So for years and years since i was a teenager when I first started playing with myself..it's always been fingers on clit done in 60 seconds..no messing around just straight to it.. I have very few toys for myself..but even then my partner uses them on me and has amazing results especially from my happy rabbit 2 ....but if I try to do it to myself ..I can't come for ages and end up using the happy rabbit as a clit stimulator..or get my trusty bullet and glass dildo out.. i have had little vaginal orgasms with my partner but I can't seem to give myself one..and I really tried with the happy rabbit 40 mins I tried and I was just frustrated..but 2 minutes in my partners hand and it blows my mind..how can I learn to pleasure myself? Any toys I could try? Xx
It may be that one of your strongest turn ons is being stimulated by another person, so you could try using the toy on yourself whilst they are with you and they stimulate other areas, such as your nipples and kissing you? Then if that works, you may be able to learn to climax with a toy by youself.
I think you might have got so used to masturbating in a certain way that now nothing else compares, it's like when a man masturbates too often it can take longer for you to make them finish during sex because they're used to certain sensations! I think you need to take some time exploring yourself in new ways and find new things that work for you, there's some really great clit stimulators on here and I'd recommend trying one out to see if that helps xx
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=12201 seems to have good reviews!
I would say slow down and take some time. I like to use my over active immagination when playing with myself, works every time. I agree with Curiouser&&curiouser, try getting your partner to touch other areas of you while you're feeling around and getting aroused.
I can have small orgasms with my fingers but I normally use my wand if I really want to get going and explode. I wouldn't think there's a woman alive that couldn't explode using a wand! x
Thanks so much for your replies..they lead me on to another issue I have which is I can't play with myself in front of my partner (yes I know he would love it if I did) i am very very shy in the bedroom. In fact I don't relax until i am blindfolded!!! But thanks so much for your answers. I will look at clit toys and taking time out to explore myself...xx
Oh don't worry about that. That will come in time honestly. I was like that for years with my OH.. You need to feel completely comfortable when playing with yourself and you need to do this at your own pace.
I wasn't always the way I am now, a great deal has changed with me and my body. But I'm comfortable at last playing with my OH watching, lights on/off. I can lob out a tit and start playing with it with him watching and then let him join in. It's a confidence thing and that will come in time. Don't rush yourself! You need to explore all of you, what turns you on and what doesn't. Blindfolded is good, and seeing what toys are out beforehand might help too. You could always play on your body together, have you tried that?
I've got lots of toys, but my big wand has been the best toy I have ever bought, it never lets me down!
xx :)
I have a mini wand but it's soon noisy we don't use it. I should when the kids are at school maybe..I call it my wand of orgasms hehe ..thanks all very much xxx
Mummymermaid - I have found that certain toys feel better when a partner uses them on me because I can actually relax and just enjoy vs controlling the thrusting / setting etc. so that could be part of it.
Part of this too may be a mindset you have inserting toys and trying to orgasm without your partner?
Have you ever tried watching yourself in a mirror with a toy, I find that be a big turn on.
I sometimes look in a mirror too, it kind of feels like your're watching your own personal porno!😜
Oh yes I do like the mirror..I just ignore the body parts that I have a problem with! lol.....
I have done little bvids too of playing with myself and play them back maybe the next time! Or send it to the OH. He get's a hard on at work at his desk...cheeky! x
Luv bunny wrote:
I sometimes look in a mirror too, it kind of feels like your're watching your own personal porno!😜
Vanessa8 wrote:
Mummymermaid - I have found that certain toys feel better when a partner uses them on me because I can actually relax and just enjoy vs controlling the thrusting / setting etc. so that could be part of it.
Part of this too may be a mindset you have inserting toys and trying to orgasm without your partner?
Have you ever tried watching yourself in a mirror with a toy, I find that be a big turn on.
I never even thought of that...mind you I don't think i am very sexy so that's possibly why ^^ I think i am focused too much on this g-spot thing and coming the vaginal way..and I can have blended and vaginal with my partner..without squirting ..I should be happy and just chill.out and enjoy what I can do alone and maybe it will come? In time..just get to know my body..all this is still pretty new..overwhelming a little..I want it all hehe xxx
Ozz wrote:
Oh yes I do like the mirror..I just ignore the body parts that I have a problem with! lol.....
I have done little bvids too of playing with myself and play them back maybe the next time! Or send it to the OH. He get's a hard on at work at his desk...cheeky! x
Ooh naughty ^^ hmm a video..my partner did one for me with one of the realistic vaginas..I love it..I could try be brave maybe because I am doing something like that for him might help me along xxx
mummymermaid wrote:
Thanks so much for your replies..they lead me on to another issue I have which is I can't play with myself in front of my partner (yes I know he would love it if I did) i am very very shy in the bedroom. In fact I don't relax until i am blindfolded!!! But thanks so much for your answers. I will look at clit toys and taking time out to explore myself...xx
if you know what time oh will be back at leave him a little note eg "in the bedroom, come watch" and leave the blindfold on and play, and a bit of excitement because you wont know if he is watching or not if he is quite
Oooh...nice idea. May need wine/rum to do it but its doable..thanks xxxhihowareyou wrote:
mummymermaid wrote:
Thanks so much for your replies..they lead me on to another issue I have which is I can't play with myself in front of my partner (yes I know he would love it if I did) i am very very shy in the bedroom. In fact I don't relax until i am blindfolded!!! But thanks so much for your answers. I will look at clit toys and taking time out to explore myself...xx
if you know what time oh will be back at leave him a little note eg "in the bedroom, come watch" and leave the blindfold on and play, and a bit of excitement because you wont know if he is watching or not if he is quite
hihowareyou wrote:
mummymermaid wrote:
Thanks so much for your replies..they lead me on to another issue I have which is I can't play with myself in front of my partner (yes I know he would love it if I did) i am very very shy in the bedroom. In fact I don't relax until i am blindfolded!!! But thanks so much for your answers. I will look at clit toys and taking time out to explore myself...xx
if you know what time oh will be back at leave him a little note eg "in the bedroom, come watch" and leave the blindfold on and play, and a bit of excitement because you wont know if he is watching or not if he is quite
Oh my...why have I not done that? That sounds like a wonderful idea and I will try it out this coming week! Getting him to come to the bedroom, dam that's a horny idea.
It is all about relaxing and feeling comfortable in your own skin huni you're right, I think you're doing fantastic so far. Onwards and upwards as they say. x
Be bold, be brave, but most of all...have lots of fun x
Ruby Red Slippers wrote:
This book may be worth a try: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34290
Oooh I like the sound of this...but no reviews and out of stock..which is a shame! Added to wishlist anyways ..thanks huni xx
Some good advice on this thread. Hope you find something that works for you x