Sex what sex

Hi I’m new to this on l’H. How do you get your wife of 15 years back in the same bed and want sex. ???
I’m ashamed to say it’s been probably 3 or 4 years since I’ve had sex with the wife. Solo play is getting uninviting. Even with all the toys I have brought from lovehoney. I’ve toys for her and toys for me toys to use together and for solo play for both of us. But this only worked once. I got her into bed for two nights then I find she’s back on the sofer. She has every excuse. Your to ill. I get disturb wen you wake are child up in the mornings. The mattress needs changing all things that can be resolved apart from me being ill. That’s never going away.
I’m lost and don’t see this changing. Can anyone help.

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How old is your wife as you haven’t stated? You need to give more background of her daily life as it’s hard to give advice, unfortunately no one will jump into bed with you as soon as your ask, if they aren’t feeling it then they aren’t but some questions:

Is she at the menopause stage or pre menopause?

Have you even attempted any open communication outside of the bedroom? When I say communication, being honest, talk without judging or pointing fingers or playing the blame game etc and BOTH have your time to speak and listen.

Is there even any medical problems going on? You mentioned you have a child, many mothers of young kids often get worn out.

As Firecracker89 says, we need a bit more info as to how the current situation arose in the first place.

Of course you may not feel comfortable sharing which is obviously fine, but any advice without this information will be quite generic and probably not very helpful.

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Open up to her and talk.
Just you and her :+1:

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Unburden her load.

Biggest turn on for me is my husband unburdening my load when he is home.

If he’s home he will do the washing, sort the kids, sort the pets etc etc. The only thing he won’t do is cook because I’m super fussy and that’s fine by me!

If the load isn’t shared I get exhausted really quickly and less likely to want sex due to no energy. Even then he will take the lead and satisfy me inspite of himself :heart:

Talk to her, see how you can help change the situation. Does she want the situation to change? Does she still have that desire and spark inside her? How old are the children? Is there anything you can do to help her back to your bed? Have you asked?


Maybe a bit more romance without the pressure of having sex, show her you just enjoy her company and make her feel appreciated.

Just don’t expect instant results, give it some time and good luck!

Have you tried out right saying to her how you feel in that things have gotten distant and you’d like to get the sexy life back in swing?

Tried to talk to her but didn’t get far

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Post removed although I didn’t even get chance to edit it and it was saved automatically saved by the site. I didn’t know that the site did that. Sorry. And what’s trolling??
I’m a real person with real experiences
Thanks for pointing out what had happened with my post

I’ve had to flag your post. Sex starts at 18 on LH, anything under that age is inappropriate to post.

Also I can’t tell if you’re genuine or just trolling.

When we asked to know more, we meant is there anything going on with your wife I.e such as anything medical etc.


Hi first I’m not trolling and not sure what that is. I apologise if something I have written has a fended anyone I had not actually posted that post I stoped while sorting something out with the wife & have only just returned to my phone now. I had left my phone on my pillow while unattended my phone cut off as phone’s normally do. I did not realise that what I had put down would automatically be saved to the site. So again I apologise for my mistake and it will not happen again.