Swinging whilst being big

Hi all,

I dabbled a little on fabswingers ages ago, but now I'm thinking of taking the plunge and trying a club. The problem is, I've seen a few photos of the members and everyone looks so skinny and beautiful!

I'ma big girl, I know I am and I'm not that confident in myself but I'm wondering if I'll fit in the clubs or if I'll get thrown out for looking like a beached whale!

Do clubs host bbw nights, or can anyone recommend any friendly places. In the West Midlands, ideally please.

Much love and peace x

Can't voice for the WM but we explored this a few months ago, while we are of average build and appearance - we certainly don't class ourselves as "beautiful people" we wondered the same and expected wall to wall intimidating beauties judging us as we "joined in" this was not the case, there were couples and singles in their 20s/30s, 30s/40s and older and all body shapes and sizes.

There were a few people who had made a lot of effort getting ready, hair make up etc and those who had put on a dress with something naughty underneath.

I don't think you need to worry, we found everyone friendly and no judging, the communal area was more like a bar with people chatting together before moving off to do whatever came next.

Hope this helps and have fun.

Hi AH , lots of people only see the downside to their perceived body image. I feel many people will find you desirable for who you are.

Lots of the pictures are staged and done for adverts. So please don't worry go enjoy yourself.

I think all types are welcome to be honest let me know if you have any joy from the west mids myself! Chris

AutunmH, Please don't ever put yourself down. You Don't Deserve It. My wife and I have been swinging for many many years now. We have done the big shows ( 100 plus ) and we have done the intimate ( 5-6 people ). The ladies there have been all sizes but you look at them as a person. We are all the same, looking for fun. it's not a beauty show. You meet some wonderful people and become good friends as we have more than 50 in our own circle. We don't look at them as fat,thin, tall or short. I'm making a right mess of this but you know what I'm trying to get at. It's the person that people want to meet. Sorry I've gone a bit. I say go. you will enjoy it, just be yourself. xxxx

I would also say if you in to this then go for it. Dont think of size weight and just have fun.

Hi, I'm a very voluptuous lady and have been to BBW nights in clubs. I even uses to host my own events at a club in Manchester and even though it was aimed at BBW and their admirers, everyone was welcome.
Fab isn't the best site, try social swinging, it's much more friendly x

Hi AutumnH,

Firstly I think it's brilliant that you want to get out there and try a club or naughty night, if everyone did more of it the world would be a much more chilled and sexy place! ;-)

I've been to a few places and parties and suchlike and the one thing that has struck me is that despite what you may think, nobody is perfect! ;-) It is a likeminded people of all sizes, creeds and the rest being themselves and generally having a good time.

Of course different places have different themes etc but one thing that is common to all the places Ive been to is that they are non judgemental will not tolerate people being viewed, judged, whatever by their size or body shape.

In my first ventures I was the opposite to you and as a guy I judged myself to be too skinny and may be not fit in with all the perfect bodies there (I too thought that until I got out there! ;-) ) How wrong could I be??? The people there, like in life outside were a vast mixture of all walks of like and every body shape imaginable and I found it brilliant that everyone could get along so well and just enjoy themselves in whatever kink, fetish or sexual preference they had.

I'm on the fetishistic side of things and been to places as a guy and as my TV alter ego and thoroughly enjoyed both sides, indeed it was through this scene that I discovered that I adored BBW's and loved their company .

I was very nervous the first time but once I'd got changed into my leathers and started to mix all inhibitions and doubts were soon things of the past, and remember everyone has a first time and everyone feels the same on that first time.

I'd give you the same advice I'd give to anyone with self doubt about their bodies or looks who is thinking about going to a club. Get in there, look around at all the different people there and then realise you had nothing to worry about!! ;-)

I'm in the North West so cant really advise on the Midlands, but I really do hope you find somewhere to suit you. Good luck and have fun! xx

Hi AH,

I wouldn't worry about your size. You say you're a big girl, but that is subjective. I've known people who think they're huge and unattractive when actually they're gorgeous!

As far as swinging clubs go, I'd recommend going for it! It's terrifying at first, but well worth it. We've never, ever encountered a club where someone was kicked out because of their size. As far as the swinging community goes, that would be a massive sin! You'll find people of all shapes and sizes in clubs!

As far as the Midlands goes, I'd strongly recommend Atlantis in Stoke. It's our local club and incredibly friendly and welcoming.

I've also heard some very good things about Chams in Birmingham. There are lots of women who describe themselves as BBW who can't speak highly enough about the club.

Myself and my OH are on FAB - and it has gone downhill over the past couple of years.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone for the advice and support!

I've bought a few pieces of naughty lingerie to try and convince myself that I'm sexy and so far, it's kind of working. I'll get photos uploaded to my profile when I figure out how to do it :)

I'm still doing research, but I'll take your advice and dive in eventually, but I wouldn't want to go on my own. I've joined Social Swinging, hopefully I can make a few friends on there...I dunno, I'm just rambling now

Dear AH

Firstly: well done on uploading your photo - appreciate thete migjt have been some nerves; but let me say, you look fabulous!

Second: so many of the things I'd say have already been said above. I've been to parties/meets and all were SO welcoming. Don't forget, the brain is the biggest sexual organ - be you and you are likely to be writing a new question: "Help! Too much attention!)

