so frustrated!

i'm 20 and still a virgin. i've also never had an orgasm.

i've bought bullet vibrators, orgasm balm and more but i still cant seem to reach orgasm.

ive applied the bullet directly on my clitoris but i dont get affected really.

does anyone have any advice on how to have an orgasm?

its getting SO frustrating!

thanks :)

rule 1 relax...... one you hit the spot once it be far easier then and dont believe myth women come easily

Best thing really is to relax and not concentrate on trying to acheive orgasm, by concentrating you tense up and don't relax, making things more diffucult for yourself. Relaxation is the name of the game, relax and go with the sensations.

Well, I'm not a woman but I can offer a little wisdom. Nothing you won't have heard before though! The long and the short of it is that unfortunately, the harder you try the harder it will likely become to reach orgasm! As many will tell you, try to relax and not focus on orgasming. When you have a good amount of time alone, play with yourself. I would even say do it without toys. Explore with your fingers and some lube. Don't focus on orgasm, just figure out what you like the feel of and what you don't like the feel of. Don't focus on any one area just yet. Play with your labia, stroke your inner thighs, try different ways of stimulating your clitoris and try penetration first with one finger and then progress to more if you wish. If you find something you like the feel of then keep doing it for a while before trying something different. Once you start figuring our what you like the feel of and what you don't like the feel of you can start to refine the things you do like the feeling of and see if or how you can enhance the sensations. It could be by varying the tempo or pressure or even using more or less lube. You can also try linear vs circular vs tapping vs thrusting vs stroking motions. This doesn't all have to be during one long masturbatory session. You may prefer to try a little at a time every now and then. You may be starting to get the picture. There is no blueprint for an orgasm because it's different for everyone! It takes patience, an open mind and willingness to experiment to find out what works for you. The one thing that does seem to be the same for everyone is the need to be relaxed. Don't try to chase your orgasms, let them come to you! If or when you learn how to make yourself come I'm posetive you will find that hte most satisfying orgasms are the ones which you allow to come over you rather than the ones you "chase"!

As for your virginity, don't sweat it and don't rush it! Sex is great when it's with the right person. It is also better when you know what you like and what you don't like so that you can direct your partner. This takes us back to taking the time to explore and play with yourself! As you learn what you like and don't like and how to intensify the good sensations see how far you can push the good sensations without trying too hard. It may not happen on day one or during week one but with a little luck this approach will bring you to orgasm! Above all, relax and just enjoy making yourself feel good!

It's also worth knowing that having an orgasm isn't necessarily the best part of sex (solo or with a partner).

I hope you have many pleasurable hours to yourself!

The part of you that needs to be fully aroused to reach orgasm is your mind. Ypu might need to explore fantasies or read some erotica. Then when you feel aroused, start to play. Play with your body, teasing and building the sensations. Enjoy the whole time instead of rushing to an end point.

Totally agree with Honeytongue. Try reading through some of the erotic stories here and just let your imagination wander. If you sit in some lingerie you feel sexy in and just have a toy to hand. Then as you read just touch as you feel fit. You need to be in touch with your body and how it wants to react before you can even begin to know how your body wants to be touched by others.

thanks for all your help and advice! :)