Porn addiction / desensitise orgasms / connection with mind and body

This is husband part of our account and not an issue for Mrs Daisy1982. We both enjoy porn and in the main we use for solo play etc when apart.

Although I would not say I’m in an additive bracket, I’ve come to the point I’m distancing myself from it as find myself often either passing the time watching , using for solo play etc etc.

But for some reason I think it’s desensitised me slightly and the connection of mind , body and final orgasm which I would say doesn’t feel as good as it did… or maybe age :joy:.

So question is , does anyone else experience this , feel that way? That we can over sensitise our mind to the many many things we can find in porn now and either create false images/ expectations of the reality’s of sex or just interrupt the connection of body and mind, orgasm.

For example if my wife is giving a hand job / massage the orgasm is so much better , because I’m relaxed , laying down , and only thinking of the pleasure I’m getting and not visually of porn.

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I watch pornography mostly to get ideas. When I masturbate I don’t use any of the images I’ve seen in the pornography. I use images and memories from my own experience or imagination.

My wife doesn’t view pornography at all although she knows that I do.

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myself and OH watch porn together normally we watch movies with storylines

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I definitely think desensitization can occur, and it may be a reason why “vanilla” stuff might not do the trick for some folks. There may be a need to push boundaries and explore beyond the mainstream because a naked body by itself just may not do the trick anymore. That’s not to say it’s the case for everyone, but I think it’s also not out of the ordinary. You may want to take a break from porn or cut back on it if you find it impacting things. You could also be dealing with stress, and using porn as a way to escape that stress and yet that stress may also be negatively impacting your ability to experience pleasure from sexual activity with your partner.

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I do totally agree porn can desensitise the mind from reality hence why it’s good to only watch in moderation and maybe not at such a young age either.

But in other news I’ve found I’m becoming rather attracted more to vintage porn of late and kinda find it so much hotter than the modern stuff lol

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I think it’s a bit of a “drug” in that the more you watch the more you crave - different, harsher, angrier, more unique, eye-opening, or intense.

I think that it is fairly simple (for me anyways) to shut it off or not watch it without any relapsing. I tend to scroll the Reddit or Twitter machine lately and have stepped away from the longer clips or video. There is more “real” imagery there and far less “produced”. I could take it or leave it honestly but I do enjoy sex more with Mrs. Val when it is unforced and organic.

I think I cum quicker when I have been watching it. Thus I tend to masturbate in the shower ahead of a planned sex session so my stamina is way up.

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Thanks @AJSTAR and agreed some really good vintage porn and feels bit more real , naturally hot and an art around it :star_struck:

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Yeah fully agree @valbowski77 Ive not even looked since posting at anything remotely porn wise so it’s certainly not something addictive.

Our actual best sex is the more vanilla, missionary etc which I think shows sometimes back to basics and too much availability, extremes , false images /impressions of sex can poorly influence etc.

It has a place , but certainly think long term can be very damaging for the new generations.

Thanks @rockstar Ive done a dry period before from porn and gone back to basics, my own thoughts / touch / feel and has a huge effect.

Our best sex sometimes is vanilla :star_struck:

Definitely something we should try , never watched story lines and tend to be those videos which are straight into the action.

Yeah agreed, work is a lot busier at the moment…. But viewing tends to be during down time etc etc

Vanilla is often the best sex for us which I think sometimes shows that porn can paint very poor reflection. In long term I think it will have huge impact on new generations.

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I’ve been porn-sober for 31 months now and I’ll say the biggest thing for me that I really would point to as it being an addiction point is that my use had almost nothing to do with sex and was all about that dopamine hit. Every time I opened my phone I’d be scrolling NSFW Reddit, and I took my phone out everytime I went to the bathroom, everytime I needed a break from my kids, every time I was bored at work… I justified my use for years that because I wasn’t masturbating to it then it wasn’t impacting or detracting from my sex life with my wife, or because I wasn’t paying for it then it wasn’t stealing from other life priorities. But like every addiction, it absolutely was in the way of everything.

By the time COVID hit and we got stuck at home with no break from 2 kids under 5, I was in a spiral of irritability, irrational rage, and self-loathing. Were my mental health issues pushing me to my addiction, or was my addiction fueling my MH? Yes. So being at home 24/7 I was found out and decided I had to really change things. It wasn’t just about sex or marriage it was about my whole life being torn apart.

Anyway. I’ve been in counseling since then (just, for everything) and lots of things are improved, and our sex life is better than it’s ever been - and it was always good. I do think being sober has improved my perception of my wife and my ability to be more responsive, physically and emotionally.

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That’s what I think I like is it’s more artistically filmed and has had more kinda thought around in being sensual perhaps :sweat_smile:

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Thanks @LRLRL and really being honest / open​:star_struck:.

It’s been 7 days now and just not looked at porn and for me it’s about the last part.

Being connected , not being driven by porn ideas or the extremes or what some portray sex should be etc. But can relate to that short escape or just searching watching some in downtime…… but it’s because I’m really wanting sex at that time or fun , not a stress relief of escape.

We have always had a great sex life , little slow currently but that’s down to busy life’s at the moment and work.

Will see what changes by stepping away/reducing.

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