So... kinky stuff?

Basically I've been with my boyfriend for around 3 months now, and at first I thought he was shy/inexperienced, as we spent several nights in bed together and he never tried to lay his hands on me!

How wrong could I be?? Turns out that he was just trying to be respectful rather than disinterested, and it's clear to me now that he has a sexual appetite that any man would be proud of! Even more suprised was I to find he owns some hand cuffs and leg cuffs. I have hand cuffs too, but frankly compared to his, mine are rather flimsy.

He's now hinting that maybe he'd perhaps like me to take control and I guess 'dominate' a bit more in the bedroom. For example, when I asked him what kind of costume he'd most find a turn on, he said he'd like to see me in a police uniform, and he's said before that I don't necessarily have to be quite so 'generous' to him.

Now, this is rather uncharted territory for me. Quite frankly I haven't really even put my hand cuffs to much use before. I LOVE sex, typically though I'm more submissive and I prefer the guy to be in control and all manly, it's sexy as hell! Still, I'm willing to give it a try, but I'm worried that I might have shyness issues of my own! Never much been one to 'perform' for anyone, never felt comfortable bringing myself to orgasm with any previous boyfriends staring at me.

Strangely though, I found myself initiating phone sex with him just over a week ago, which was a complete first for me! Always found the idea kinda embarrassing before, so no idea where that urge to turn him on by letting him hear my moans down the phone came from. And just yesterday I used my trusty rabbit to warm myself up while laying next to him, and didn't feel any cringyness at all!

So, considering I seem to feel pretty comfortable with him, I want to try being this sexy, in-control woman he'd like me to be from time to time. I guess if I were to dress up as bad cop I'm asking for advice on things I can do/say/practice? Or any potential equipment I should consider?

Hi Beloved_Sin, it sounds as though you and your boyfriend have a very trusting, healthy relationship - congratulations! In one of my Tracey Cox books Tracey recommends that when being dominant in the bedroom, use orders - 'please' is a no no here! Order him about in a low, commanding voice and stand up straight with your head held high. Keep your smiles to a minimum.

You may want to consider buying something like this - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2720 and teaming it with an oversized shirt, stockings and killer heels, with a big wide-waist-cincher belt to give you an hourglass figure. Cheap sexy cop right here!

Anyway, I hope this is useful, I'm sure other forum members will have much more to say too. Welcome aboard!

Thanks HappilyExperimenting, it's nice to have some input as I'm pretty clueless about this! I'm pretty confident in my bedroom abilities in general, and I'm not one to shy away from dressing up in things like sexy corsets and stockings etc. But this is the first time I've ever considered acting in a 'role' as such.

I guess because I've never tried it before I don't want to push things past what he's comfortable with too, although to be honest I'm not quite sure what his limit is yet! Is there a good way to test the waters? Or would it be worth investing in any books at all?

The costume idea you mentioned there sounds pretty solid and manageable, I could probably just steal one of his own shirts for it, he's been rather appreciative of me wearing them before. :P

He will love the fact you wearing his shirt, knowing your scent is over his shirt he will love it. I would make sure he is hand cuff before start stripping so he cant touch you , that will be so teasing for him. Be really close to his just close enough so he can smell, tease him see if he kisses your neck and if he does kiss you think of a punishiment as such for him being so cheeky and not waiting.

You have a honest open trusting relationship by the sounds of it you will have lots of fun and enjoy it .

Look forward to the update

Sorry I haven't got any relevant experience to share with you BS. But just to say that your opening is really good..... you write well !! Maybe your title would have been better if it was more explicit..... 'Advice on domination please' might hook more posts from members who know about this stuff. But do hope you contibute more threads

KinkyFuckery wrote:

He will love the fact you wearing his shirt, knowing your scent is over his shirt he will love it. I would make sure he is hand cuff before start stripping so he cant touch you , that will be so teasing for him. Be really close to his just close enough so he can smell, tease him see if he kisses your neck and if he does kiss you think of a punishiment as such for him being so cheeky and not waiting.

You have a honest open trusting relationship by the sounds of it you will have lots of fun and enjoy it .

Look forward to the update

I guess the idea of this is to tease but without being too overly familiar, I think I'll probably have a hard time not cracking up laughing at myself though, should I not be particularly smooth with my 'acting' for the first time! :P Guess I'm slightly worried about messing up, but I suppose the key to these sorts of things is to be comfortable, confident and relaxed! Now just to pick my moment to do this...

Dont worry if you laugh or mess it up have fun he will love that you have gone to all that effort xx

Lifebuoy wrote:

Sorry I haven't got any relevant experience to share with you BS. But just to say that your opening is really good..... you write well !! Maybe your title would have been better if it was more explicit..... 'Advice on domination please' might hook more posts from members who know about this stuff. But do hope you contibute more threads

Thank you for the compliments. :) Admittedly it's my first time posting on a forum like this, so I'm a complete newbie! I do now realise I could have been more informative with the title of my thread, but then posting at 4am when I was shattered probably wasn't the best way to go about it in the first place. :P Largely I'm a creature of impulse like that though, when my man showed me this website before he headed to bed last night, well, I got curious!

KinkyFuckery wrote:

Dont worry if you laugh or mess it up have fun he will love that you have gone to all that effort xx

When things get intimate between me and him it's typically not a deadly serious moment, generally there's plenty of giggling about rude noises and such! :o So it's not as if he wouldn't be used to me having a fit of laughter during an embarrassing moment, but because this is something he wants I want to do well for him and make it however he's imagined it, y'know? :)

maybe ask a few probing questions what does he want ?

KinkyFuckery wrote:

maybe ask a few probing questions what does he want ?

I have very gently probed him for answers about things he likes/would like to try in the bedroom, but he pretty much just said even though he hasn't been with many women he's open to trying almost anything, even 'weird' stuff, purely because he hasn't experienced it. More precise info would be useful though, but I don't want him to catch on to what I'm planning.

Beloved_Sin wrote:

KinkyFuckery wrote:

maybe ask a few probing questions what does he want ?

I have very gently probed him for answers about things he likes/would like to try in the bedroom, but he pretty much just said even though he hasn't been with many women he's open to trying almost anything, even 'weird' stuff, purely because he hasn't experienced it. More precise info would be useful though, but I don't want him to catch on to what I'm planning.

open book perfect which means you just have to be yourself

I'm rather submissive when it comes to men, but i can be a switch when it comes to women, i know its different, but its not at the same time. I can't dominate a man as i just fall about laughing, instead of giving punishments.

Anywho, make him beg, and beg and beg for you, for your Puss, for your boobs, for anything and everything, its fun :D Ask him why he thinks he deserves for you to give him head etc. Tease him, get a feather or a tickler, theres one on here i'll find the link for you, and also blindfold him, it makes his other sences come alive. Make sure you've got a safe word say 'red' for instance to stop the scene completely, and 'yellow' for slowing the scene down, and 'orange' if he doesnt like something and just wants you to stop that one thing you're doing to him. If i think of anything else i'll post :D

Most importanly, make sure you have fun! ;-)

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18420

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15808

theres the two links :D