Can I ask people’s opinions on how they have brought up feelings and desires they want to try with there partners but are unsure of the reaction
Bit hard on here as everyone is very open minded but thought I’d ask
So if they said
I want to try a butt plug (on himself)
I want you to spank me
I enjoy wearing women’s lingerie
Can you see were this is going. So I’ve already mentioned the first two things to my oh but can’t bring up the 3rd,
We are only just starting to open up about are sexual desires and as a couple still very reserved with each other and with these things, I’m definitely more relaxed and happy to try things and probably have the higher sex drive and willing to try things but I’m so scared if I mentioned the lingerie it’s going to affect are relationship for the worse
Is wearing women’s lingerie more shocking to hear than wanting to push something up my bum
Look at it from a couple who have never been very adventures before
Had your first two questions already. Hubby said he wanted to try a butt plug on himself but he also wanted me to try. I gave him a small one I had bought for myself but had not used and ordered another for myself. We set a day to try but Hubby then hubby backed out as he said he didn’t think it was right. Said he was happy to help me try (strange he thought it wasn’t right for him but it was for me). Anyway I said no, I have issues with anal in my passed and decided it was not worth it.
We regularly spank, he spanks me more but when we go to the dungeon next October I will be getting my own back.
I would not mind if he wanted to wear women’s lingerie as long as it is not mine. Although he has said he has no interest whatsoever in wearing women’s lingerie and I would not be aroused at the sight of him wearing it in any way.
I know she doesn’t want to try a butt plug on herself which is fine, I’ve spent time alone trying butt plugs and dildos but never told her and have found my love of wearing lingerie, I just don’t know if it’s going to be to much for her to comprehend
We’re not into anal, we tried at my suggestion, but it’s not for us. We indulge in light spanking of each other, it just came about during our sex play and we’ve found we both enjoyed it.
My lingerie wearing started when I first rubbed my cock with her knickers, again, during our sex play. This led to me slipping them on, which really turned her on. I then bought some knickers for myself and surprised her by wearing them all day, and telling her about it.
I guess I’m just lucky, but I’m now in lingerie most the time and we both love it
You never know, it might be a big turn on for her. If not, you have at least let her know that you enjoy it. It’s best if nothings kept secret. Good luck
Sounds very familiar with the knickers I love sliding my cock up and down her satin knickers while she’s wearing them that’s how I started to try them on when she is out and now I’m getting to the obsessed stage of wearing lingerie and now I love taking pics of me in it, I think its just because its a new thing for me so hopefully will calm down soon
I already owned male lingerie when I met my partner. I was just open with her that I was quiet flexible in my sexuality and enjoyed not only “traditional” male things, but also things that are more commonly viewed as female. She finds it very sexy, so good all round.
If you’re partner has already been positively receptive of your other things, then this could add another positive element to your relationship. If you’re feeling nervous or uncertain about how it will be recieved then you could start with a discussion about sexy male underwear (lovehoney has a reasonable range of thongs and lace aimed at men) and wanting to explore that with her, then build from there.
Yeah as you lot already know and seen as I can’t stop taking pics at the moment I’m loving the lingerie at the moment but definitely think it would be baby steps just a pair of silky knickers or similar first, don’t think me walking in with a complete head to toe lingerie set one would be the way to do it, as much as I love to
How I feel in it is probably not how I actually look in it
I think @FunTimesAhead has a good idea about you getting some of the Lh male underwear. They do lacy thongs and boxers, see how she reacts to them first. My hubby will wear them.
It’s all about the mental load. Most guys who are into this are actually the ones running the show at work all day—making 100 high-stakes decisions an hour. The hottest thing a partner can do is take that control away. It’s a total psychological reset.
I was actually reading about how the high-end markets in Eastern Europe handle this ‘mental off-switch.’ If you look at the professional standards in a place like Moscow—check out https://escortmsk.com for a minute—you’ll see how they frame ‘authority.’ It’s not just about the acts; it’s about the presence. Sometimes looking at how the pros curate that ‘Mistress’ energy helps you realize that at home, it’s more about the headspace than just the physical side. It’s about being allowed to stop thinking for once.
I have updated your question title but you may want to edit your question to keep in line with the forum rules (about not singling out a group of people)
First things first, I wouldn’t be horrified or anything like that. I’ve intermingled with plenty of submissive men in my time (and see several of them as good friends). But would that work for me in a relationship? No, and here’s why:
I want to try a butt plug (on himself)
Fair enough, you do you. Some men are into anal stimulation and that’s totally cool with me. Where it would become a problem is if he wanted me to peg him - I’m not into pegging men.
