Fluffbags is 100% right. Sick to death of women feeling they have to put their partners' egos before their own sexual satisfaction. A sex toy is a masturbatory tool, no more of a threat to a relationship than porn, and if a dude can't handle competition from a piece of rubber or plastic then he ain't mature enough to be fucking me anyway.
Yes, relationships are about compromise and some guys can feel threatened by sex toys... That's their problem to fix though. It's the attitude that's the problem, not the toy.
Well I think you know me well enough to know that I stand by equal rights and completely agree men and women have jealousy over silly things and whats good for one is good for the other, simples. (Went all meercat did ya see that! :D) but i wrote my rants based on the thread and it being this way around. If it was a guy coming here saying his GF went nuts coz he was wanking to porn I would have the exact same views
Howeverrrrr, now I have calmed down I do see that is is probably essential that things get brought up slowly. In my opinion its easy to do at the start of a relationship where you can tell each other your sexual desires and if you are not compatible at all you can walk away.
However if you start to change a few years in, and develop new desires that your partner does not share its pretty hard to know what to do. Simply 4 options. 1) Give up on your desires and go without 2) Some kind of compromise with your partner 3) Do it anway/Cheat and lie 4) If you are totally unhappy....walk away. Life isnt that simple but thats pretty much the four choices you have.
Now I can understand things like anal, BDSM etc being potential problems, as you said Ork, more extreme. but masturbation? Something you did way before you met your partner most probably and found ways which you enjoy the most wether its toys or porn or whatever, why should that be taken away from anyone?
If someone is masturbating alone, its out of sight. Its not effecting the other partner (In other words they are not having to watch the porn or use the dildo on their partner) So it isnt about "I dont want to watch porn or use that dildo on you" then. Its about "I dont want to think that you are watching porn/using that dildo behind my back" thats the reason I think selfish because everyone masturbates and if your partner does it in a way you dont like then.....well I dont know but who is anyone to say "Dont do that" when it doesnt effect them at all (Aside from emotional jealousy which is not warranted)
We are back to the age old incompatibility thing again really. You got to find someone who is into the same things you are, or put up and shut up. You cant force someone to like something but nor should you not be allowed to masturbate as you want to alone.
Why? Is the assumption that if this rubber object can stretch her vagina slightly wider than your penis can that she will suddenly sack you off, marry the dildo and live happily ever after?
Its stupid, but yes.
As I said, it makes no sense, but its not a fight worth winning.
and if a dude can't handle competition from a piece of rubber or plastic then he ain't mature enough to be fucking me anyway.
Well shelly, thats your choice, but I'm not convinced the original poster wants to break up over this....
"Well shelly, thats your choice, but I'm not convinced the original poster wants to break up over this...."
Even if she doesn't, her options are more than pandering to his fragile ego. She should stand her ground. It's an inaminate object that increases her pleasure. If he's threatened by her pleasure that is bad bad bad news. His attitude is archaic and irrational and she shouldn't have to compromise her sexuality for him. There is a compromise to be made here, but he is the one who should be doing most of it, not her.