Sexomnia - all the juicy details

Hey everyone,

So my girlfriend and I have established I've got sexomnia, and I'm writing all my experience with it here. It's supposedly very rare (more likely under reported), and is often an unexpected enhancement to nighttime lovin', but is considered a serious problem by some. Anyone else in the same boat?

Before getting into details, sexomnia means performing sexual activities during sleep, to oneself or one's partner, in the same way as sleepwalking. The performing party rarely recalls any of it in the morning, but in some cases may wake during the act. Waking up and catching your subconscious self throwing your SO's underwear off the bed is usually clear evidence. There is another thread here on the topic with some superb posts, particularly by Avrielle_Aniko. It's debated as to whether or not this is considered a disorder - it is unquestionably real, but less clear as to whether it is a standalone disorder or a behaviour under the sleepwalking umbrella term.

Let's get going then. I was 21 this year, am male and studying overseas in China, and have been with my gorgeous girlfriend of 3 years since before arriving there. I only started finding out I may have sexomnia after having lived with my SO for several months - one morning, she told me I had acted strangely during the last night. She had woken up to me dipping under our bedcovers, kissing from her feet slowly up to her waist, and tapped me to ask what I was doing. I stopped momentarily before apparently returning to sleep without a word. I could hardly believe what she was saying since I remembered none of it, but accepted that I must have been doing it in my sleep somehow. She giggled and said not to worry; it was 'cute' of me and said it brightened her morning to recall it.

I would continue to do this about once a week, sometimes more often, sometimes less, also going through phases where I would not do it at all for weeks or a month. Each time the behaviour was similar - I'd be caught in the act passionately kissing her legs, higher and higher until reaching her waist or even underwear seams, and she'd usually wake up feeling tickled or surprised. She wouldn't forcefully stop me; usually just saying my name or tapping me was enough to make me stop and return to sleep. I even managed to voice a 'sorry babe' once. Each time she told me what I did the night before I'd feel very concerned but relieved that she just found it cute and sexy. After all, we'd been together so long that she'd hardly take offence to any of it, and I wasn't exactly forcing myself on top of her.

Over the past few months the sexomnia would make gradual developments; my girlfriend would notice me acting more sexually during sleep - not forceful, but I would attempt to kiss within her underwear, or gently thrust at her if we were spooning, and several times I had leaned over her and started kissing her passionately. She'd quickly wake up, though being disoriented she wouldn't know quite how to react. She often enjoyed the kissing and gentle thrusting motion, though would tap me or try to wake me up if I started undressing her or kissing inside her underwear; saying that though she wanted it to continue, she'd just be so tired and wasn't yet quite comfortable enough being woken up with oral sex yet. Each morning after it happened, she'd describe to me in detail over breakfast the mischief I'd gotten up to during the night, and each time I'd feel mildly horrified but amused all the same - a little horrified because had she been someone else and circumstances different, the outcome would be very different as well.

The sexmonia was not constant and would go through breaks, but the other half of me was certainly getting friskier as the months went on. My thrusting would sometimes get more forceful, my kissing more passionate, and my girlfriend more curious. She lately told me that from now onwards she'd let me continue to do whatever I wanted since she actually quite enjoyed it, although she often unconsciously stops me anyway, which is understandable - "I'd happily let you go on, but given that it's during the early hours, I'm just SO tired sometimes" - she told me yesterday. My sleeping self's foreplay exploits continue - ironically even last night when I was researching the disorder before bed.

There's only been one time when the sexomnia caused trouble. And damn, trouble did it cause. It was during a time when the SO and I broke up for just under a year before recently getting back together again. During that time I found another girlfriend, though of course, we broke up after a while. She took a it a little harder than I did and was very sensitive for a while afterwards. Quite some time after breaking up she was moving apartments and thus stayed in mine for a night - I wasn't too keen, but to avoid hurting her sensitivity further, I agreed to sleep in the same bed with her, after all, I was still single. No sexual contact at all.

That was, until I woke up. That morning I was having a particularly charged dream, and while the surreal cloudiness of the dream dispersed from my eyes I gradually came to realise that the person I was on top of and so passionately kissing was none other the ex girlfriend I had encouraged for so long to move on and feel better after our breakup. Not only this, my subconscious had waited until I had not only stripped down myself, but forcefully pulled down her underwear and thrown it at the wall and nearly entering right inside her before having the kindness to wake me up, presumably because fuck-you-and-let's-see-how-you-react-now-mate signed with love from Mr. Subconscious. I kind of just fell sideways in disbelief, wanting to sink right now into my grave and let all be done with. She had let me get on with it because as bewildered as she was, she initially took it as brand new interest in her and let it go on. She did accept my explanation of sexomnia along with my profuse apologies, but I don't think I'll easily live this down - if she had been anyone else whatsoever, say, a friend who needed to stay a night, and I had somehow climbed in and had at her, I'd be staring at a Chinese jail cell wall right now probably. No Chinese law court would accept sexomnia as an explanation I'm sure, given that psychiatry, psychology and somnology are extremely neglected fields in China.

I've a lot more experiences and things to say, so will be following on from this post soon. In the meantime, what do you all think of sexomnia? Got any experiences or stories?