I have lots of exciting plans and fantasies that have blossomed since joining and purchasing on Lovehoney. Hubby's initial reaction was literally "What on earth has gotten into you?" as it is now a complete change from what I used to be like in the bedroom. I wouldn't say I was ever vanilla, but just hadn't completely discovered this wonderful world yet, which enables you to make most of your fantasies a reality - within reason of course! I know not to overwhelm my hubby as I first did, showing him all I'd brought on Lovehoney. I learned the hard way (scuse the pun!) and realised if he were to be remotely interested in a new realm or two in our sex life, I would have to ease him in very gently. He's not vanilla himself, he's taught me loads in the bedroom, but the bondage fetish was initially quite a shock to him. He gets involved now and meets all my desires being the 'sub' I so willingly am! Communication is key, however I used to be quite shy regarding talking about sex with my hubby (especially as we were going through some stressful situations at the time, which certainly didn't help). I've learned it is important to be honest with my husband, I'd had an OCD lingerie shopping problem at the time and got to the point where I was buying a lot of sexy stuff behind his back. I had very low self-esteem and though it isn't an excuse, I just wanted to make myself feel better. I realise this was not the case and my husband and therapy has helped me a great deal and I'm slowly building up that trust again. I asked for something the other day, which I hadn't done for a month and a half and he said it was ok (as long as I control my shopping habits). That's not so bad at all considering I'm on a 3 month break. I'm not going to take the p*** again and lose my privilege, that's for sure. I love my hubby and I love Lovehoney and everyone that's part of it. I couldn't be more content at the moment. It was awesome when my little package arrived, a real treat! I know how you feel 'Gosig' with regards to what you have said. It's so easy to get carried away, but all you can do is ask your partner what he is into and what he isn't. Believe me, I've had straight 'No's' from my hubby regarding a few things I'd like to do with him and I'm afraid I've just got to accept his wishes and be content with what he has 'become' willing to do, which is fair enough for me! I love the comment on here (from 'K&c30's') about appreciating what you've got and basically the fact that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You could meet someone that you know would be prepared to fulfill your every fantasy with you, but would it really be worth sacrificing your partner for this in the long run??
I certainly know where my bread's buttered and truly wouldn't change it for anything.
I'd rather live my life and have sex with my hubby than anyone else and it's special as we're continuing to grow together. I know I've found the right guy and sometimes you have to compromise whether you like it or not. Some excellent advice on 'hard and soft limits' on here and even if your man comes round to doing just one or two things you desire (for the time being, that's got to be good hasn't it?). Yes, it's healthy and important to address and discuss (both of your) fantasies as a couple, but things like 'dogging' are too much for some to comprehend, let alone put into practice. I certainly know if my hubby tries to do anything that's uncomfortable (the idea of something, or whether It's painful for me), I tell him to stop and he knows that's important. I'm sure you'd want your partner to respect your personal boundaries too. It works both ways, give and take. I hope this helps and thanks for taking the time to read this. Best of luck and warm wishes to you. xx