Still not sure

After all the positive's over the past month or so with our "anal play", yesterday we attempted to progress to the next stage and it did'nt work.We were both "interested" in what the effect/sensation would be with my 8" jelly vibro inserted. Despite being well lubed and up for it, he could'nt take it, just a couple of inches went in and he found the extra girth too painfull and that just killed the mood. Still novice's at this....but what I have noticed is that with 7 inch original hard vibro (much slimmer) although I am very gentle he can take nearly all of it and say's it feels good but it's far better with just over half of it in and slowly thurst back and forth, despite liking this a lot he only get's a part errection, never full on and does'nt play with his cock....however when I coat my fingers with "tingle" and insert one,he get's massive instanly and wanks it...two fingers and he wanks really hard and when I build up the speed and really finger f**k him he shoot's ropes of the stuff maybe toys are not the answer ??