How to go about starting up spanking with your OH?
Does it aid overall pleasure and why?
Help please?
Thanks A
When we got into it my OH said she wanted to try it so we started with me just using my hand on her with her over my knee. Just starting gently and slowly with lots of massage in between spanks. You could also bring in a bit of role play too if you want.
We then progressed to restraints, floggers and a paddle.
The most important thing is communication. Agree what you’ll say if you want it to stop or slow down. Whoever’s doing the spanking also needs to be very focused on your reactions and body language to keep it pleasurable so hopefully you won’t need those safe words. They should also verbally ask if you’re enjoying it at regular points to be sure.
Pleasure wise it helps increase blood flow to your bum and any other areas being spanked which can heighten pleasure. I believe Pain also releases endorphins which are the bodies pleasure drug.
As it’s such a trusting act it brings you closer and there’s also the excitement of of when is the next blow coming which is a real turn on.
Hope this helps and if you give it a go, enjoy!
Thanks adds
Good to get an intro for two newbies to this.!
Hope we enjoy but obviously some talking to be done first x
Hi I love it when my partner does this and he loves doing it. We brought a love honey set for beginners which had a small whip and paddle in it. Just start gently and see what your happy with.
I find it aids pleasure as unlike in our day to day life he gets to be the boss in the bedroom and im very into that. We haven't gone to hard yet but sometimes I wish he would start progressing and doing it a bit harder.
ADHD I didn't realise about the body science behind it (blood flow) I just knew I liked it lol but thank you that was rather insightful .
Have fun Alm1 x
The reply above is shares things really well in my opinion, talking to each other is important so you both know where your desires are and your limits, these may change over time. By trying to openly discuss fears, desires and the confusion around spanking and its pleasures will also help understanding each others limitations.
I found discussing fantasies while out for a nice meal with the OH broke the ice, role play / dressing up activities were a good starting point and being away from home, (if it isn’t successful, it isn't in the bedroom at home as a negative memory later on) strict teacher, naughty school boy / girl, dom / sub or just trying it as part of foreplay.
We have paddles etc. but my hand is the preferred spanking tool, reading erotica with spanking scenes will help you both feel more comfortable in developing this enjoyable activity together. Good luck
Some good advice here
Advice I was given is , use a slightly cupped hand at first , start of softly . The spankee (is that the right word ?) will soon let you know if they want it harder .
Remember , if it's too soft , you can always go harder , but if you go too hard the spanking can't be taken back
Remember of course the safe word , something non sexual . RED is a favourite , for STOP
Make sure the word is understood , and , of course stop , the second the safe word is used
I would do as others have said and start off slow, start with spanking using hands and then if you like it introduce whips/floggers and anything else you fancy!
Whether it will increase overall pleasure is down to the individual I suppose. I love pain during sex so spanking is something I love - also the "pain" (at least in my experience- so maybe not the same for everyone) isn't what I would really describe as "pain" because being really turned on kind of dulls/counteracts the pain. That's not to say it won't be sore and painful afterwards (depending on how much spanking there has been) However, I can see how for many people spanking and pain would defeat the point of the pleasure of sex - and Ive had conversations with friends to that effect. I would say that if you (and your partner) like the idea of it then give it a try (slowly) and have a safe word in place as others have said.
No worries JoJo you're welcome. I did a bit of reading up on it when we first got into it as I was terrified of going too far with my OH
Thanks for all the info n encouragement so far. Had a chat about what my OH thought about trying spanking in the bedroom. He grinned and said he had been wondering how to suggest moving onto it - in fact was pretty turned on by the conversation alone.
We’re going to talk through safe words and starting off with just hands as suggested, but also both fancy getting a paddle for beginners.
Any suggestions on which one to buy?
Love you all xxx
I would look at the options available, the lovehoney satin and leather one might be suitable to begin with. There are any options to choose from, l would look for something wider rather than thin to begin with and maybe something to use now and something a bit more advanced. Looking at the product videos as well you might find useful.