Hi everyone, I'm back on the forum and am now single. Have been straight all my life, not long finished a long term relationship but have got myself wondering this last year or so if I may in fact be bi. I have started to find women attractive (physically and sexually), and also obviously still am attracted to men in the same way also, so I'm thinking bi-curious maybe?
Wanted to know who on the forum is bi/bi-curious/lesbian? Also of anybody knows of any truly free chat/sites to meet like minded people for friendship? I'm not after any hook-ups or revealing photos of myself online just yet as I am still questioning/exploring my possible sexuality so to speak and am not after people to yet potentially recognise me and put a label on me(I have family and colleagues who have friends on the gay scene and frequent with them in clubs/bars). Thanks in advance
Hi. I've been bi all my life but it took me a while to really accept it and follow it. It opens up so many doors for relationships or for other 'quicker' experiences. If you have thoughts and feelings like this then my advice would be to explore them while you can. Then perhaps 'bi curious' will just become 'bi', and proud!
Thanks BiNick.I don't know where to start, where to meet people to explore or find out more?without having to do online dating with a photo or go to my local town gay bar where I know alot of my colleagues go to socialise as it's a good night out and is probably safer than most other straight clubs in town.
First of all, welcome back. I identity as pansexual, which is like bi sexual except I can be attracted to any gender. Put better, I can be attracted to any person regardless of their chosen gender identity.
Anyways, I also think sexuality is fluid and how you feel can change. This seems to have happened to you, that you are now finding people who present themselves as women as attractive. My main advise is not to label it or judge it at this moment in time. Exploration is a good idea, but also accepting your interest in women as natural is more important than putting a label on it.
In terms of websites, I do know people who use Okcupid as a source of online friendship and casual flirting (there's an option to say you're looking for friendship). However, it is primarily a dating website. Sorry I've not had much experience of other sites to point you towards.
Being scared of how other people will react is natural, but also remember there are loads of reasons why people go into gay bars, it's unlikely anyone will bat an eyelid, never mind question your sexuality.
Thanks Jezebella yes that makes sense. When you say pan sexual, do you mean people whom are transgender you are also attracted to? I'm not familiar with the terminology although I have heard of it.A lot of my friends have moved away so I don't get chance to go out a lot to explore plus I have a child whom lives with me so its difficult. I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid, but if I met somebody or was on a date and saw somebody I knew I'd be mortified. :-/
Great advice from Jezebella. I've not heard of that term either. To me bisexual is being attracted to male or female and I'll be corrected if I'm wrong, but to me it's not being limited to one gender, it's about being attracted to who you like the look of, on the outside and in. As a man I like men for different reasons and women for others but there is an overlap. I understand your position of how to explore your thoughts safely and privately. Have you tried watching women in porn to see whether it really turns you on or to see whether it's just your own private thoughts? I also understand your concerns of being seen, I still battle with it. I don't know any sites where you can even chat without posting a pic. What about a swingers site as most are very discreet and respectful, and if you go to a party you can always say no.
Thanks Jezebella yes that makes sense. When you say pan sexual, do you mean people whom are transgender you are also attracted to? I'm not familiar with the terminology although I have heard of it.A lot of my friends have moved away so I don't get chance to go out a lot to explore plus I have a child whom lives with me so its difficult. I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid, but if I met somebody or was on a date and saw somebody I knew I'd be mortified. :-/
Ah I understand completely, its difficult to get out with so many responsibilities and even harder if you don't have a good friend around who you can confide in and go out with you.
Perhaps you could try okcupid with an alias? See what non-straight women are in your region and willing just to chat? You never know, you might make a great friend who you can go out with, or meet someone you'd like to have a relationship. By using a false name (which many people do to start with), there's very little risk for you.
Another idea is trusting in a friend if there is someone close to you who'd be willing to go out with you, but who you would trust not to share with other people?
Yes, with pansexual I also include trans, intersex, non-binary people (people who don't present as women or men). Basically an all inclusive term.
I don't like to put a label on what I 'am' but if I had to describe who I am attracted to I'd say I'm pansexual too; I like guys, girls, manly girls, feminine girls, manly guys, girly guys, transsexuals, gender fluid... I just like what I like!
I'd identified as straight until I got to about 33. Then I thought perhaps I was bi curious; I became increasingly attracted to women. I've always been turned on by seeing naked women and girls in porn, women have such amazing bodies!! But it felt like I needed to explore further. So I did - I have regular sex with a girl now and I love it!
It's opened up a whole new world for me, which I find liberating and exciting. I love the LGBT community as I like accepting, inclusive people and I feel now like I am seeing beauty everywhere! Give 'Her' a go, it's a gay dating app but there are bi curious women on there who will be happy just to chat ☺️
I'm very open minded when it comes to sex but it is harder to be open to others about what you like. I really hope you find a way Soft Kitty to try out this new desire of yours.
Me and my wife have been on a real personal journey together.
When I met her she was a virgin...me not so much so. Together we learnt a lot together over the years building up her willingness to try newer things at the same time allowing herself to admit to herself what she enjoys. Well after a few years she finally admitted her favourite porn was lesbian...especially tribbing. My favourite too luckily. She also experienced the biggest orgasms when I tell her stories with her eyes closed of how she has lesbian experiences, firstly with strangers now with friends. She then reluctantly admitted that she found it a turn on seeing the other ladies change at the local pool, then admitted she found one of her friends sexually attractive. We used that admittance in my stories. She at this point admitted again reluctantly she was bi-curious. Over the last few years we have concluded that she is actually bi-sexual having never tried it but definately Bi-sexual. I have finally allowed myself to understand I am Polysexual - I love both Vaginas and Penises and find them equally a turn on AS LONG as they are on a female or female looking individual. Just cannot find men attractive but a really convincing Ladyboy or TV would definately be a sexual partner for me. We are super faithful to each other and just enjoy together our sexualities.
I suppose if we were to ever explore it would be easier for her but I'm sure we would go to a very reputable swingers club. Plenty of websites have honest customer reviews on. Perhaps you should try that.....miles away from home for recognition purposes.