Sex Happiness Talk, but openly?

How is everyone?
I’m intrigued to know how everyone here received their sex education in school if they remember? Was it in school, or college or from parents?
Were you happy with it, did you feel it was discussed honestly and openly?
Where do you wish you had received it , and when do you think you got a good handle and understanding on things ?

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I’m 18 so I remember my sex education pretty well, it was when I was about 12 in primary school that sex ed was first given to us, at that age it was pretty basic- it was mostly about periods and hormones and hardly about sex except what they absolutely had to tell us.

In secondary school we had further sex education, we were never taught about anything other than penis-in-vagina sex, there was focus on protecting against STIs and asking for consent. I remember first learning that trans people existed in a sex ed class though, although I’m not sure that was strictly on the curriculum, I very much respect the teacher who brought up trans issues to all of us.

I was never taught anything which pertained to my experience as a lesbian, I had to learn all of that myself at a later date, I wasn’t taught that sex didn’t have to involve a penis or that I could still catch STIs. I wasn’t taught about asexuality and there was no discussion of sex for the purposes of pleasure.

I’m lucky to have accepting and sex-positive parents who never instilled any bigoted beliefs in me, but I think some of the lads in school would have benefited from a more inclusive sex education which actually dared to discuss gay sex, maybe they would’ve turned out better for it.

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Nothing in primary school at all.

Very very basic in secondary school in the 2nd year (the now year 8)

No diagrams just a basic chat about erections…periods and PIV sex resulting in pregnancy…no STIs…and a little about contraception. Only male female sex too… It was in biology and it lasted about 2 lessons.

This was back in the 80’s.

Learnt most from finding out myself and talking to others. My mother didn’t tell me anything either not even about periods…

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Haha I remember watching a video at 11.

The next sex Ed we had was in senior school, boys and girls were taught separately but it was a pretty basic “you grow hair, here is a willy, here is a boob and a vagina” the teacher passed around one condom and one femdom in their packets. I distinctly remember this female teacher telling us not to “do it up the bum” as females never get anything from it and its all for the man.

So no, sex ed in late 90’s early 2000’s explained nothing!

**edit my parents were equally coy and when we’d had sex Ed my mum got me a book from the library to ensure I understood what had been said, no more info than that… Then the Internet happened!

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We had sex Ed around year 8. This was in the 90s. There was lots of focus on the biology of PIV sex and nothing about other type, emotions or anything vaguely non-hetero. There was also a very very strong message around STIs to the extent that for years it almost prevented an enjoyment of sex as I was terrified I would contract something. For too much focus on how bad it could be rather that clarity on the risks and how much fun could be had with appropriate precautions.

I was hugely unprepared for the emotional side of sex and all the fun that can be found away from PIV.

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No proper sex education at school, no family talk either.

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SNAP! My experience too.

I was born in 1958, so my schooling was from 1963 - 74. Never a word about it in the curriculum, and my parents would sooner have doused themselves with petrol and lit a match than admit that sex existed.

One curious side-effect of this was that when puberty hit, with me being bisexual, as an 11-12year-old I just assumed that everybody fancied both girls and boys like I did, and that men and women only got married in order to procreate. It came as quite a shock to realise that most of the boys in my all-male school were only interested in girls. Never mind: I soon got to know which ones weren’t. Happy days! :yum:

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In highschool mainly and little bits in primary. I thought it was abysmal to what I came to learn growing up. It mainly focused on procreation and STIs. Just wear a condom for PIV sex, basically.

Didn’t really mention other forms of contraceptives or other types of sex. I didn’t know about the implant until I went to the clinic looking for the Pill. My mind was blown, haha.

I don’t think I’ve really spoke to family about it as that was more geared towards period talk.

While I think the teachings were honest, it just felt like they holding back on other important things. Like they didn’t want to talk about it. Here’s your basic answer, now go away. There is just so much more to sex than “penis goes in vagina to make baby” :unamused: I’m still learning new things at 30.

I think it should be as open as possible. I want people to know about sex and their own bodies like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Like don’t drink bleach or always wear sunscreen when you go to the beach type of thing.

