Hello all! It’s been ages since I was here, so I thought I’d share a little story about a sex toy experience! It’s not a sex story though - so if that’s what you’re expecting you’ll be disappointed! I’m hoping someone can relate!!!
I’m currently sat on our bed nervously shaking with adrenaline pumping hard and fast through my veins, having spent an hour preparing for the most terrifying two minutes of my life. You see, my darling fiancée has wanted a swing for about four or so years. To be honest, it’s always seemed like something we’d never use, and like it would be a bit of a faff putting it up. But yesterday I bought the Bondage Boutique Deluxe swing-a-majig
Our house was built in the 1920s - before building control (and measuring tapes apparently...) and our bedroom ceiling has the original 12’ long 2x4 joists. Depending where you look, these will either take 1,000lbs load or fall two pieces when you hang a houseplant from them... And there’s no way of knowing which you have in a house of this age!
So I bought some 2x4 to connect the joists to one another to strengthen the area where I planned to hang the swing. I got my biggest tallest jack-and-the-beanstalk ladder out, and couldn’t get into the sodding loft as it’s not tall enough! “Sod it,” I thought. “I’ll just find the joist, screw the thing in and hope for the best!” Finding the joist and installing the eyescrew in was fairly easy, and I knew I’d accurately found the joist because it became more difficult to screw in the further in it went. Then I hung the swing from the eye. I then stood there thinking “Oh crap... I’ve got to test it now and make sure the ceiling doesn’t come crashing down upon me!” The missus would not be impressed if I demolished our house just before Christmas while she’s at work! (Or at any other time for that matter!)
So, very VERY gingerly, I sat on the swing - whilst keeping a constant death stare on the ceiling! It took a full 90 seconds before I’d completely sat down and raised my feet so the swing and joist were taking my full wait. After another 30 seconds I decided that was terrifying enough for one night, and jumped out! But, I am still here, our ceiling is still in one piece, and when she unwraps her early Christmas present tomorrow she’ll be ecstatic! (She won’t notice the massive eye hook protruding from the ceiling, because I’ll be in bed when she gets back and she doesn’t turn the light on so as to not disturb me.)
Has anyone else been through a similar experience with a swing? How many times did you have to use it before you stopped crapping your pants?? Hahaha!
Hello all! It’s been ages since I was here, so I thought I’d share a little story about a sex toy experience! It’s not a sex story though - so if that’s what you’re expecting you’ll be disappointed! I’m hoping someone can relate!!!
I’m currently sat on our bed nervously shaking with adrenaline pumping hard and fast through my veins, having spent an hour preparing for the most terrifying two minutes of my life. You see, my darling fiancée has wanted a swing for about four or so years. To be honest, it’s always seemed like something we’d never use, and like it would be a bit of a faff putting it up. But yesterday I bought the Bondage Boutique Deluxe swing-a-majig
Our house was built in the 1920s - before building control (and measuring tapes apparently...) and our bedroom ceiling has the original 12’ long 2x4 joists. Depending where you look, these will either take 1,000lbs load or fall two pieces when you hang a houseplant from them... And there’s no way of knowing which you have in a house of this age!
So I bought some 2x4 to connect the joists to one another to strengthen the area where I planned to hang the swing. I got my biggest tallest jack-and-the-beanstalk ladder out, and couldn’t get into the sodding loft as it’s not tall enough! “Sod it,” I thought. “I’ll just find the joist, screw the thing in and hope for the best!” Finding the joist and installing the eyescrew in was fairly easy, and I knew I’d accurately found the joist because it became more difficult to screw in the further in it went. Then I hung the swing from the eye. I then stood there thinking “Oh crap... I’ve got to test it now and make sure the ceiling doesn’t come crashing down upon me!” The missus would not be impressed if I demolished our house just before Christmas while she’s at work! (Or at any other time for that matter!)
So, very VERY gingerly, I sat on the swing - whilst keeping a constant death stare on the ceiling! It took a full 90 seconds before I’d completely sat down and raised my feet so the swing and joist were taking my full wait. After another 30 seconds I decided that was terrifying enough for one night, and jumped out! But, I am still here, our ceiling is still in one piece, and when she unwraps her early Christmas present tomorrow she’ll be ecstatic! (She won’t notice the massive eye hook protruding from the ceiling, because I’ll be in bed when she gets back and she doesn’t turn the light on so as to not disturb me.)
