Refuses to wear a condom

So my friend was over for a chat and she told me about her new man. She met him 2 weeks ago and slept with him the day she met him. And now she is moving in with him. She is really excited about it and they both seem to like eachother. I am very happy for her.

My problum is at the end of the converstation she mentioned he hates using condoms.

He refuses to wear them. My jaw hit the floor, all she is worried about is getting pregnant as she does not use any form of birth control as she feels the hormones will upset her natural balance etc. I asked her if she was scared about getting STIs and she said she didnt even think about it.

I said she needed to get herself tested and ask him todo they say. Her reply was why I trust him.

Would any of you trust someone who you have known for 2 weeks?

no i wouldn't

i need trust to be able to have sex with someone anyway but less so with condoms. i'd only consider without condoms in a monogomus long term relationship after an STI test for both of us ( im on the implant)

I don't know if all my sexual partners were clean ( i've been tested but that was a year ago and 3 partners) and i've used condoms with all of them.

stis can be invisible as well which does worry me

It's not even a matter of trust, a shocking proportion of people have STDs without even realising it.

She really doesn't sound like the sharpest pencil in the drawer, and you need to slap some sense into her, before she gets pregnant or catches something serious.

Moving in after two weeks together? Give me strength...

So she slept with him without a condom the first time she met him AND she doesn't use her own contraception either? I never usually judge anyone but that is insane.... If she wants to risk her own sexual health that's her choice I guess, but to risk a pregnancy after such a short time? You need to be having a hard word with her.... Whether he likes condoms or not is irrelevant, will he like a baby??

I can't say too much bout the moving in thing, I knew a guy for two intense weeks, two weeks apart then we moved in together and stayed that way for 7 years.... but because of that I can safely say it's damn hard, getting to know someone is hard enough without the pressure of living with them at the same time....

I hope she has been lucky so far & stops putting herself at risk straightaway...

Trust him after 2 weeks? Oh no! Increndiaire is right, there are so many sti's out there, and not all can be seen. For her own health she should demand a condom, if he still says no, then he isnt worth the hassle.

If he uses an excuse such as he has an issue with the latex, there is latex free condoms. There really is no excuse.

don’t mean to sound harsh buts she’s being really stupid, I think moving in with someone you met, slept with straight away and then 2 weeks later u live together she has no idea what he’s like etc. 24/7 but that’s her own choice more serious is that the guy could have anything such as herpes which you can’t get rid of I remind you, or anything else. He may know he has them and doesn’t want to turn down the sex or he doesn’t even know he has anything.

she will end up with something and then she will be pretty screwed if she’s lucky she will have to go dr's and get some pills etc. if she’s unlucky she will end up infertile or pregnant


No, I would not stop using condoms after 2 weeks. I think its too soon. You need to get tests and I would suggest to wait few months for that, as some STD need some time to be found in the blood as positives.

And I would be worried about pregnancy. Yes, there are more choices than condom, hormonal contraception and the coil, but as they are not sure if they are both safe from STD, I would say avoid those. Until both are clean and know each other better.

As for moving in, I would still keep my place, but I know my friend moved in with her current partner after 1 month or so, she was just staying so much at his place they decided to take this step. But she kept her own room in case... So they can do it if it will make them happy.

That's absoultely insane.

I hate wearing condoms, but I'd never fuck someone on the first date without protection.

Heck, I even test myself for STD's even though I know I've got a <10% chance of getting one & insist any sexual partners do the same!

Either way it sounds like she's going to end up with something she doesn't want.

If he doesn't like condoms I wonder how he feels about unplanned children...


Moving in agfte 2 weeks? Alarm bells ringing, not right at all!

I wouldn't trust a guy without a condom, until 1)we'd been together a fair while 2) I was on birth control.

