Question I hope I can ask how to give the perfect BJ

Ok been married a long time but I have to say I don't feel confident giving BJ's my husband is quiet and shy even during sex and doesn't make a lot of noise if any. He's only ever cum once when I have done it and it took forever. I'm obiously doing something wrong but he says it's fine. He sometimes loses his erection as well which makes me think I must be really rubbish at it.

Any advice please.

Its largely about confidence. I have quite low confidence myself but once I learned to 'fake it' my boyfriend enjoyed blowjobs so much more. He thinks you're sexy, he's just shy. Take control and believe you're sexy! Look at him while you're giving head, make it messy and moan to let him know how much you're enjoying it! If all else fails, ask him outright how he likes it. Ask him to show you. Or, search around for yourself. When you get the right bits you'll know! Good luck x

Practise makes perfect!

I taught myself to deep throat using tinned hotdog sausages! Pmsl

You can try using a favoured lube to improve the moisture in your mouth - I do as I find after a while my mouth goes dry and my gag reflex kicks in.

My husband takes ages to but he assures me I'm pretty good at it. Apparently I could "suck start a leaf blower"

But in the past I've had guys cum within minutes, so my advice is to practise as much as possible, he won't complain I'm sure.

Thanks he doesn't watch me when I do it I wish he would. I often look up but his eyes are close. I tend to suck but find I easily lose rythmn.

Hi delightme. Have contact with his knob as much as possible, Use two hands if you have to, one pulling down and at the bottom of his shaft the other as an extension of your mouth. So that when you withdraw your fingers will stimulate his rim and you can plunge down and have a guide as to how deep he goes, this will stop you gagging and he gets maximum contact and stimulation.

You can use this hand to give him a few pumps whilst you give your jaw a rest.

With the lower hand you can feel if his balls tighten, this is a good indication that he's near to cumming.

I cant see him losing an erection this way.

Enjoy. x

We do a variation of that so she can give me a full body orgasm.

Enjoy. x

Thanks for the advice will keep working at it.

As brumguy and dont tuck up tongue away leave it loose resting near your bottom lip as it gives a much deeper bj illusion... no gagging

There's no magic rule, every man is different. Practice makes perfect and just enjoy it.

I have to agree it's so much a about practice. Psych yourself up to enjoying it, I didn't use to enjoy it and now I really do. The technique with your hand as an extension of your mouth is great, using your tounge is good, lick and tease, create different sensations and stimulation and remember the blow job isn't just about his member ;). Don't be shy about asking what he likes, what he does when he touches himself.

Good luck hun! x

Personally I enjoy it more if she seems to be enjoying doing it. As for noise I don't make any either. Maybe start off by telling him you want him in your mouth then what you want after. Tease his mind as well as his member, once he gets more comfortable he will reciprocate, especially if him talking turns you on and you let him know it. We all know guys suck at the whole talking thing.

One of the first few times I gave my bf a blowjob, he fell asleep! I was not happy. But yes, the most important things are:

1. Try asking him what he wants. You say he won't tell you but he might just be scared of upsetting you/being too bossy so make sure he feels free to say what he wants

2. Your tongue is probably the most important tool. It should make contact with the penis almost all the time your mouth is on it

3. Keep up a regular rhythm. This is something I found really hard at first but you don't have to go fast. I found going a moderate speed in a regular rhythm got him off much faster than trying to go fast and losing that rhythm

4. The bit just under the tip is the most sensitive I find. I like alternating between moderate speed up and down his shaft, then stimulating the head faster with either my hand or tongue. He may also really enjoy his balls being played with but I think it can be too sensitive for some guys so you might want to check that first

Good luck! The key thing is don't give up, I was pretty bad at them too at first but now I think they're one of the things I'm best at :)

Sound like you're enjoying it and like it's turning you on.

Build up to it too, don't just dive right in. Do it under the covers of it helps. Kiss his stomach and all the way down and his inner thighs too. You don't have to have him in your mouth the whole time, you can lick the tip and use your hands. Lick and stroke his testicles too if he likes it.

Build up the tention as much as possible, a bit of teasing never hurt anyone ;)

Also an alcoholic beverage beforehand is never a bad idea either :)

Already some great advice from others. You could also try sensory play, like using ice or drinking something bubbly as you go down on him. I recently tried sucking on a soft mint whilst giving my hubby a BJ, and he really liked the extra tingles!

Good luck, and enjoy yourselves!

Hi delightme

There's tonnes of great advice here - and as the others have said, it's all about practice and communication. Chat to your partner to find out if there's anything he'd love you to try while you're performing oral, and don't be disheartened if he doesn't come every time. A blow job doesn't have to result in orgasm to be a 'success'. 

Perhaps he's feeling some pressure to come during oral which is getting in the way of him relaxing into it and being able to fully release. Why not try spending just a short amount of time teasing him with your mouth without the intention of making him come to see where that gets you both? Changing position can also have a huge impact on his experience - you could try varying it to see if he prefers it when he's stood up, led down, sat on a chair... 

Also, don't forget that everyone is different, and (believe it or not) some guys just aren't that into receiving oral! It's not necessarily a reflection on your skills, but his tastes. Speak to him to see if there's something different you could be doing during foreplay to turn him on even more - whether that's a new techniquie during oral, or something entirely different focussing on another part of his body.

We have a great video on our YouTube channel too, which might help gove you some ideas for things to try during oral :) 

How to Give Amazing Blow Jobs in 6 Easy Steps

Have fun! 

He is def under no pressure to come, I don't swallow, Ijust want to make sure I'm doing it right. He is the only person I have ever been with. he doesn't say what he likes so it makes it very hard.

He's got to open up to you. Tell him how you feel, by not knowing what's going on.

Enjoy.  x

You've already had some great advice.

I just want to add that some men will find it difficult to orgasm from oral stimulation alone - the same way a lot of women won't orgasm from penetration alone. Sometimes it requires additional stimulation.

For us, in order to ensure a toe curling experience, we use a stroker in combination with oral (mainly because it feels good, but yes, it also saves strain on your jaw too!).

Don't forget the ballies! Be sure to give them a good tickle!

Don't forget the Perineum. Give that a stroke and apply a little bit of pressure. Drives em crazy ;)