Just out of interest, if your new partner admitted they had a sex blog, what would you think? I'm especially interested in what men think. It's just that I have one but haven't yet admitted it to any guy, well haven't had the need! Would you be put off or turned on? What kind of content is good or bad?
I think I'd find it hot if my new bloke had one, though if his content was too out there it could be a problem.
It would depend on what type of relationship I was in really. I do not think I would enjoy reading about a new partners previous exploits but if the blog was told to me during introduction then it could be interesting. But then who is going to say they have sex blog on the first date.
In some of my relationships with women I would have quite happily let another man into our bed and enjoyed watching, other times it would be a total no no.
Very much a context thing.
P.S. can we see the blog? Ha Ha.
I have one, and my blokey knows about it, he rather likes the fact that I write naughty stuff down (and even shared some naughty pics recently lol), but that is in a long term relationship, dunno what men would think if I were still dating around *shrug*
I read a lot of sex blogs (and have just started a 'dating' blog with my GBF!!) and I think the general etiquette is thus: Sleep with them a few times and blog about it in general terms. Reveal existence of blog. Ask permission to write about said person on blog. Offer to show person blog.
Hopefully what should happen is that the person will be open-minded enough not to mind as long as their anonymity is preserved, and all will be well. But it raises a lot of questions.
Since a blog is a place for you to write about your feelings and experiences, is your writing going to be coloured by knowing that your partner is reading the blog? Would you subconsciously censor? And in that case, is it better to keep it a secret altogether, knowing that you're not doing any harm?
Personally, if a guy I was seeing told me he had a sex blog, I would ask for the link but not look. I couldn't read about a bf's past sexual experiences, and I'm not sure I'd want to know what he was saying about me. But at the same time, I'd want to know that I could look if I wanted. Does that even make any sense?
I wouldn't be put off at all, I'd be quite pleased that he was a writer first of all, and secondly, that he has a similar level of interest in sex to me! In fact, a boy with a sex blog is EXACTLY what I need.
Content-wise, you're right, imelda - I think if the content was particularly fetishy I might be a little weirded out, but I'd be more worried if it was disrespectful, you know? If it showed a hint of misogyny or disrespect, or had a 'player' theme.
Hmm - interesting question...
First off, I enjoy people who are open and frank about sex and what excites them. I think if I met someone socially I'd be intrigued to find out they had a blog. Even more so if I fancied them. So for my part I'd prefer to find out straight away in the general chit-chat in the pub stage. Then I'd rush off and read all about their exploits. If their predilictions were not to my taste I'd go no further and be able to avoid the potential pitfal of having started a relationship only to discover a side to them I disliked. And if their blog was full of horny stuff I've always loved then great - I've found a match without having to go through all the coy manouvers and skirting of subjects when people are being initially guarded about their sex tastes for fear of offence.
The other fabulous benefit is that if you have a deep and secret yearning for something but were always too embarresed or nervous to ask a partner to do it (lots of people are in this state!) you can far more easily discover who else has the same tastes and who you can thus talk openly about it with.
I'd be turned on if I was blogged about - it'd likely encourage me to be more outrageous to improve the story. An element of competition would likely ensue
The blog is here http://imelda-imelda.blogspot.com.
Thanks everyone for your answers, it's really interesting what you have to say. Personally I wouldn't blog about without telling them (unless a one night thing). Mine is more stories and general experiences (along with photos/ videos etc and fun stuff on the web). I think if I had an other half, I would want him involved in the blog to whatever extent he was comfortable with. I think it depends on what you blog about, many of the things mentioned above don't apply to mine.
So to ask another question, what blogs do you read regularly?
I quite fancy doing a private sex blog, just for me, cos then I could write what I want in detail. But if I did a public one I don't think I'd be brave enough to tell the bloke!
I'd probably do it under an assumed name, and change details, so the sex was the same, but 'character' names and descriptions were different. So a fictional blog based on fact I suppose. I've considered it before actually. Just never got round to setting up a livejournal!
That said I have two blogs already (one for telling people about my life, one for my uni course).
Ohhh, liking your blog imelda!
I have a regular blog, and then my naughty one about sex on Livejournal - we have two kids so names are changed to initials etc. It's all true, but just anon :)
Mine's here, I don't yet read many as I am pretty new to this whole sex blog thing: http://mz-minx.livejournal.com/
I think you should Crayola! It's good fun! Mine is obviously completely anonymous. It's a shame, because I can't show my face here but I do enjoy it. Thanks PA, I'm off to read yours now.
See, I don't have that choice as all my blogging is done under my real name!! But my sex blog is fictional - I don't blog about my real sex life. And my personal blog is just superficial stuff and information about my writing.
That causes me enough problems when it comes to new relationships as guys get the wrong idea! Luckily the new fella is somewhat open-minded, and although we haven't slept together yet, I'm sure everything will be just fine!
Hi Imelda
Love the blog BTW. I see a slight problem. Anonymity is obviousy fairly important for you to be able to be uninhibited in your blog as you blog is clearly not a work of fiction (otherwise the Sin Flute demo deserves an Oscar!). If you are starting out on a new relationship its obviously not possible to know if its going to last. By telling someone early on that you have this blog you are potentially undermining that anonymity. If the relationship breaks up, especially acrimoniously, then there is a good chance you cover will be blown. About all you could do to avoid this is say that you have a blog but not say which one. Not ideal but the only workable idea I have.
Otherwise, if you do end up in a long-term relationship it would get tricky to explain why, say 12 months in, you didn't mention anything about your blog before. However, I would reckon you would only be really happy with someone who would be really turned-on and happy about your blog so, possibly, it would work out OK.