I’m in a relationship of 2.5 years and I love my girlfriend. We entertained the idea of a threesome with another girl early in our relationship and we both agreed to it but ultimately it went nowhere. I brought it up few months later and my girlfriend said she wasn’t interested anymore and she doesn’t like the thought of sharing me with anyone else. I appreciated her response and we left it at that.
Lately I’ve been intrigued by the idea of a MMF threesome so I brought it up today and my girlfriend said it hasn’t been a fantasy of hers but it crossed her mind early on in the relationship and that she doesn’t think about it anymore. I asked her if she wants us to explore this idea and she responded with “Probably not. I probably don’t care about it enough and I also think it would make the relationship weird.”
We left it at that. Any advice on how I can bring it up again? For some reason I don’t feel comfortable saying to her it’s my fantasy to have a MMF threesome lol
Honestly, I wouldn’t bring it up again. She has said no. Bringing it up again isn’t likely to get her to change her mind and would actually probably have the opposite effect and strengthen the no. You’ve planted the seed of the idea, it’s now It’s up to her to come back to you if she thinks on it further.
You could give it a little while and if she hasn’t said anything, you could make see how she feels about toys to simulate a threesome? This could be as simple as a suction cup dildo or a cock ring with a dildo attached for double penetration or something like a sex doll/torso with a penis
I think that discussion is passed and just drop it. It will remain a fantasy. I would not bring it up again unless your partner brings it up. Sorry as I suspect that was not the answer you wanted.
Personally i think these things are best kept as a “fantasy” and not become real . We have discussed it as a couple and talk about what we would like to do but it ends there . As another reply says … The seed has been planted and she will bring it up if she changes her mind .
The more pressure you put on her the less likely she is to say yes , it does sound like she has made up her mind .
It’s probably best left there in all fairness! I have had the convo with the other half and it hasn’t been shut down completely so we still have the little niggle in the back of our minds. As @Calie has said try keeping it as a fantasy and use toys instead of a real person! This certainly works with us talking about it whilst using a dildo sliding it around and suggesting it is another guy etc! Saying what you wanted him/it to do or what you want her to do with him/it!
It started with us from a rather naughty dream which I told her about and has lead to more open discussions about the MMF possibility’s!
Just don’t pressure her into anything as it will end up with her doing it to please you and not her, which could end up making things really bad in your relationship if you two are not strong enough good luck whatever you decide
If you can’t communicate it clearly, that’s something you need to work on.
But considering she’s already said no, I wouldn’t push it, that could end up causing arguments. You’ve already discussed it prior, and she’s told you how she feels about it.
Quick reminder that pushing and pressuring until she agrees isn’t consent.
Everyone is going to have different fantasies and this is where its hard when one person has a fantasy and the other doesn’t. What do you do with that? Just because its your fantasy it doesn’t mean your partner has to do it and vice versa. Telling your partner that its your fantasy is irrelevant as she’s already told you she doesn’t want to do it. Even though she’s said ‘probably’, its not a yes so therefore its a no.
So you get to decide how to proceed, would being pegged be an alternative for you? (based on the placement of the M’s in MMF) or use toys on yourself.
Tricky ground the tread but I’d honestly respect her answers in that she’s not interested playing this fantasy out and take the lovely answer that she’d not want to share you with anyone else - that’s some good love right there
As your still intrigued by the fantasy why not consider getting a dildo toy to use during sex? Know it’s not the same as an extra person but it’s a second best compromise
Yeah I agree with everyone else here, that’s a solid no, me and MrsToysrus both like the idea of threesomes but we both would be too jealous for another woman to touch me/another guy touching her, so it’s just a fantasy and we watch porn with that, we also have a couple of toys that act as double penetration action, maybe see if she’d be interested in those sorts of toys, so she can be double stuffed, but just with you!
Agree with the above, if approached the idea twice already and polite no been the answer, bringing it up again will only lead to further issues.
Of course must be frustrating as would imagine from early conversations it sounded like a possibility - that may have been for many reasons. When the relationship is new, feelings may not be as strong, and there is always that element of not feeling comfortable saying no.
I think the important part of her reply is ‘…think it would make the relationship weird’.
Some people (myself included) will have belief that being involved with another person (even when consensual) would feel like being unfaithful.
For me that could not involve someone I am in a loving relationship with, as it would make things feel very strange.
So I’d take the positives from her answers. She wants to be with you, and you alone.
She doesn’t want to share you with anyone, you’re hers and hers alone. That’s a lovely thing.
If you try pushing it, she may start to question why you’re happy to share her with another, and lead to her questioning your feelings for her. That could lead to a load more problems.
As others have mentioned, maybe explore what it is about the fantasy that excites you, and see if there are other ways of ticking some of those boxes between the two of you.
Hey, come on friend - no means no.
It doesn’t mean maybe. It doesn’t mean perhaps. It doesn’t mean ask me again later. It means no. And personally, I really can’t fathom why some fellow men have such a hard time understanding that.
The further you push it, the more you are disrespecting her independence and her right of consent.
I’d go on, but I’d just be a broken record, repeating what has already been said in this thread, especially in the post above mine.
Keep your fantasies in your head where they belong - that’s why it’s called fantasy, not reality. And focus on the real, beautiful soul you have right in front of you. Respect her choices. Learn that no means no.
Otherwise, if you cannot respect her choices and her refusal of consent, it’s time to move on and let her find someone who can. Sorry lad.
good luck whatever you decide
