Sex after child birth

Hi there ladies and gents. Looking for some advice. Iv not had sex since having my little girl and she’s 15months old. Any advice on how to get back into it and how to pull off being on top or using sexy clothing as I have no idea and I find I have no rhythm on top either :cry:please please help

Thank you

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Try not to overthink it! Just be you!
You partner loves you I’m guessing as you have had a baby together.
My partner was the same.
Nothing changed but the fact we were now also mum and dad to a little one

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Comment from my wife: “First of all be comfortable together. Let your partner know that you might feel different things than before the pregnancy. Certain positions might not be as nice as before or might even hurt. But maybe other positions are now even better than ever. Discover your positions together again, take time and use lube if necessary. Stuff might be just a bit more sensitive. And on top of that, take into account that your muscles (belly, pelvic floor) might need some exercise again, since they have been through a lot. Take it easy and don’t overdo it. Enjoy your ‘first’ time together again!”


Hi, welcome back to the forum. I’d suggest starting with solo sessions to kick start your sex drive and reacquaint yourself with your body. What turns you on may have changed since having your child. For example, I remember years ago after my son was born I couldn’t bear my husband touching my nipples, but prior to having my baby, I couldn’t get enough! :grin:

In terms of getting in the mood too, take a look at Lovehoney’s vast lingerie section and see if there’s anything you fancy. I recently bought a bodystocking and I feel amazing wearing it, it’s a fab confidence boost.

Being on top can be awkward. It’s only recently I’ve been more into this position and I still need my husband to help thrust. Getting the rhythm I think takes practise (I’m still getting used to it) but it’s not the end of the world if you decide it’s not doing it for you and you need to change position.

I like to fantasise a lot during the day, especially when I’m bored. It arouses me well before actually getting to sex. I find I’m much more up for it and ready to go :+1: Perhaps you might find fantasising useful? Or maybe reading some erotica or listening to sexy podcasts?


@The_lady_in_pink in my experience I think it’s normal to be out of touch after having a baby and very common the demand of the north of you is very high . I would say take you time and try to be spontaneous and seek the moment when you can there’s no one size fits all. Good luck hope you get back on the horse so to speak good luck :crossed_fingers:

We were well over a year following the birth of our last child (in fact it was a similar story for both of them).

We found just diving back in was what worked. No expectations of it being like before, having to figure out again what works and what doesn’t. Wife took a fair while before she was comfortable flouncing round in lingerie and bondage gear again, but we took it slow and it came back eventually.

Just make a start, no matter how small the steps.

Wear something nice which makes you feel a bit sexy but comfortable too.
If that means having something to cover your belly while to sit on top of him, go for it.

Also, 15 months is a long time.
It’s natural to feel a it worried after what our body has been through but you definitely should be well healed now if you’ve had limited complications.

Don’t think too much into it, go with the flow and follow wherever your mood takes you :wink:

Take it slow…I had a section which didn’t go as planned recovery wise. Took me best part of a year to feel ok just having foreplay.
As said things that worked before didn’t worked after kids, and it took a while to adjust to a “new” body. I used to really get upset over it, and I won’t lie many tears have been shed being frustrated at myself for not being able to relax and have sex like I used to.
Now we just enjoy it for whatever we can get, still isn’t what it was, but it’s nice in a different way, and actually we’ve discovered other things we like/dislike and are able to open up more than pre kids. Some days penetration doesn’t happen, we just enjoy a foreplay session. Other times we get a quick PIV with lots of cuddling/kissing after.

It’s probably going to be a little bit different but it’s going to be great. Take it slowly, find some lingerie or even a little black dress you feel sexy in (you won’t even have to take it off if you don’t want to but it might help you feel more confident) and go for it. After you’ll probably wonder why you were so worried.

Good luck

For us it was a fun time, as we were back to experimenting and trying new things. At the time she would struggle to orgasm via penetration, although it was good fun trying. We discovered toys, especially vibrators for clitoral stimulation and she loved it, and its still part of our foreplay.
Take your time, have fun and enjoy discovering each other again.
And oh, lube could well be your new best friend

Yes I agree about lube, there’s lots I hate, particularly the smell, but I did find I LOVE menthol balm… Smell alone gets me ravenous :sweat_smile::rofl: