out of nowhere must have rocked you a bit.
I can safely say from my point of view you seem like an intelligent and funny lady. Not mysogenist or otherwise derogatory to men or women from what I have seen on these boards.
Being interested in sex or highly sexed or enjoying porn to me do not spell out anything about your views of the participants particularly - to me it suggests you have an above average interest in sexual stuff and given the context of this forum it's not a complete picture of your personality but it's certainly not offensive, and quite in keeping with what usually appears in threads on here. Assuming you divulge the other facets of your personality in real life it seems likely that your interest in sex would not eclipse everything else about you.
Sadly some folks can't believe that sometimes things are as simple as they seem. Seeing naked people enjoying sex on film can be just that, can't it? Why does everything have to be tinged with such overdramatic meaning or hidden agendas. :(
Without me knowing anything about the people involved and thus widdling in the wind somewhat I will go on a limb and say that I think it is much more likely to be something to do with this specific person and your dynamics with them rather than a broader problem with your personality!
Of course you should probably ignore me as I am a rambling buffoon and am grimly determined to cheer you up for some reason. :)
Try not to let it get you down too much.
Just to echo the point made I don't see a problem with such language. The intentions are crucial behind a world, hence why online expression can be so difficult. I know I've never been offended to be called 'luv' or 'mate' from a shop assistant because I know in the context the meaning is clear, its just friendly.
I think it's their problem not yours. There are some important gender issues that need addressing, stopping people using harmless names isn't really one of them.
Don't worry KP.
Some people really do have nothing better to do than try to find issues with anything anyone says or does, do they. If someone was horribly offended at being called "girly", and told you that, and you kept doing it anyway, then fair enough, but just calling people little cutesy names shouldn't diminish their validity as a human being and equal (unless their self esteem is so tied to their name that being called anything but their full title will suddenly make them lose the right to vote and don a horrible 50s hairdtyle and pinny).
Pff, over-sensitive hyper-PC-ness does my head in.
I call people all sorts, and no one's ever had a problem. Although I did come up through the theatre sweety-luvvy-DAHHHling crowd, so calling folk 'babe', 'hon', 'pet', 'sweetheart', etc. has never seemed abnormal (and because I say it naturally, no one seems to twig it). Except for one time when it was a guy with really bad English and he got so confused as to why I kept calling him 'pet', because he didn't know of the word except as the action (like to pet a puppy). He loved it after I explained, and apparently ran around telling everyone he was my pet, until he found out I called everyone that and he was so disappointed it wasn't special for him, poor thing.
Thank you so much Tronic my lovely, it's safe to say your mission has been (at least partly) accomplished and I have cheered up a bit! It's really nice of you to take the time to write your thoughts in response to what is effectively just me having a bit of a wobbly! You're not at all a rambling baffoon and what you said not only is a relief but has helped me think about it a bit more objectively at least. I think what was said to me was possibly more of a personal thing and although entirely understandable for her perhaps it doesn't apply in a wider context. If noone has ever mentioned it before I'm either too terrifying to confront (at 5ft I doubt this!) or maybe (*fingers crossed*) I'm not so terrible after all.
xxKPxx
KP, sweetness (:P), you are a lovely, kind, beautiful, witty lady. You have never given me any reason to believe you think of me (or anyone else) as "just" a woman.
It is the other person's problem and not yours. Please don't change I love the way you speak - you make me feel pretty and sexy and smart when we speak. As BB said - if you continued talking to person in a way you knew they disliked you could understand annoyance but to me, it sounds like your "friend" is just jealous.
Ax
Aww thank you so much WandA, BB and AdnaW I really am feeling a lot more shiny and happy (and peopley?!) now!
I'm a bit of an equal rights crusader (I fight both corners though, I can't stand sexism against women or men) so I was mortified to think I was failing at that somehow. Combined with the fact that I struggle with my confidence and went to a school where there was a lot of bitchiness, the idea that I'd upset people and they'd been whispering things about me behind my back (rather than just telling me) hit a bit of a raw nerve. Maybe that was the intention of the accusation I don't know. My friend is only human, she has her own struggles and what she said was apparently harsh but in the context the things she's been through her views about men (she thinks of me as a man because I am a tomboy and a lesbian/bi) are understandble if perhaps unfair.
This is the first time she's mentioned not liking to be addressed by a pet name so I just wont do it from now on and if I mess up fair enough I'll take a slap on the wrist. More worrying to me was the fact she said "it's not just me, others have said to me "I don't know where [kitty] gets off calling me that" you might want to look into it." That made me think it was a wider problem Maybe it is, but I don't mean badly so I don't actually know how to change: I already do respect women (hell, I AM a woman!)...how can you change into something you already are!?
*Marmoset hugs for everyone*
xxKPxx
BashfulBabe wrote:
Some people really do have nothing better to do than try to find issues with anything anyone says or does, do they. If someone was horribly offended at being called "girly", and told you that, and you kept doing it anyway, then fair enough, but just calling people little cutesy names shouldn't diminish their validity as a human being and equal (unless their self esteem is so tied to their name that being called anything but their full title will suddenly make them lose the right to vote and don a horrible 50s hairdtyle and pinny).
Pff, over-sensitive hyper-PC-ness does my head in.
hear hear. Recently the term 'brainstorm' was banned in a certain ubiquitous public institution because it might be offensive to anyone who suffers from epilepsy or any other brain disorder of that kind.
No doubt seizures are probably horrid and my heart goes out to anyone afflicted so, but really? Banning that word? Hmm..
I often call people sweetie or hun, its not meant as offensive, just caring.
My OH calls me his little miss sunshine - because I brighten his day
I call him my Mr bump - because he's clumsy but sweet.
I will call J Wench or Snap Dragon, Snap Dragon is a joke that stems through all the women in her family lol. She's ok with it because of the way in which I say it, She knows I dont mean it offensively!
You all know by now I call people close to me chick, sweetie, hun, babe, etc
And like Alicia mentioned before, It's an endearment and means that person is liked and respected by me.
I do have a scale of who I call what, but that is my secret lol!!!
I only call J baby, sexy, sweetheart, darling or baby boo, though she hates baby boo lol!
Pauli ;) xx
I'm going through a phase of calling people 'tart' at the moment, in only to harness my inner Scouse!
Northern monkey! lmao
WandA wrote:
I'm going through a phase of calling people 'tart' at the moment, in only to harness my inner Scouse!External Media
by people you mean me and the dog...
Adx
Seduced wrote:
Northern monkey! lmao External Media
Wrong pool... Hartlepool mate:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hartlepool_monkey#Monkeys
Alicia D'amore wrote:
WandA wrote:
I'm going through a phase of calling people 'tart' at the moment, in only to harness my inner Scouse!External Media
by people you mean me and the dog...
Adx
Well, this is titled pet names...