I want you to spank me
Outside of a playful messing around/playfighting? That’s off. I am sexually submissive, and I’ve always been sexually submissive. Even if I seem dominant to many people, at my heart of heart, I have no desire nor intention to Dominate. I’ve dated submissive men before, we didn’t work. In my personal experience/opinion, it’s not as simple as taking turns or doing it to please your partner: you need somebody who wants to Dominate you. That’s not a new phemonema either; many kinky people have struggled to get their “vanilla” partners to understand their wants and needs.
I enjoy wearing women’s lingerie
Again, not a new thing to me. I’m absolutely fine with people who do it, but if I had a partner who was wearing my clothing while I’m not around, especially as a fetish, that could spell the end of us. Shopping is a thing. Self-control (and respect) is a thing. Buy your own lingerie, don’t wear mine.
So, to summarise: I’d never judge a man who was into any of those things, but from experience, I’d know that we’re not compatible romantically
I have got a pouched thong that I surprised her with ages ago, now I know better that wasn’t the way to do it and I’ve not warn it since together
What I might do is next time she has some satin knickers on I might ask if I can put the thong on to see how it feels sliding up and down her knickers while we are under the cover and then baby step it so the time after we have the covers off so she gets use to me in that before we go to women’s underwear
I feel really bad now reading your reply, I don’t want to make her do anything she doesn’t want to do, I never thought about the spanking in that way before.
I just feel a bit like I’m cheating on her in a way as I’m sneaking around while she not in, I know it’s all about communication but it’s really hard to tell someone who you have been with for so long and you think you know each other inside and out that you have realised you enjoy wearing women’s lingerie, so scared of what might happen
The spanking is something I’ve never done before but would like to try it, I’m not wanting to spank her but I would if she wanted to but I want to see what it feels like, I’m not wanting anything heavy just the feel of having my bum cheeks lightly spanked I may decide I don’t like it
Please don’t feel bad. My opinion was only my opinion and wasn’t meant to shame you.
Communication is the start of everything and it’s really good to start by having a conversation with your partner, and yes, it can be scary. If looking her in the face feels too scary, could you write her a letter to begin with? My partners and I use the Embrace app, but you would need to get her to sign up (it’s free for one entry each per day) first.
You also don’t have to tell her that you’ve been trying on her clothing: wash what you’ve worn, buy your own and think of it as a first step in embracing the real you. You were curious and excited, but now you know what you like, and there is absolutely no shame in that. You can confess to her if it would make you feel better, but think about how she might react: might it be better just to buy your own and turn a new leaf?
There’s also absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying spanking. I’ve done it before and do enjoy giving a playful spanking, but I couldn’t become a Dominant partner to someone when, at heart, we crucially both want the same thing. You could ask her if she’d like to try it sometime. If you both like it, great! If not, suffice to say it’s a lesson learned and not to be repeated
Thank you, you are right I have now bought my own bra which does feel completely different as I know it’s mine but still think I’ll start with with something less like wearing knickers before I go into bras ect
She knows I want to try spanking I did use the letter approach with that and the butt plug so she knows about them but couldn’t go as far as the lingerie.
She did take it surprisingly well to be honest so we are waiting for the right time/ right frame of mind to try it
I’m looking at your question in a different perspective based on the title about male submission.
We as a couple started pegging back around 2010. It was my wife’s idea after some anal play on me during blow jobs. Not going into all the details of our pegging, at first it was the physical nature of having something in my bum and being pegged. What transpired for me is the physiological aspect of being penetrated and not just the physical stimulation. I found I was very turned on by being the one to be penetrated. The feeling of giving up control. Feeling of being vulnerable, the feeling of being open and receiving. When I shared this with my OH she had similar feelings of the opposite. As the male the physiological part of not necessarily being a submissive but submitting myself and allowing me to be penetrated is a very big turn on that has played a role in our pegging sessions
I love wearing a male thong getting bent over and the wife pulls it to one side and pegs me, love being submissive, she loves it more, she loves to take control and become the dominant one!
We’ve been together 29 yrs and our sex life is better than it’s ever been. Trying new things adds more spice, you should just wear some stockings and see what her reaction is
