I reckon that any resolution from your side will need the acceptance that sexual fluids are OK.
They are clean, beautiful even, they dont hurt anyone. They can even create life!!! If someone finds traces of them, so what? We all have masturbatory and sexual habits.
We all do it. Its healthy.
It sounds like you’re taking the right steps with some counselling. A lot of what you will get out of it depends of what you yourself put and invest in it.
No your concern isn’t normal, but you already know it, and are trying to address it.
There are lots of things we’re better off not knowing.
We’d like to think everything is surgically clean around us, but it isn’t. Yet we’re all alive, we aren’t sick, and when we come ourselves into contact with something and don’t know about it, there’s no impact.
It would be exactly the same if someone came into contact with something from you. They wouldn’t know better, and they would be absolutely fine.
I’m sorry to read you worry so much about it all. I hope you find the path to come to terms with it.
Thank you, this has really helped alot in keeping my mind calmer recently with all this ongoing stress at the moment.
I think my main worry about it is like people coming in to contact with them, then not washing there hands etc and then going to do something like eating, drinking etc. I think thats a part of it that is making me feel disgusted about them and is possibly a reason why i feel like everything is potentially contaminated, as im worried it could be on stuff like bottles, food etc
I know in my head and in truth that nothing is, but i think its just that voice in my head and the instrusive thoughts kicking in as per usual
Im hoping the CBT does help, im awaiting a responce as my recent diagnosis of PTSD is changing my care plan
This worry stems from something that you need to figure out to be able to have a bappy and healthy sex life. Bc sex is messy, if its done right Your bodily fluids will end up on the partner that you choose and theirs will be on you, and neither are disgusting.
I hope you start the therapy soon, it will likely be confronting for you and journalling will help. I always find the putting them in writing (or even just typing it in my phone note section) takes the thoughts out of my head. Acknowledge the thoughts and then move on, type of thing.
I have so much sympathy here. It’s always such a struggle to understand these things or at least I find it so. For many years I struggled to enjoy sex or any kind of intimacy. I think in my case years of poorly delivered sex education combined with an already anxious mind led to a place where I was absolutely convinced that every time I was intimate with anyone I’d catch some form of incurable std despite taking every sensible precaution. Even now I’d struggle not to buy extra safe condoms if it were for a new partner.
In my case therapy for my wider anxiety certainly helped bring some perspective. Perhaps talking it through with someone and exploring wider thoughts may help… all the best
Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. I at one point (well still do) was showing signs of OCD, I was boderline so not officially diagnosed.
Mine is driven by anxiety, and the higher my anxiety the worse the symptoms show, my checking increases, doors and my hand break are big ones, also the cooker, i would have to keep checking them.
I dont have huge knowledge on contamination OCD but just wanted to say, CBT will definitely help, it make take several goes, so keep pushing your GP if things dont resolve, also talking therapy is fantastic, probably through psychology, you will soon learn you are not alone, and more importantly that its just our silly brains working overtime, you can definitely regain control. Intrusive thoughts are a pain! But you can control them eventually, mine still pop up but I can ignore them for the most part.
In the meantime, I would agree with others and use a condom, maybe section off an area in your room or the bathroom to carry things out, you could put a dark towel/blanket down so you can see no fluids have spilled or worse case if they do, you can wash that item.
Challenge yourself also, CBT will come with exposure therapy, so you will eventually push yourself to do something, then after you will see that actually, nothing happens, but that takes time.
Regarding a relationship, dont worry about that at the minute, concentrate on your therapy and then you’ll be ready when the time comes.
I find mindfulness so helpful, also giving my OCD a name, which sounds really bizarre. I call my OCD brain “Aragog” (don’t ask) and if Aragog starts nagging at me, I give him a very firm “shut up, Aragog”. The other thing that really helps is getting some time outside everyday, at least 15 minutes, and walking around, not just standing under the porch.