How many people go and get checked out before having unprotected sex (PIV, anal, oral) with a new partner? The future Mrs Balls and myself did, I also had a vasectomy many years ago and checked I was still firing blanks.
Never had any tests, but there again only had less than a handful of partners who are all long term anyway, and they were similar shy people. Also, not sure if it is unusual, but I’ve never worn a condom either, just never been the requirement.
Of course I wish there’d been loads more partners along the way and casual flings etc, but they never happened due to my introverted character etc.
Now I’m confident and know how to be, I’m too old anyway ![]()
My now hubbie and I went to the clinic and tested before we ditched the condoms.
I’d had a few partners in a relatively short period while I was single, and hadn’t always used condoms. So, it just seemed the best thing. We got the all clear, and off we went. ![]()
In my youth i always insisted on condoms with the couple of blokes i had sex with. Never gave oral to anyone before hubby. Only started to have sex with hubby after about three months of dating him. I knew i was ok but at that time i thought hubby had only had one relationship but since found out recently he had had another one that had lasted about 6 months and a few casual ones. Had i known at the time i would have questioned if condoms had been used and if not insisted he got tested. But all has been ok apart from when i had a problem with some pain and for some reason i was referred to the sexual health clinic they did tests, thats when the doctor put her hand up there, and all the tests came back fine. They referred me to another consultant had x-rays and a scan turned out i had pulled something when i accidentally did the splits and had to have some sound wave therapy to break down scar tissue.
It was stressful at the time as hubby thought i had cheated on him.
Mandatory with me at the start of a rlationship but if we’re secure and no regular casual partners I don’t see the need. It’s all about trust and dynamics. Obviously a breach of trust changes everything, including the dynamic I’m in.
Wasn’t a requirement for us but we used condoms with previous partners so wasn’t a major concern. That said it just happened to work out that a friend of mine wanted to get checked so I went too in solidarity and got the all clear shortly before I met my wife.
Mandatory for me too, and re-tests. What comes with having multiple regular partners.
At the beginning we both did - I think it should probably be mandatory at the start of any relationship. Trust is gained but you never know who they’ve been with prior ![]()
I think this is a good practice to have and helps build on trust.
I was tested before having unprotected sex with an exclusive male partner. I think it’s a good habit to get into, especially if people have had more than one partner. There’s no shame in it, it’s just being safe.
I would get myself checked and would ask if they had been checked recently (if they hadn’t, I’d request we both got screened)
It was a conversation me and my boyfriend had prior to an overnight date where contraception, protection and STI checks came up. Neither of us asked for proof (sounds bad to write that but I’d have been happy to show the message with the all clear if he’d asked. I felt the conversation covered a fair amount with a lot of honesty)
Samantha here. Yes i did when I met ben as id been sleeping around abit before hand and not always careful. Was all clear though.
Always get checked.
although one partners mother insisted her daughter didn’t need to as the daughter was innocent. I informed the mother I wasn’t sleeping with her and if I got checked so did the daughter.
we had already done so months before. But what the mother doesn’t know ![]()
I slightly misread that and thought you meant that you were sleeping with them both ![]()
Maybe there is a mistype or an extra word in there, but got the gist in the end.
Re-typed, hope it reads better and thanks for helping me out @Simon_101
I get tested every 2 months as not every STI shows up on tests immediately after playing with a new partner, so you can still have two people that test negative, play with each other a couple weeks later, and still test positive for something. I expect my play partners to also get regularly tested in some form. Better safe than sorry. I’ve managed to get through over a decade of playing around with only one single positive test that was promptly treated while asymptomatic.
Only trouble is once you have caught herpes thats it as there is no cure. My sister caught it while she was in her thirties, now in her sixties and she gets flare ups every couple of months. Think she caught it from a boyfriend who was cheating on her with a transgender woman.
Yeah absolutely. In the U.K. it’s free, so definitely worth getting a check up for peace of mind.
I used to ask the guy to get checked for every new relationship I was in. I myself would get my doctor to test me a few times a year. Now I am married I don’t bother about it because I know hubby and I are only with each other (I also asked him to get tested when we first started dating). No reason to not get it done, it’s straight forward and easy enough.
Why on earth did the doctor shove her whole hand in? That sounds horrible. I have had them use a couple of fingers or a speculum but not the whole fist. I would have been horrified.