Some ideas please?

So I don't usually ask for ideas as I quite like thinking up things myself, having a browse and talking things over. Simply, I have a close male friend, I'm female and we're both straight, that I sleep with, we're exclusive on that as we're not in a place to be in a relationship with each other or others but we like each other and we were friends for some while before we talked about sleeping together. He mentioned that he would like to try with me being much more in control of things. It's something I've wanted to do but haven't previously but in his case we are very compatible and have much the same attitudes with sex and trying things out. I'm pretty flattered he's willing to relinquish control and trusts me so I want to make it a good experience for both of us.

I have some positions in mind, generally with me on top where I'm in charge or he has to focus on me but I also have ones where it's more romantic but I'm still the one in charge depending on our mood. We're very much of the opinion that we will try most things once and if we don't like it we just won't do it again and we certainly are comfortable talking about sex together.

We do like tying each other up and have some simple, soft restraints for that as it's not too hardcore and they feel nicer! We've blind folded each other, had a bit of spanking which we enjoyed but that was just with our hands and I love giving him massages if we're in a sweet mood to start things which I guess puts me in a more gently dominant position. I do have some massage stones which could be used for some temperature play which I think would be fun and as we both like candles a massage candle might be an idea. I did think of denial for example telling him when and where he can touch me etc. There are a lot of ways I could take this!

I guess I would like to approach this in a more gentle manner as that's more unexpected to take charge in a more subtle and softer way than the way people think when you mention being more dominant. Of course I am open to some less gentle ways but as this is a new thing I don't want to terrify anybody and of course we need to talk about what is and isn't okay for both of us, like we haven't got onto discussing back door play for either of us and to be honest I'd rather leave that out in this case as that'd be throwing in too much plus I think this show of trust from him is quite something so I don't want to squander it by throwing too much at us!

Thanks and be interesting to see what you think or maybe come up with some things the other ladies would like to try on their other?

From a guys point of view, I love it when my OH simply tells me what she wants or what to do to her. It's me making the effort, but she's in control of it.

For example, she recently said 'suck on my tits'. I did, she loved it and was happy. I was happy because she got exactly what she wanted and it was her controlling it.

Communication (in general and talking dirty) is something we've found to be really effective.

Tell him what you like while he's doing it, then build on that. For example, if he's stroking your thighs, tell him you like it, then you could gradually build up to asking him to do it, then one day order him to.

Take your time and great things will come your way.

hornyleekbloke wrote:

From a guys point of view, I love it when my OH simply tells me what she wants or what to do to her. It's me making the effort, but she's in control of it.

For example, she recently said 'suck on my tits'. I did, she loved it and was happy. I was happy because she got exactly what she wanted and it was her controlling it.

Communication (in general and talking dirty) is something we've found to be really effective.

Tell him what you like while he's doing it, then build on that. For example, if he's stroking your thighs, tell him you like it, then you could gradually build up to asking him to do it, then one day order him to.

Take your time and great things will come your way.

+1 good post, nothing is off limits as far as I'm concerned and will happy indulge with whatever she wants, I'm more than happy let her control the situation and take the lead

Oh I agree on the communication, that we don't seem to have a problem with and unfortunately problems with communication have been a point that annoyed me with exes I had relationships with as they didn't seem so comfortable talking about it so they'd avoid it.

Love it when my wife tells me what she wants, unfortunately she only does this when she had a few drinks and her naughty side comes out. i also find that if i slowly turn her on then build her up and up she opens up like crazy too me love this. but sure if you talk to him telling him what you want and how good it feels when he does it he will love it.

my wife wants to turn up to my hotel room when i work away with very little on under a long coat and take control of me and make me do everything she says. the thought is amazing i must say

Haha I can't imagine many people not enjoying their OH turning up like that!