Premature Ejaculation (P.E) Help

Im in my early 40s and occasionally (but becomming more frequent) suffer from PE. Ive found in the past very regular (almost daily) PIV helps but we’re lucky if we do it once / twice a week (differing sex drives and young family) .

Generally, no issues getting hard, dont use porn regularly, I dont smoke, occasionaly drink, small bit overweight (starting to work.on that) and no underlying health conditions (probably could do with a bit more sleep but thats most people with a young family).

I regularly look after myself as it helps me get off to sleep fast and I can finish quiet quickly doing that which probably isnt helping.

Like a lot of people OH orgasms from clit stimilation than PIV so foreplay (mostly on her) is long so Im building up long before the actual act.

So what Ive tried.
Delay spary works but I feel nothing and then everything. Its actally a bit of a strange sensation (actually forgot I had put it on one night and couldnt figure out what was going on for a second​:shushing_face:) also worried about transfer to OH after reading about it on here.

Cock rings used a very tight one recently and it did keep me going longer but it wasnt the best sensation as I think it was too tight I have a set of 3 so must try other sizes.

Sorting myself out beforehand. Works some times other times not.

Its a little frustrating as my sex drive is alot higher that my OHs and when she wants it I want us both to have a good session where were both satisfied. Recovery has slowed from when I was in my 20s so by the time Ive recovered we are falling asleep, (reguardless OH is rarely up for round 2).

What else can I try? Not keep on the idea of medication.

I know communication will be suggested but my OH is not very comfortable talking about sex so that is unlikely to work.

Suggest you discuss with a doctor as can be a number of issues including low testosterone which is easily fixed

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I am in same boat,hardly have sex,4 times a year,and hardly last 1 minute wife will.not talk about it,just storms off,and i feel i am letting her down and and thats why she does not want sex,best thing i have tried is delay condoms.

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@Ajp thankfully my OH doest react like that as that would be hard to take. I make sure that she is satisfied outside of PIV so she isnt left feeling unsatisfied but I feel being able to last consistently would add to our sessions.

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Storming off isn’t going to help your confidence or self esteem and that can only make matters worse so I’d suggest having a honest conversation with her.
What would she do if the tables were turned which I know can be a genuine problem for many ladies when hormones start to rebel or just move out completely.

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My husband is on Priligy (an SSRI) for PE and this has worked amazingly well for us. It is the best sex we have had as it has slowed him down a lot and he lasts for ages now so I am completely satisfied during PIV.

The only side effect is a bit of a slow down on his drive so it just takes a bit longer to get him going but he’s fine once he does. He’s also found he doesn’t really get any urge to wank now so when he finally cums he gets a big orgasm.

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@jadeybaby35 Any other side affects?

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@LHindulgeLH a natural method woyld be my preference, not on medication and hoping to keep it that way for as ling as I can.

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I’ve suffered with PE in the past and practice helps but if time for sex with your partner is difficult then self play and learning the signals for the point of no return definitely helps. If you feel you are starting get close then switch to some other play until you’ve got yourself under control. Ive also found that my partner orgasms quicker from PIV if shes already had at least one orgasm before any PIV sex and that it kind of takes the pressure off if I know shes got off already. Other tips would be that grinding or rocking movements are less likely to get me off than thrusting sex while my partner enjoys both. Lastly don’t get stressed about cumming too quickly, there are plenty of ways to continue the session and ensure she’s fully pleasured and stressing about it or appologising just kills the mood. These days if i do cum quickly she finds it a huge complement and we’ll just do other stuff until im recoved or she’s satisfied. I love PIV but there are so many other ways to orgasm and making her cum is a huge turn on for me

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With my first wife if I felt I was cumming too soon, I would start reciting in my head the different multiplication tables, if that didnt work I would imagine a trip around the zoo seeing all the different animals … go on, laugh but it sometimes did work… :smiley: :rofl:

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I think it’s already been suggested above but if not, make a point of satisfying her first, fingers, tongue, toys or all three beforehand and then when you cum, you’ll know that you’re both satisfied.
You could even do the right thing and go back down for seconds and see if you can make her cum again whilst cleaning up.
Who knows, by the time you’ve finished you might be ready to go again yourself and probably last longer.

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@Joe_90 I always do, love giving so OH is well looked after before PIV sometimes I think that contributes to.my issue because Im getting turned on while giving with fingers, tongue, toys etc.

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I can see how that might be a problem now you’ve mentioned it.
Good luck finding a solution :+1:

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@MrDark I have asked him a couple of times and he’s said no other side effects so far after about 6 months. It’s definitely helped and I think we are both very happy. Before he was done in a minute or two and now it’s at least 10 minutes or more if he wants to and he can control when he cums now.

We saw a change in the first two weeks with him lasting longer and this has continued to get better. The other effects happened after a couple of months and I remember him being very surprised that he hadn’t needed to wank for about 3 weeks, which was not normal at all for him! Some effect on libido / drive is quite common according to the doctor so this makes sense and doesn’t seem to bother him.

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I always make sure OH gets off before PIV.

I always get there quiet quick once I’m in and i feel like its too soon but the reaction from OH is always go for it.

I think i did last longer before kids and we were having more frequent sex so i was used to the wondrous sensations of PIV.

I also wonder how much porn has set unrealistic expectations of how long men should last.

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I don’t know how long sex is even supposed to last. I could be banging away for an hour with no orgasm one day and cumming in 30 seconds another day, utterly variable and unpredictable. What is the “right” duration of sex?

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