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Loved the phrase

“And out pops the babies head”

Yeah like too right…

No talk about episiotomy… stitches… piles… blood loss for weeks on end…and wondering if you’d ever be able to pee without it being agony…dreading needing a number 2…never mind an erect penis fitting in there EVER again…

:exploding_head:

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I grew up with catholic parents, and I was kept home when sex Ed was happening. My parents never discussed periods, sex, contraception nothing. I remember starting my period and thinking I must be dying! I told my dad I was bleeding and he got me some towels and told me wear them once a month! No reason why nothing!
Trauma happened to me and I had no idea what it was or what to do, speaking to a friend and she explained what happened, it was before we had the internet! After it was outed my parents still discussed nothing!!
Now I’m a parent, my eldest knows about periods and that she can ask any of us for help, we already tell them that There is no wrong with love, that we’d love them regardless of there sexuality.

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My sex ed happened in High School… already after having intercourse a few times. I had a very angry female teacher leading the class and the gist of the entire thing was “penises are bad news, be a lesbian”. So needless to say, I was not happy with it, nor was it informative and through enough to cover safety and pleasure. i had to learn the hard way through hands on experience. I couldn’t talk to my parents about it either. Very hush hush religious types and this wasn’t something you talk about at all.

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Our school must have been quite forward thinking. We had sex education at junior school when we were about 9 (1973/74). I distinctly remember taking a letter home for my parents to sign giving consent for the class. Some kids of Catholic parents had to sit it out as their parents refused.

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I’m no expert - I only know what I’ve picked up from the media - but what seems to be the big difference these days is that, for secondary school pupils in state schools at least, it’s not really “sex education” any more: it’s taught as part of Citizenship classes, and a good deal of it is about the most important things of all: RESPECT and CONSENT.

None of which, alas, prevents bullies being bullies… some things never change! :roll_eyes: :rage:

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Very basic level stuff in secondary school for me! I think I learned a lot more from watching channel 4 documentaries and stuff :joy:

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We didn’t get any at school because they said the boys were too disruptive so it would be of no benefit! Parents didn’t discuss it either. I actually can’t recall where I ever found out. Although I remember reading one of my mothers Cosmo’s at 12yrs old where it read that one should always use a hand when giving a male a BJ.

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The sex education I got at school ( mid 70’s) was abysmal! They drafted in one of the English teachers…I’ve never seen anyone cringe more than when he mumbled the words ’ penis and vagina’ There was no mention of giving pleasure to each other, it was strictly male/female sexual relations, orgasms weren’t talked about at all. It was almost as though sex wasn’t be enjoyed, it was just for making babies.
There was a kind of obsession with STI’s and unplanned pregnancies. We did get to pass around a condom and watch a long film about STI’s and also a film about childbirth which resulted in a couple of the lads fainting so we never saw any more of that.
Nothing about menopause and the talk on periods was done separately away from the boys and way too late for some of the girls.

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We had PSHE at school and they did a brief thing on sex education but it was definitely aimed more towards PIV sex, pregnancy and condoms. No chat whatsoever about consent or pleasure.

I have to give credit to my parents for their openness with talking about things with me, much to my horror at the time. My Mum told me about periods early on, so when it arrived I knew what it was and how to deal with it (and I got mine very early on, I was still in primary school). She also gave me an age appropriate book which went through the biology side of things and this also had some sex education type stuff in it. As I got older she continued to bring things up in conversation and although at the time I was mortified and refused to speak about stuff with her, it meant I always knew if I did have any questions I knew I could go to her.

In my opinion sex education should be done at a much younger age - by the time we had it most people had already had some kind of sexual interaction! There definitely needs to be more focus on consent and pleasure too. I know this is happening more and so really hope it continues and widens to all schools! Whilst I also believe parents have a responsibility to talk to their children about these things, unfortunately not all children have that and there should be the same access to education regardless of upbringing.

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I couldn’t agree more, and it’s great to hear everyone’s opinions, from psychological aspect 11-13 years old would be a better time to start bringing more facts into light for children in school sexually, but could even start from 6-8 in regards to menstruation anyway . A large proportion of girls start their period before 1o years old and have NO idea what’s going on .

Thank you for your input !

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Yes I can see that usually that is in state/ church funded schools also where they wont allow separate sex education only classes . May I ask where u are, uk / ireland ?

Interesting are u in Ireland or uk ? I’m from ireland and attended a convent- before I was kicked out, so I understand the restraint the kids were put under