Reaching out for FWB situation, how do you navigate that?

In the back of my mind, I wonder how someone would reach out for a FWB situation, and do it safely. It not something I have considered until recently, and I am really unsure about where to start, if I wanted that kind of arrangement.

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Firstly it would be a conversation with your wife to open up your relationship. Or divorce and moving on.

After that you find someone you have mutual respect with and through chats and understanding ask if they want a closer fun relationship with some play.

it’s not easy, it takes confidence to be hurt and confidence to try. Finding someone with a similar mind is difficult.

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I’d echo @JGood on that.

I feel if you have a conversation with your wife and she’s good with you seeking sexual satisfaction outside of the marriage then fine, if shes not on board with it and you are unable to cope with your mismatched sex drives then divorce may well be the next option.

I’m not saying you would but if you were to seek out a FWB behind your wife’s back then that’s simply cheating.

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I wouldn’t cheat on my wife, that’s not in my personality. However, I don’t really want to look outside the marriage for sex. If my wife can not get on board with more sexual play, then a FWB thing might be an option. It would be her choice. I’m simply not going to rely on masturbation several times a week for the rest of my life.

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What about a sex doll?

Do you have a room or your garage where you have a man cave?

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If you open your marriage to allow you to go elsewhere then she should also have the same opportunity as you to find a fwb. From your previous posts I would say that your wife has tried to be more intimate with you but the problem seems to be you not having an orgasm leaving you frustrated What makes you think a fwb is going to change that?

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So the FWB is only an option if your wife agrees to it? Her other choice is to be more sexually active?

What if she doesn’t go for either of these options?

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The other thing with friends with benefits is it’s all fun and games until somebody catches feelings. Fine if it goes both ways, difficult if not.

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Also if you did get a fwb be prepared to never have sex with your wife again. I for one would not go near hubby if he did that to me, might as well get divorced or just try and find someone for myself.

She still would have needs but not as often as you do.

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I don’t know your wife, but from your previous posts, I’d imagine she wouldn’t accept or allow opening your marriage up to having friends with benefits.

How do you feel about her being intimate with other men? because it has to work both ways.

In my opinion this is a sticky situation and one I would be very careful with, from previous forum posts, a lot of people tend to have regrets or completely change their minds.

It needs lots of communication and consideration from both of you :slightly_smiling_face:

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This was more a hypothetical question than anything. While my wife has been less caustic toward me, it would say she has exactly been super affectionate. My point is, if she refuses to consider trying to make any changes in our intimate life, I could ask her if she would approve another partner. Yes, it could go both ways, but is seems to me she isn’t taking advantage of a VERY willing partner. My orgasm difficulty is a separate issue entirely, which I think we have sorted out, though have not tested the results.

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Toys are the answer to every sexually frustrating situation!! :high_voltage::high_voltage::high_voltage: who knows, she might end up liking them too and then congratulations, the marriage is saved!! :high_voltage::high_voltage::sparkler::tada::partying_face:

X han

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It’s the reason I suggested a sex doll @Hannahnim and a place for @Latestr8 to have for himself like a man cave. There is no one stop shop for these things as his wife is a therapist (if remembering correctly) but I agree with @Stacy2 & @Wood-Nymph if it did go that way then it needs to be both ways.

And at every step we have all said at one point or another that communication should be the first recourse

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That’s a quick contradiction.

FWB whilst married is by definition sex outside marriage.

Not saying it can’t work for some, just trying to make sure you understand yourself here.

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It isnt because you’re standing there with an erect knob that she’s gonna want to jump on it.

I’m sure there’s more to it.

Frankly, you’re very freshly into therapy - which may open a lot of “mind cupboard doors”.

I would recommend you hold on for a while. See where therapy takes you.

It really is a journey and in 6/12 months you may feel equally stupid at this idea or totally validated. No need to rush into life changing decisions.

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I have bought some sex toys for both of us. So far, hers are collecting dust, I have put the majority of mine to work already. We even took some toys on a weekend getaway for our anniversary. They never came out of the bag.

Just sayin.

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What about an AI sex bot

It’s close to interactive porn

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AI, might be interesting to talk to, no warm body to lay close to. I’m not asking the moon here. Just a little attention.

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@Latestr8 I can’t see this ending well even if you just want to talk to your wife about it, it possible could end your marriage or make your marriage a awkward marriage.

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The more I think about it, the less it seems a good idea. Even if she was open to it, the possible damage to our otherwise good relationship might be too much. I’m taking a different approach I think. Based on some research I did over the past day, I might have stumbled on to something I can use to try to make things better. Her willingness to entertain the change will be crucial to the success. I can’t believe she will not be on board, if I can get my point across without being pushy.

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