Ruined sex life with giving head?

simply - on behalf of all men - we thank you !!

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We got stuck in a rut, it was becoming the same thing over and over. I was so desperate for more and even though I was telling him that I wanted to be f”!%#+ harder it didn’t seem to register. I tried approaching it different ways and still nothing. I booked a few nights away for the 2 of us, and we sat in the restaurant together and because I had his whole attention I told him that our sex life is starting to bore me and that I had started to fake orgasms because I wanted him to feel I was satisfied. He was shocked that I hadn’t told him sooner. Communication is so important


@CowboyandFilly thank you for being so open and honest.

A really brave step you took and assuming things perked up after you spoke up?

I truly hope so

Things didn’t pick up straight away. I will be totally honest I would love to have sex 4 times a day. I start my day in the shower having a play and I started to ask him to join me. I showed him what I like and how it turned me on. After getting him to join in my solo sessions, he started to realise that I needed more


Sounds like your in need of a spice up in the bedroom and maybe try taking the head off the cards for a while to see what else you both can to do try engage in pleasures…
I’d start by talking to him and saying you’re getting fed up of always doing the same things and want to try explore new stuff with him to have a new lease of fun together.
I’d also try having a browse to see what things you’d like to try out so when he says “well what would you like to do?”, you’ll have some ideas at hand to get started on :slightly_smiling_face:

I think the big C has to come out. “Conversation” it will not be easy but at times are required to get things back on track. Good luck. It will be worth it in the end.

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I’m sorry to say that as of yet… the conversation hasn’t happened.

It has been on my mind, and of course all your brilliant advice, and I’ve been rehearsing in my mind how to start, what to say, etc, but I just haven’t mustered up the courage.

I suspect I may be hiding behind the ‘surely he must know?!’ resentment/excuse.

I woke up very sad this morning, and a little teary, after trying to play out what I should be saying etc.

I know I will speak up, it just hasn’t yet happened x

@Manybuttons if you’re finding it hard to have the conversation write it down and give it to him to read or send it in a text message. Covid and the cost of living crisis has taken its toll on many people he may be having a hard time and not saying. This could lead to becoming lazy in the effort department. Hope you work things out.

As many others have said the conversation must be had in order to help the situation.

From a male perspective I can quite honestly say I would happily take head every night however my partner does not enjoy doing it yet when she does it is mind blowing for me.

You probably will of but, have you tried warming yourself up before hand so you are nice and relaxed and instead of going straight down on him jump on top and just get him inside. Or even tease him with anal play? Maybe even try some restraints so he has to let you do what you want. Yes this puts all the energetic stuff on you but it will at least give him an insight into what you need from the physical side.

Just stumbled across this conversation, it sounds like many have said, the sexual side of your relationship needs a reset. It seems that you are cognizant of his needs, but him not of yours.

If you keep giving him what he wants then the requirement for him to listen to your needs diminishes so make him earn his pleasure by pleasing you.


Communication, communication, communication yes the key here is communication you really need to tell him your likes and dislikes otherwise it’s going to continue on this dark path, and then will eventually make you both miserable. Sending hugs x

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