So, I was wondering how folks reacted when their OH approached them out of the blue about the purchase of some sex toys. Would you get intrigued or annoyed? I’m thinking of broaching the subject with my wife, and am unsure how to start the discussion.
2 Likes
My first thought for you is absolutely don’t bring up the subject out of the blue. While having a sexual conversation then you can bring up the subject, I might be wrong but I feel your OH will freeze and not like it being brought up without a gentle way.
2 Likes
As we are on the Lovehoney forum, I reckon most members have had this or a similar conversation with their partner.
I would always suggest, a soft approach with sex-toys. I wouldn’t purchase anything without talking about it first 
3 Likes
I suppose it all depends on the type of toys you’re thinking of buying and what you’re currently used to during play times.
Toys for me, I tend to just buy and she’ll happily use them on me, but we’re comfortable with what we do and enjoy now, so if I introduced a new dong for pegging she’ll get excited about using it. We did talk about me buying a flashlight though, which was only purchased because she had her operation and couldn’t perform for me.
Now if they’re for her, this is definitely a conversation to be had. The last thing I want is for her to feel uncomfortable and for it to be a waste of money as she refuses to use it. Some of the items I buy to surprise her are lingerie, I think this is susceptible however even some items of clothing may make her feel uncomfortable so depending on the style conversation may still be needed.
1 Like
I think that only you can read the room on this one as to how your OH will react.
It needs to be dealt with sensitively and it depends on the type of toy, is it for both of you, just you or just your OH. If it for both then it might have a better chance.
You’ll just need to ask and respect the response.
3 Likes
I suspect if I just went out and bought a dildo, and walked into the bedroom waving it in the air, well, she would bolt for the door and I wouldn’t get near her for a while. The stuff I am thinking of is like a glass dildo, for couples play, to replace my penis or finger while giving oral, and maybe a vibrating cock ring for both our pleasure. Also, maybe a prostate toy for me. All these would be with her absolute approval. So having opinions from others, like yourselves, who probably have gone through this at some time can give me a template to use for a start. Thanks for your input.
1 Like
I have already, some time ago, bought her a silicone vibrator as a gift. It seems she has not really embraced it as yet. However, we have not played with it together, and she is having difficulty orgasming lately, so it might be time to revisit it, gently!
1 Like
How about going through the LH website together, broach the subject by saying that you have heard good things about the website and the toys from LH.
The suggest that you might want to consider them as a couple and would your partner be open to taking a look at what is out there. Assuming that the response at this stage is positive then it might be that your partner takes an interest in something.
If not then you ask how they feel about you getting something for yourself.
Good luck.
Well, that is a good idea, however I would not lead her to LH. I have posted some things that she might be surprised with, and not necessarily in a good way. But, I could find another site that sells toys and we could look there, or take her to a sex shop here and browse together, which would be more intimidating , especially as she is well known in the community. Thanks for your advice.
1 Like
Where do you have your most intimate and vulnerable conversations? In bed over coffee? On the sofa with wine after dinner? In the shower? That’s where I would raise it, personally. But ask her how she would feel, not “I’ve spent a week’s salary on Lovehoney”. Slow and careful.
Good luck
Our most intimate conversations strangely often come up when we’re on a road trip, stuck in a vehicle with nothing to do except watch the road signs whiz by. Otherwise, it is often when we are out, having a bite at one of the local coffee bars. Probably not the place to bring up sex matters, though it has happened. After this morning though, I’m inclined to shelve the subject.
Read my most recent other post, thanks for your ideas. I’ll keep them in mind.
2 Likes
We bought toys shortly after hubbys ed. I think the first thing i got was the mini rabbit, not too intimidating to start. We saw the lh adverts on the tv and hubby suggested i go online and buy something for myself. Toys for me opened up a whole new experience, discovering i could have multiple orgasms. I dont have huge dildos as i am more into the clit suckers and the dual clit and g spot toys. I would suggest, if she is open to toys, allowing her to choose something herself. A lot of men think the bigger the better, which is not always the case, and the look of a big dildo can be so intimidating that it wont get used.
I have one, the greedy girl girthy rabbit, which is just too big and cant use. I think i must have been extra horney the day i ordered it. 
2 Likes
I agree with everyone who says have the conversation first before sprining a sex toy on your partner.
If I had someone say they gots some toys on order I’d be real excited 
2 Likes
Many people find awkward conversations easier when in a vehicle or walking along and you may wonder why…
You are side-by-side and not facing each other and can avoid eye contact at the most difficult parts. Perhaps it also gives either party a chance to divert away by ‘spotting something interesting’ rather than being in a room on the other side of a table with no easy escape.
Doesn’t mean the conversation is muted or avoided, just done in a different way.
That makes total sense. Not facing each other seems less intimidating,and you can largely hide your facial expressions in case you have a bad reaction to what is being said.
1 Like
me too!
1 Like
I would love it if hubby surprised me with toys as a gift. It might be a bit intimidating to get into bed and he pulls out 10 new toys, but I think presenting someone at an appropriate time with some new, boxed toys for later use would be fun. If she likes that sort of thing.
4 Likes
My OH really isn’t into toys, at least not up to now. We are trying to enhance our play due to both of us having difficulty attaining orgasms, and simply wanting to add some spice to the fun. I am inclined to order a couple items and take the chance she will be open to trying them.
Our wedding anniversary is coming up so now might be a good time as we are planning a get away to celebrate.
2 Likes
Risky strategy, but may work.