Finally, if you are still a little nervous....I think this is a fabulous article, although it does concentrate on the superficial physical aspect, rather than your personality: http://youqueen.com/love/seduction/do-men-like-curvy-women/

Have fun, and how I wished I was in the WM!

First off, I took a gander at your picture and holy hot. Love that mini dress on you girl. Yes, you are curvy but looks really proportional and pretty to me. Lovely skin tone... own your body, find what you love about it and enjoy yourself regardless if it is in a swining enviroment or just living and embracing life.

No one has a perfect body, if there are things you want to work on do but don't talk down to yourself in the process. Confidence is sexy. I own a lot of lingerie because it makes me feel sexy and confident. Wear it around the house by yourself, snap selfies or whatnot JUST FOR YOU to start.

Hang out naked more if you like at home... but belive me as I say this like a bizarre older sister on this random online community you cant live life on the sidelines. Get out there and only do what you are comfortable with if you do pursue swinging.

I know nothing about swinging but just wanted to say you have a cracking pair of pins AH!!

Wow, I didn't expect so much positive feedback! Thank you!

After I bought that dress, I bought a couple of other pieces of lingy to parade around the house in. I'm going to a club this weekend so hopefully I can make a few heads turn (for the right reasons of course!)

And thank you for that article, Firework. I could understand every point made expect for the one about bums - I actually don't have an bum, I'm flat at the back! I'm all boobs and belly. Hopefully, I can do something with those!

AutumnH wrote:

Wow, I didn't expect so much positive feedback! Thank you!

After I bought that dress, I bought a couple of other pieces of lingy to parade around the house in. I'm going to a club this weekend so hopefully I can make a few heads turn (for the right reasons of course!)

And thank you for that article, Firework. I could understand every point made expect for the one about bums - I actually don't have an bum, I'm flat at the back! I'm all boobs and belly. Hopefully, I can do something with those!

Just belatedly saw your post AutumnH - as someone said, your pic is great!

And as everyone has encouraged you - use what you have been blessed with and enjoy it (them).

My bum is too big - I envy you! I hope you pick this post up sorry it's late.

GV x

GV. Read your own post --- use what you have been blessed with and enjoy. Who said your bum is too big???? It is one of your assets we all admire. Have I not been telling you NOT TO PUT YOURSELF DOWN, you certainly don't deserve it. Your OH loves what you have and I am the 2nd admirer in the line.

GV: I appreciate your post and like Chisel said, enjoy what you have been blessed with. I've joined a very friendly and supportive swinging site and it has done wonders for my own body confidence.

Funnily enough, there's a topic where we were talking about our bodies and our own insecurities. I'll copy and paste my post for you xx

I'm carrying more than a spare tyre, try a muffin basket, cake shelf and chocolate cupboard, and I am always self-concious about my body. We are our own worst critics and everyone's body is normal, beautiful and has a great variety of shapes and sizes.

Being in a club you'll see people, some bigger, some smaller than yourself all with their own personal insecurites. But whilst being there, everyone is accepted for who they are, what they look like, their shape, size, figure, age, skin colour, marmite preference and favourite position.

What we don't like about ourselves, somebody else loves about us. It's a hard thing to accept yourself, it's even harder to be okay with yourself. You, me, we, us are all beautiful people.

AutumnH wrote:

GV: I appreciate your post and like Chisel said, enjoy what you have been blessed with. I've joined a very friendly and supportive swinging site and it has done wonders for my own body confidence.

Funnily enough, there's a topic where we were talking about our bodies and our own insecurities. I'll copy and paste my post for you xx

I'm carrying more than a spare tyre, try a muffin basket, cake shelf and chocolate cupboard, and I am always self-concious about my body. We are our own worst critics and everyone's body is normal, beautiful and has a great variety of shapes and sizes.

Being in a club you'll see people, some bigger, some smaller than yourself all with their own personal insecurites. But whilst being there, everyone is accepted for who they are, what they look like, their shape, size, figure, age, skin colour, marmite preference and favourite position.

What we don't like about ourselves, somebody else loves about us. It's a hard thing to accept yourself, it's even harder to be okay with yourself. You, me, we, us are all beautiful people.

Hi AutumnH, just a reminder to cut and paste that topic you mentioned please. X

Goodvibrationz wrote:

AutumnH wrote:

I'm carrying more than a spare tyre, try a muffin basket, cake shelf and chocolate cupboard, and I am always self-concious about my body. We are our own worst critics and everyone's body is normal, beautiful and has a great variety of shapes and sizes.

Being in a club you'll see people, some bigger, some smaller than yourself all with their own personal insecurites. But whilst being there, everyone is accepted for who they are, what they look like, their shape, size, figure, age, skin colour, marmite preference and favourite position.

What we don't like about ourselves, somebody else loves about us. It's a hard thing to accept yourself, it's even harder to be okay with yourself. You, me, we, us are all beautiful people.

Hi AutumnH, just a reminder to cut and paste that topic you mentioned please. X

Sorry pal, I should've put this in quotation marks or make it a bit more distinctive. But this was my reply to the topic xx

Do an internet search for Elle Chase, she is an educator and activist who focusses on body acceptance and enjoying sex as a person of size. You might find her talks inspirational!