[...] actually there's a point where stopping & starting in masturbation/sex detracts from my orgasm.
I don't know precisely ehen and why it happens but I've noticed that if I get all excited and into the swing of things then it stops at the wrong moment I find it quite tricky to cum again. Normally I have the opposite problem - like female premature ejaculation, so I find this quite weird! I also noticed that when I do cum, it's less intense, also weird!
I'm not worried about this or anything, I just find it curious that teasing can make an orgasm more intense sometimes (all that tension building up etc) but other times it has the opposite effect.
Anyone else had similar experiences?
I think there are different stages of arousal, and I think that keeping track of which one you're in at any given time is really important. Some you can exit and enter easily, some are more difficult to come back to.
Also, I think there's more to it than just stopping and starting. I think it's also about how you stop or slow down or otherwise change what you're doing. I think that different stages of arousal need different kinds of change in order to re-enter them easily. This would explain why sometimes you respond one way to slowing down or stopping, and sometimes you respond differently to the same thing. It's all about what stage or arousal you're in and precisely how you change what you're doing.
I think it's worth experimenting to get to know each of your arousal stages and how you respond when you enter and leave them and return to them, and how your responses change when you do different things.
In my experience, sex isn't linear, it's circular. What I mean is, sex isn't linear as in on or off, doing or not doing, stopping or starting. In my experience, sex being circular means that everything has a how and a way and a how much. :)