Hello I have a question, for men and women, I’ll get straight to it…so my partner ive been seeing recently, enjoys masturbating, me and herself, so as we was getting it on! She sits on my.chest,
Now my partner knows I dont like going down on any women. Or having cum in my mouth.
So anwyay…
She puts my arms under her shins, her knees are sat on my shoulders, so Im Pinned down didn’t no what to expect.. she starts masturbating, herself and out of no where without warning! She squirts all over my.chest and face!!
I didnt expect it? It went in my eyes, on my face I had to spit out one side! it stung a little.. It caught me.off guard, I tried too move my arms from the shock, and jolted my body, but she didn’t budge. she had me pinned, and carried on squirting all over me…
I just closed my.eyes and waited till it was over…
I haven’t bought this up to her yet but. Should she have said what she was gona do first? Is this a degrading thing?.or is it okay for.her to do this without warning?
First off, welcome to the forum. I think you will enjoy the conversations and perspectives here.
As far as your situation, I think she should mentioned she wanted to do that before just surprising you that way, though it might have just been an impulse and not planned by her. Talking with her about the experience might be a god idea, especially if she wants to continue to do that. You will have to figure out if it was meant to be degrading toward you by communicating how it felt for you.
Given she knew you didn’t like oral or cum in your mouth… Yes. Absolutely. Sure this isn’t quite either, but you can reasonably expect as the person doing it that they may not he into it.
Whether something is degrading is (in my opinion) down to the person receiving it, and the intent of the person who is giving. I can’t tell you how to take it, or what her intent was. All I know is that I wouldn’t take it to be this way, whereas I can confidently say some that others will.
To me this sounds basically no different to a guy cumming in someone’s face. Some love it, some hate it.
If you were uncomfortable with it then either way it’s your right to bring it up so she knows for the future, otherwise it’s likely to happen again.
It doesn’t have to be a big deal, you can just mention it and talk more about future boundaries. You could make it a learning experience which leads to better and more respectful sex.
Personally I don’t find it degrading, but each individual will be different of course. I do agree that prior conversations about her plans would be helpful in this case - but in the heat of the moment we often don’t think. I would have a chat with her and explain how you feel.
Should she ask you first? Yes, absolutely. Not if she can masturbate (unless that’s a kink for both of you), but if she can squirt on you. By her pinning you down, that sounds like a domination thing. Did you consent to being dominated?
I know some people (like myself) enjoy playing power games, but here’s the thing: everything we do in kink is based on consent. I won’t swallow cum - happy to suck cock all day long but if they try and cum in my mouth, they’re risking a punch in the nuts. I enjoy facials too, so long as it doesn’t land up in my eye (stings and I can’t see out of that eye for a good hour or so) and again, they don’t try and cum in my mouth. You set the “rules of engagement” you’re comfortable with, and if they don’t respect them, or you for having them? They’re not the rignt partner for you.
I’d not complain one bit if it was my missus but she knows I wouldn’t complain,but yes if she was aware your not a fan of it then yes I agree she should have asked etc
From your perspective, if she knew she was going to squirt, I’d suggest yes, she should of told you before hand as she knows you don’t like it. That’s really unfair and I’m sure many would argue is crossing a red line, being as its non consensual.
I’m guessing she thought that if it just happened in the heat of the moment and you were already turned on, you might find you like it after all. Maybe she didn’t expect to squirt? I presume she’s never done it before with or you’d of expected it .. You both need to talk about it while you’re washing the dishes or driving.
Personally, I can only dream of having my OH do that. I’d happily drown in her. We’re all different and I do tend to get dehydrated so every little helps.
We’ve tried a bit of Consenting Non-Consenting role play before when I ambushed OH when she arrived home from work. Literally ripped her clothes off her, used her torn off stockings to tie her up and blindfold her, then indulged in some (careful) rough sex including face-fuxking and anal. It was a bit….errr…..wrong in some ways as I was quite forceful with her but we’d talked about it at length beforehand and she admitted she wanted a) a surprise/shock and b) to feel “taken”.
The key thing is we knew each other’s boundaries well in advance and had talked about it and agreed everything so although it was a shock when I jumped her, and she wasn’t sure what I’d do as there were only a couple of things that were outright off the cards, we had a very clear safe word and very deep trust.
I think doing anything without some kind of pre-arrangement or agreed boundaries (be it through first discussion or simply knowing someone really really well) will only ever end badly.
I think, yes, it would have been considerate/appropriate for b her to talk to you first about what she wanted to do, particularly knowing your feelings about going down on her.
I have a long-held desire for pee play with my wife but a couple of gentle comments over the years have given me the feeling it’s not her thing. I would never just surprise her by doing it even if I hadn’t known her feelings.
Having said all that, I would love to receive what you did. You wouldn’t have to pin me down!
If there wasn’t talks before hand on this sort of thing then I’d say something needs to be said especially if she knows your not comfortable with getting it all over your face…
You’re not the only person who’s had things sprung upon them inadvertently… 
