Hi I feel that I have a very high sex drive and always wants sex and to try new things, but my partner doesn't...what should I do?
Get a new partner.... Joke!
How long have you guys been together? Have your sex drives always been mismatched or is it a recent thing?
We have been together nearly 2 years, and I guess they have but I'm getting sexually frustrated now whereas he's not. Also he can't seem to make me orgasm and I feel this is a problem :/
We have been together nearly 2 years, and I guess they have but I'm getting sexually frustrated now whereas he's not. Also he can't seem to make me orgasm and I feel this is a problem :/
Have you told him that you are feeling frustrated? Does he know that you are not reaching orgasm? and do you know what he needs to do different to get you there?
Yeah I've told him how I feel and he got annoyed, I've brought toys for us both to use and he said he doesn't want to
Yeah I've told him how I feel and he got annoyed, I've brought toys for us both to use and he said he doesn't want to
Hi Little Miss,
If you want to try new things, you could always get a sexy game to play together. This one is very popular and may help put some spice back:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=662
A few ideas to set the scene could be a romatic meal with candles, a sexy massage or a bath/shower together. Then suggest playing the game - who knows where it may lead... :) xx
Oh dear, that's a real shame. If he really isn't willing to compromise then that leaves you with some fairly rubbish options I guess. either make your peace with the way things are and accept you won't be getting the sex you ant any time soon. Maybe invest in lots of new toys for yourself so you at least get some satisfcation.
Or maybe have a think about whether or not him not being willing to make changes is going to be a deal breaker for you.
Me and my hubby had mismatched sex drives for years, it was him that wanted more though and for various reasons I was miles behind him. I did always try though and I always listened to him. Now thankfully I have caught up, or maybe overtaken his desire. Has he given you any reasons as to why he won't try the toys and why he gets annoyed with the conversation?
No he's just being really stubborn about that whole situation and says all I do is moan :/ which is not true I just want us to be the strong couple we were, this is causing us to argue all the time and thank you scoripius x
No he's just being really stubborn about that whole situation and says all I do is moan :/ which is not true I just want us to be the strong couple we were, this is causing us to argue all the time and thank you scoripius x
Have you thought about writing it all down for him to read, sometimes it's easy for things to get a bit heated when you talk it out, especially when it is a sore subject for one or both of you. Maybe if you took some time to write your thoughts out he would be able to digest it better and think about what you are saying.
It sounds like it isn't just about the actual amount and quality of sex but also the intimacy and strength that brings with it. he may not be getting that point.
I know sometimes when my husband mentioned that he would like us to have more sex I often felt attacked, what I wasn;t hearing was that he missed the closeness and the intimacy not just the physical act. Do you think your OH might feel that way too?
As a male myself, the only thing that comes to mind is there might be something making him feel threatened, for want of a better word. Him not being able to make you climax very easily and springing a new idea like the use of toys could seem a bit of a big step to come to terms with and its caused the refusal and stubbourness.
I'd personally like my partner to show me what she likes and what would make her cum, then work off that and slowly introduce toys and new ideas.
As for the high sex drive, more masturbation could help that, but in another way could make it harder for you and your partner.
Yeah writing my thoughts down but be a good idea, as I've tried talking nicely with him. I want the closeness like your husband wanted back.
AnonyX from a mans point of view you don't feel he's gone off me do you? He doesn't seem to and he's still very loving towards me but this keep going though my mind :/
Yeah writing my thoughts down but be a good idea, as I've tried talking nicely with him. I want the closeness like your husband wanted back.
AnonyX from a mans point of view you don't feel he's gone off me do you? He doesn't seem to and he's still very loving towards me but this keep going though my mind :/
I can't personally say if he has gone off you. If he's still showing you love and affection beyond the bedroom then I can't see that he has.
The idea of writing things down for him could help a great deal, he might not feel as pressured or on the spot so could give clearer better answered and help understand each other more than currently.
Okay then thank you
Okay then thank you
Is this a new thing or have you always had a higher sex drive than him? Just wondering if it is a recent thing and is there an underlying issue like stress, depression etc.
A lot of people on here have admitted to having mismatched sex drives to their partners. Unfortunately the continued theme seems to be that if communication between the two partners had not solved the issue then buying lots of toys to satisfy yourself seems to be the main option.