No offense to your mate but if this guy is that adament and moving that fast, he really doesn't seem like a committed guy. what if she falls pregnant and he buggers off?

you dont wear a coat whilst having a shower do you !!!!!

but if you are enjoying yourself and having fun with few people you deff need to have some form of protection for both parties

if nobody has got anything then getting checked out dont take long , and if you do respect each other then waiting a week or two aint a problem in my book

we all had drunk one niters






my gf likes the feel of cum inside her and also shotting it around, but each to they own

Well my OH and i slept together on our first date and it was without a condom, within two weeks we were making plans to live together BUT she was on the pill she had had only 1 relationship and so had I, AND that was back in the day before AIDS etc. Taking no precautions at all is what you do when you want to start a family and sods law states you fall pregnant at the most inconvenient time.

I could not imagine doing this! This girl needs a hard slap across the face. I personally disagree with sleeping with sex on the first date. Sex with a person you barely know is just silly. I wouldn't feel safe going anywhere that wasn't a public place with somebody I just met. But then to not use a condom is just ridiculous, as the others have said, its very easy to contract an STI and because so many of them go un-noticed, its just not worth the risk!

Moving in with him isn't a good idea either. What if he has a history of violence or something like that?! 2 weeks is not long enough to get to know anybody. There is a new law "Clare's Law" which is all about helping women and men who may be concerned about if their partner has a violent past. Please help her see that what she's doing is wrong!

SexyBumBully wrote:

I personally disagree with sleeping with sex on the first date. Sex with a person you barely know is just silly.


we wernt complete strangers but it was a fantastic experience, it just felt "right" but I do agree with what you say about a complete stranger.

I found out later it wasnt a spur of the moment thing with her either, she planned it, I would never propose it as few women would accept and I didnt want to screw it up from the start lol

dont think i would have a friend like this to start with, i have a name for people that have sex on first time of seeing someone, and to move in after 2 weeks is madness they dont even know each other, and as for STI stupid comes to mind

ok, I feel that they should be still using condoms, and that they both should go for tests.

But moving in after 2 weeks can work for some people.

I moved in with my partner after 2 weeks, to be fair I did have a choice, and now due to the lack of money we have to live apart - it's cheaper for us. But we have been together for about 6 years now. I guess we did also know each other a year or two before as well, which probably helped. But still moving so soon can work for some =)

Kinda miss living my OH, so much was easier then, just sucky that he doesn't have any money, and I personally couldn't cope with his family. Maybe one day he'll be able to get work, or I'll get more money.


I am glad that you and your partner we're comfortable enough to have sex on your first date and enjoyed the experience. My apologies if I offended! Didn't mean to!

I only disagree with it because I've done it, I too felt it was right but realised that I couldn't have been more wrong and did regret it. So now I would encourage people to wait until you know each other a little better.

Again apologies if I caused offence


glen close, a knife and white rabbit comes to mind...............


Absolutely no offence taken, so far as I knew my OH was in a relationship for 5 yrs I didnt know they had split up and didnt ask. I thought it was just a meal out with someone I sort of knew. We didnt flirt at all just sat across the table and talked and talked and laughed. When it was time to go about 10PM (I was on 6-2 shift) she looked me straight in the eyes and said "we dont have to go straight home do we" 5 minutes later we were making love in my van. I didnt have time to be comfortable or uncomfortable with it lol I didnt honestly believe it was happening, she is still good looking at the time she was stunning, way out of my league I thought.

The night was 18 June 1982 our second date was a weekend in the Lake District, in between I won 2 races at Lydden Hill, thats the power of love lol

However I agree with what you say as a general principle and once again no offense taken

Thank you all for the advice. I saw her today and had a proper chat with her and also gave her a scare story.

I have only ever slept with one guy and we had been going out for a few months before we had sex. After being togither for 7 months I trusted him and we didnt always use a condom. I was 19 and a little silly at the time. after a year we broke up. 6 months later I was having awful tummy cramps and I was bleeding even though I was on the pill. I went to the Doctors and they sent me right to the hospital as my temp was so high. It turned out I had pelvic inflammatory disease caused by getting an STI from my ex. I was in hospital for 3 days as the treated it. If it had gone on for longer I could of become infertile.

As I told her that story I could see the colour drain from her face. She is in between jobs as she left her Au Pair job to move in with her BF and she does not have any social security atm. (we live in France) So once she has a job she will get tested. I told her the she needs to do it soon. But no doubt they will still sleep togither without any protection.