Anyone actually use corporal punishment’s in their consensual relationships?
With the new year we are going to commit moving towards incorporating spankings for both of us .
Can you offer any advice how to really make the spankings count.
Thanks
Oh wow… too many factors to figure in for your question so I will start.
Are you looking to turn a bum red? Leave marks for a few days? Split the skin? Do you want it to be uncomfortable when your partner sits down a few days later?
The narrower the spanking toy is the more intense it will be. You can do big time wallops with a wood paddle and only turn the bum red, but it will hurt. A small cane if used hard will split the skin and definitely bruise.
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We’ve just started impact play in the last month or so.
She doesn’t spank me as she would hurt her hand but she does use a cane, a flogger a crop and a paddle on me.
Neither of us were sure that we would like it but we gave it a try and now we do it 2 or 3 times a week. As soon as the marks fade we go again .
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How are the marks? Redness, bruises, cuts? How intense are the spankings and how long do they last?
No Cuts. She won’t go that far.
It depends on what she’s using. The paddle and the flogger leave overall redness with occasional bruised areas. The crop produces lots of small red/bruised patches which merge together if she continues for long enough. The cane produces thin red or black weals.
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Ya… that is what I am kind of into as well. I have been with subs that wanted to go way further which was cool knowing it was consensual. Exactly right if someone is into it. Thanks for sharing.
So we are not looking to break skin, more so to provide an actual punishment spanking that would help correct bad behavior on my part. Understanding that I do want to improve but sometimes old habits need a little encouragement to change.
We don’t do scenarios or role play. She crops, paddles or flogs me because i enjoy the pain and the restraint and she enjoys giving me the pain/pleasure.
A wide wooden paddle is what I would recommend for your needs. Repeated hits will start to hurt and it will get the ass bright red to show the punishment.
No role play here either. Theses are genuine issues that are going to be addresses. That’s not to say I do not enjoy a good spanking when playing.
@wcd to make the spanking count it’s vital to use thinner tools as these will move faster through the air and leave a deep red mark on the bottom- a cane or rod ( a thin metal flexible rod - similar to a car Ariel) but would suggest using a number of paddles to bring fun into spanking as a paddle can be fun while delivering a nice red bottom
A vital point is aim - get your aim correctly made - in the past I would draw a line on my husbands bottom with lipstick so I could spank and it’s more fun for all 
We have a pack of BDSM suggestion cards and last night my wife (at random) chose the one which instructed her to use the paddle on me.
We have only recently started impact play and she is still a bit hesitant and frequently ask me if I’m OK, which breaks the mood somewhat.
This morning i sat her down and explained that although the paddle is painful it’s exactly what i want and need. I told her not to ask if i was OK and not to hold back on the blows either.
I know she gets tired (Parkinsons) so i explained that she could take as many breaks as she needed as i particularly enjoy being left hung from the spreader bars and not knowing when the next blow will come. I love it when she leaves the room for whatever reason and leaves me hung up.
She was happy with my reassurances so this afternoon im going to be paddled as hard and as long as she can manage or until i ask her to stop.
Just wondering I have heard technique can really affect the outcome. Have you noticed any differences when she holds the implement differently?
Good question.
It depends on the implement.
The paddle has a large working area and is easy for her to grip consistently. The pain doesn’t really change no matter how she hits me. It is, however, probably the most painful of the 4 items that we use.
The cane obviously has a thin circular cross section but the impact and pain varies greatly depending on whether she strikes with the tip or the middle of the cane. The tip is far more painful.
The flogger is generally less painful as the multiple strands spread the force of the blow but, as with the cane, the ends of the strands are the most painful.
The crop has a very small working area so she has to be more accurate with this. The small leather pad is the effective area but the long handle/shaft increases the impact tremendously. This is the one she finds most difficult to control due to the weakness in her wrists (Parkinsons). When she gets the pad flat on my flesh it is very painful but sometimes the crop twists in her hand and she hits me with the edge of the leather. This produces short linear marks but very little pain.
We have only been doing this for a couple of months and her technique and confidence have come on amazingly.
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Yesterday.
As promised yesterday I was spread-eagled on the spreader bars and paddled hard. Ultimately 50 hard hits with the paddle on the cheeks of my bum.
If she was unsure she certainly didn’t show it and she hit me so hard that I began to doubt whether I could take the 50 we agreed on but after 30 she had a rest and that enable me to take the remainder of the blows.
She took a photo immediately afterwards and it looked amazing. Bright red all over, dark red in patches with some purple areas too. She hadn’t actually broken the skin but she had come damn close.
I spent a long time cuddling her, thanking her and reassuring her that she had done a great job and exactly what I wanted.
She took another photo this morning and the bright red areas have gone but the dark red areas are still there. The purple areas have turned dark red now too.
I explained to her that I want to carry the marks she made as long as I can as they are a sign of just how much she loves me. I think she gets it now.
Hubby has admittedly anjoyed spanking me more recently. Not roleplay, namely either because he can or because I’ve been bratting him out. I can be very bratty and he’s always been clear that he doesn’t mind me having a sense of humour but if I leave myself vulnerable then I will face the consequences - play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Friday I was in the kind of gangway to our kitchen (really just a gangway created between the lounge wall and back of sofa) and I realised immediately that my goose was cooked. His latest game has been to spin me over the back of the sofa and spank me there. It’s degrading knowing that our guests sit there when they visit and are none the wiser to our lifestyle. He knows I wouldn’t change it, though.
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