.....apart from the amount I spend, of course!
I’m starting to find that as my sexual horizons broaden, I’m feeling increasingly frustrated with my husband. Any suggestions I make, testing waters, so to speak, about pretty much anything we’ve not done before, get shut down with a straight no. The only concession is bondage, and that only happens because I’m the one of the receiving end of it (getting paddled, restrained etc). I’m far more into anal than he is (I’ve pretty much given asking about it and just use my dildo on my own now), and he is vehemently against anything involving other people, male or female, even just watching/ being in the same room as others. Even going to clubs to watch or dogging are just a flat no.
It’s not just that he doesn’t want to try these things right now (we have a toddler and I know he is busy with work), it’s the permanence of the shut-downs, like it will never ever happen. I don’t want regrets when I’m older about not trying things because I need someone else’s permission, but to be honest I don’t think he would be comfortable with me heading out to explore any of my kinks on my own either.
When I ask if there is anything different he wants to try
, the most outlandish thing is having sex in the car, but only then if we could ‘guarantee’ not getting caught. He is in general just a lot more risk adverse than me. Even with the stuff he does say he wants to try, he then does nothing about actually making it happen.
There is so much I would love to try (threesomes, swinging clubs, pegging) even just the once, I just feel so trapped and conflicted. I would never want to coerce him into doing stuff he isn’t comfortable with, but I feel like we are increasingly on different pages in terms of our sexual tastes. I’m tired feeling like I’m having to push to get him to try new things (even if there is every chance he might actually enjoy some of it if he tried) when he seems quite happy just having vanilla sex. Being on the forum has been a real eye-opener for me, hearing about people’s experiences, good and not so good, I just want to try more rather than just reading about what others are doing.
Anyone else been through something similar? I would be really grateful for some thoughts. Thanks.