Hope you’re well.
The other half and I have been talking about opening up to adding to the numbers when it comes to bedroom fun. Does anyone have any experience of dos or don’ts for this?
Discuss it at length and keep discussing it. Communication is key, both beforehand and once you have opened the relationship.
Set your boundaries and make sure each other understands exactly what they cover/mean. They need to cover activities in the bedroom but also behaviour outside it too.
Sorts of things you might want to discuss (not all will be relevant):
- safer sex precautions and what might happen in the case of pregnancy or getting a STI. If you use sex toys, make sure you are aware of the material and what can and can’t be fully cleaned etc.
- any persons you cannot have sex with (family, friends, coworkers, neighbours, etc)
- what sex and intimate acts are allowed (don’t forget stuff like hugs, kissing and other affectionate gestures)
- are encounters one offs, friends with benefits, relationships?
- how much can you share with new partners? (Life info etc)
- how much and when can you communicate with new partners?
- any limits on how to meet new partners?
- what happens if you see new partners in public?
- how much info do you each want to know about what goes on with other partners?
- any limits on non sex activities? (Eg going to dinner or for a drink before having sex or just meeting up platonically)
- any limits on places you can each go? (Be that not using your regular haunts for meets or not having sex in your bed or whatever)
- is this about having threesomes, foursomes, group sex etc or individual sex partners or both? If it’s a 3 or more situation, what if a new partner wants a 1on1 with one of you?
- any other limits such as not wearing certain jewellery, clothes, or lingerie, or using certain toys.
Walk yourselves through the whole scenario from looking for someone to chatting with them to having sex and afterwards and make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
Also, don’t forget anyone who does join you in the bedroom is a person who will have their own needs, wants, boundaries and feelings. Make sure you are clear and honest with them about what is on offer and do so with enough time for them to say no if it doesn’t work for them.
Excellent post and fab advice. Thank you v much
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