Secluded Holiday Cottage

In the past people have given recommendations for sexy hotels and even dungeons. I need a recommendation for a very secluded holiday cottage type place.

Basically I'm looking for somewhere with private grounds suitable for us to go outside, take off all our clothes and please ourselves, without any fear of being overseen. We don't want anywhere where we have to "sneak around" for fear of being caught, or just drop my trousers for a quickie, we want somewhere we can really strip off and take our time.

This has been a longtime fantasy of mine and Mrs A has agreed as long as we can find a suitable place.

So, we need somewhere either very secluded, or somewhere with a really private garden. Has anyone ever rented a place like this? Any recommendations?

Your best bet is going to be Airbnb.

Plenty of places will advertise a secluded garden!
The more remote the location the better again!

Have fun hunting!

You are going to have to do a bit of research here. The OH and I booked a Scottish cottage which was just under a mile from the nearest other dwellings.

turned out to be the lodge house for the local graveyard which had been converted to a holiday let!

Day one, a piper leading the funeral procession walked by the bedroom window.

Have you considered hiring a canal boat? Or similar?

You can then take it along the canal/river and find a spot which looks perfect for you. 

Just be sure to moor up on the non-footpath side! ;) 

Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

Have you considered hiring a canal boat? Or similar?

You can then take it along the canal/river and find a spot which looks perfect for you.

Just be sure to moor up on the non-footpath side! ;)

That is an amazing idea👍 Hmmm time to start looking at hiring a narrow boat.....

Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

Have you considered hiring a canal boat? Or similar?

You can then take it along the canal/river and find a spot which looks perfect for you.

Just be sure to moor up on the non-footpath side! ;)

Love, love, love this idea!

Definitely added to the bucket list

Ah awesome! 

Just don't forget to take a couple of wind breaks or a gazebo with you just in case you need some extra coverage :) 

The secluded cottage was what my ex-wife and I did for our honeymoon, many years ago. We found a cottage in southern Normandy, 20 kilometres away from the nearest place to buy bread and milk, on the shore of a small lake, with a garden that had twenty foot high hedges around three sides. It was July, and we spent two weeks basically lying naked reading and having sex on the grass. It was bliss. So yeah, I'd thoroughly recommend it.

Scottish highlands you can't get much more remote in the UK and some have lovely sea views might be seen by a few seals but sex on your own beach would be amazing.

Have a look at isle of rona. Only 3 holiday cottages on the whole island and we were the only ones when we went. A bit nippy mind but an entire island virtually to yourself

Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

Have you considered hiring a canal boat? Or similar?

You can then take it along the canal/river and find a spot which looks perfect for you.

Just be sure to moor up on the non-footpath side! ;)

good idea

Ive owned a boat, probably be better hiring a boat on a river though as they are wider :)

Ok so now I will be looking for canal boats on the wrong side of the canal, will know what they are upto now lol

There's lots of countryside places around the country. Quite a lot of secluded places have outdoor hot tubs as well which are always fun

Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

Have you considered hiring a canal boat? Or similar?

You can then take it along the canal/river and find a spot which looks perfect for you.

Just be sure to moor up on the non-footpath side! ;)

This is a good idea - but for the sake of 'being correct' - mooring on the non towpath side on the canals is very much frowned upon as it is normally a farmers private land, or private moorings (sorry to be a bore).

I am not sure of the policies on rivers etc though

Xxx

Wouldn't "the queens chain" apply to rivers?

Here in NZ, no one can own the waterways, or up to the high tide mark, they are all crown land. Given rivers aren't tidal, not sure how that would apply.

but love the idea of a secluded spot for totally uninhibited freedom. Would have to be a very tropical climate for Mrs Sen to ditch the robes though

lovingnewtoys wrote:

Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

Have you considered hiring a canal boat? Or similar?

You can then take it along the canal/river and find a spot which looks perfect for you.

Just be sure to moor up on the non-footpath side! ;)

This is a good idea - but for the sake of 'being correct' - mooring on the non towpath side on the canals is very much frowned upon as it is normally a farmers private land, or private moorings (sorry to be a bore).

I am not sure of the policies on rivers etc though

Xxx

Definitely double check, but in many areas the area around rivers and canals is no man's land. 

We haven't come across this being frowned upon ourselves (it would be more likely to be an issue if it was treated as a semi-permanent mooring on a reglar basis though as it can damage the banks/wildelife habitats.) 

As far as I know there is no law against mooring on the "wrong" side, and I believe even if the land IS private, the "issue" falls under Civil Trespassing legislation. Basically, as long as you cause no damage (take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints) and are not in anyone's way, there's nothning anyone can do. It's about using common sense and being respectful. 

At the most British Waterways MAY ask you to move along, but they tend to patrol Mon-Fri 9-5 so weekends would be fine. 

Let's just say my bf lives on a boat and we've never had any problems ;) 

As you say though, always worth checking it out if you're unsure :) 

Senator wrote:

Wouldn't "the queens chain" apply to rivers?

Here in NZ, no one can own the waterways, or up to the high tide mark, they are all crown land. Given rivers aren't tidal, not sure how that would apply.

but love the idea of a secluded spot for totally uninhibited freedom. Would have to be a very tropical climate for Mrs Sen to ditch the robes though

I was trying to find something on this!

I remember reading a few years ago that (something like) 3 miles/yards/something either side of any river or canal is classed as "no man's land" in the UK. This is why you often get off-grid living sites in these areas. 

I'm not sure if this is still the case though as I can't seem to find much info on it online.