She said "Probably not..."

I’m in a relationship of 2.5 years and I love my girlfriend. We entertained the idea of a threesome with another girl early in our relationship and we both agreed to it but ultimately it went nowhere. I brought it up few months later and my girlfriend said she wasn’t interested anymore and she doesn’t like the thought of sharing me with anyone else. I appreciated her response and we left it at that.

Lately I’ve been intrigued by the idea of a MMF threesome so I brought it up today and my girlfriend said it hasn’t been a fantasy of hers but it crossed her mind early on in the relationship and that she doesn’t think about it anymore. I asked her if she wants us to explore this idea and she responded with “Probably not. I probably don’t care about it enough and I also think it would make the relationship weird.”

We left it at that. Any advice on how I can bring it up again? For some reason I don’t feel comfortable saying to her it’s my fantasy to have a MMF threesome lol

1 Like

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Honestly, I wouldn’t bring it up again. She has said no. Bringing it up again isn’t likely to get her to change her mind and would actually probably have the opposite effect and strengthen the no. You’ve planted the seed of the idea, it’s now It’s up to her to come back to you if she thinks on it further.

You could give it a little while and if she hasn’t said anything, you could make see how she feels about toys to simulate a threesome? This could be as simple as a suction cup dildo or a cock ring with a dildo attached for double penetration or something like a sex doll/torso with a penis


I think that discussion is passed and just drop it. It will remain a fantasy. I would not bring it up again unless your partner brings it up. Sorry as I suspect that was not the answer you wanted.


Personally i think these things are best kept as a “fantasy” and not become real . We have discussed it as a couple and talk about what we would like to do but it ends there . As another reply says … The seed has been planted and she will bring it up if she changes her mind .
The more pressure you put on her the less likely she is to say yes , it does sound like she has made up her mind .


It’s probably best left there in all fairness! I have had the convo with the other half and it hasn’t been shut down completely so we still have the little niggle in the back of our minds. As @Calie has said try keeping it as a fantasy and use toys instead of a real person! This certainly works with us talking about it whilst using a dildo sliding it around and suggesting it is another guy etc! Saying what you wanted him/it to do or what you want her to do with him/it!
It started with us from a rather naughty dream which I told her about and has lead to more open discussions about the MMF possibility’s!
Just don’t pressure her into anything as it will end up with her doing it to please you and not her, which could end up making things really bad in your relationship if you two are not strong enough :grimacing: good luck whatever you decide


Sounds like a polite no to me, I would leave it.


If you value your relationship and partner I’d personally leave it there for all the reasons stated above. Good luck


It sounds to me as if she’s said no to both options so I would keep it as a fantasy in future.

If you force the issue it could become a problem.


If you can’t communicate it clearly, that’s something you need to work on.

But considering she’s already said no, I wouldn’t push it, that could end up causing arguments. You’ve already discussed it prior, and she’s told you how she feels about it.

Quick reminder that pushing and pressuring until she agrees isn’t consent. :smiling_face:


Everyone is going to have different fantasies and this is where its hard when one person has a fantasy and the other doesn’t. What do you do with that? Just because its your fantasy it doesn’t mean your partner has to do it and vice versa. Telling your partner that its your fantasy is irrelevant as she’s already told you she doesn’t want to do it. Even though she’s said ‘probably’, its not a yes so therefore its a no.

So you get to decide how to proceed, would being pegged be an alternative for you? (based on the placement of the M’s in MMF) or use toys on yourself.

I wouldn’t bring it up again.


Tricky ground the tread but I’d honestly respect her answers in that she’s not interested playing this fantasy out and take the lovely answer that she’d not want to share you with anyone else - that’s some good love right there :raised_hands:

As your still intrigued by the fantasy why not consider getting a dildo toy to use during sex? Know it’s not the same as an extra person but it’s a second best compromise :relieved:


Sounds like it’s a no for her…

You can ask but you’ll probably get the same answer


“Probably not” is a polite way of saying, “no way buster.”

I’d be inclined to let it go, at least until she brings the subject up herself.