Has anyone else been through a similar experience with a swing? How many times did you have to use it before you stopped crapping your pants?? Hahaha!
Hopefully I've added some spaces in the right places. 🤞🙂 The forum still can't handle paragraphs from a mobile but there's a couple of workarounds in the Tips thread:
As to the swing... I've no experience personally, but I'd seriously consider getting in the loft and reinforcing that beam if there's any chance it's going to snap. Better safe than sorry. 👍
Thanks! That's pretty much how I'd formatted it! I was going to repost from my iMac, but the forum breaks when i attempt to! 
I can't get up there annoyingly, so I'll probably get someone out with a big pair of ladders and more patience! Mind you, if it can take my backside without so much as breaking a sweat, it should be ok!
I would not worry about the grammer. I for one have become accustomed to typing and submitting posts full of grammital era's only to then discover I can not rectify them. Itsall gaod, glud thats everything walked out the ways you inteded regoding the swing ;)
I would love to suspend my partner from the ceiling. A major fantasy of mine. Unfortunately, I'm not sure our ceiling would take it. I also recommend getting into the loft and reinforcing. Sitting on it in perfect stillness is one thing, but once you're going at it hammer and tong, the pressure will be distributed very differently. You don't want the ceiling falling down mid-coitus...
I would stongly reccommend a longer ladder to see where you've screwed it in, remember the load is more when moving and it maybe off center on the beam?
We'd like to do this but its a very different issue with teen age kids " why is that hook in the ceiling"? could put a fake smoke alarm over it?
4 x 2" joists are really only designed to hold ceilings up, not to take a point load like this!
Also, screwing the eye bolt into the bottom of the joist will weaken it at the point it's working hardest. I'd recommend drilling a smaller diameter pilot hole to get the bolt in fully.
8 x 2" fixed to each side along the whole length would be much more like it, I'd say for a 12' span.
I'm no structural engineer, mind.
If you're unsure, you can always get a builder to reinforce it, and show them a picture of one of those cosy suspended designer chairs you 'hope to install'. To spare the blushes. For reading purposes, of course! ;D
Oooh! I'd absolutely LOVE to get in one day and find one of these installed. I'm sure your missus will be thrilled!
I'm normally the first to worry/nag about health and safety and all that but if my OH surprised me with this I wouldn't nag him about a collaped ceiling.
Great idea about the cosy chair when/if you get someone around.
If you decide to try it without checking it I'd suggest a few pillows underneath as a bruised tailbone for Christmas won't be appreciated.
Since I installed it I've swung on it a bit, just to test it (and I'm significantly heavier than my OH - and we'll never both be sat on it as it wont take our combined weight ). I listened very carefully for any noise, and then checked the loft to see what I could see.
Although I can't get in to reinforce the joists (which means we've now got two 2.5m lengths of 2x4 sitting in our kitchen ) I could see that it looks exactly as it did before. No creaking or twisting or anything - not even the dust is out of place!. Still, in the new year I'll be installing a proper loft ladder so I can get up there and reinforce everything just in case.
We wont be testing it until we're well enough anyway, as we're both flued up 
When I went to the timer yard, I asked how much live point load a 12' 2x4 could take, and he didn't have a clue. I don't think he believed me when I said I was getting my fiancee one of those egg-shapped ceiling hanging chairs... He said "Good luck and I hope you both enjoy yourselves!" 
Ooops! Maybe you gave a bit too much info ☺️. The live bit probably tipped them off!
There‘s two main issues with loading up joists; how much weight they will handle, and how much they deflect (bend). Assuming you have plasterboard, or lath & plaster ceilings, bending the joists can easily damage the plasterwork or fixings with repeated loading/unloading because plaster’s inflexible. joining several joists together with another beam will spread the load, or doubling/trebling joist by bolting or screwing bits of timber to the sides of the existing one will help reduce the bending.