Oh wow, came upon this article earlier
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2536430/Eye-watering-X-rays-bottle-stuck-mans-rear-hooked-wire-tried-pull-got-trapped-well.html
This is what happens when you don't purchase toys! haha. To be working in A&E and seeing that.
OUCH *eyes watering*
Where an earth do people get these idea's from. It's one thing to think a bottle is a good idea but to then claim you have no idea why you are in pain, seriously did he not want help quickly.
Crazy.
"There's a bottle up my ass....AND some curved wire? No Doctor, I have no idea how it got there" *Innocent face*
So far as a nurse I have seen a deodorant can, an onion and a vibrator in people X-rays. There I also an X-ray of a light bulb on record in our local teaching hopital.
"Hmmm, so I'm thinking of getting myself off... ah look, I can use this onion"
WHAT?!?! WHY?!
how the hell can you get an onion stuck up your rear?
Hazy wrote:
how the hell can you get an onion stuck up your rear?
He clearly fell on a onion when he was cooking naked. Or at least that's probably the story he told.
*makes random pain noises and crosses legs and clenches bum cheeks tightly*
there is a book a doctore wrote and it has all the xrays in it, including a buzz light year stuck up someone am sure its called "stuck up"
yeah i read this aricle ... there is a vicar that claimed he fell on a potatoe aswell whilst hanging curtains nude lol
amen lol ;-)
OMG!
Ouch why oh why lol
Ow ow ow ow ow!
Why would you try to hook it out with wire?!?!
Ouch! I guess there are some that are just way more adventurous than me.
Now that is a pain in the ass lol
So there is a wonderful review paper in the scientific journal 'Surgery' from back in 1986 that is worth a read: it details 182 cases of 'rectal foreign bodies' presenting at hospital. There's a diversity of eye-watering things. My personal favourite is the patient (x-ray included) of a "dull knife" lost up there: when admitted to hospital this patient apparently complained of a "knife-like pain"...... I mean, you're gonna get caught, aren't you?!!!
here's the detail and abstract:
Surgery. 1986 Sep;100(3):512-9.
Rectal foreign bodies: case reports and a comprehensive review of the world's literature.
Busch DB, Starling JR.
Abstract
The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications, and prognosis. Management problems addressed include history, differential diagnosis of reported pruritus ani, and handling of suspected assault. The variety of surgical techniques used to remove rectal foreign bodies transanally or after celiotomy is discussed. Vaginal foreign bodies and large bowel injuries due to fist fornication, colorectal instrumentation, pneumatic rupture, foreign body ingestion, impalement, and abdominal trauma are also discussed.
PMID: 3738771 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
Ouch.
Ouch ouch ouch!!!! 
Along the same lines, more recent, fatal, completely bonkers and possibly worthy of a thread of its own, try this article from the Journal of Forensic Sciences for size:
Autoerotic Fatalities with Power Hydraulics Volume 38, Issue 2 (March 1993)ISSN: 0022-1198
CODEN: JFSOAD
Page Count: 6
Dietz, PE
Clinical Professor, Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences, School of Medicine, University of California, Los Angeles, CA
O'Halloran, RL
Ventura County Medical Examiner Office, Ventura, CA
(Received 1 July 1992; accepted 16 July 1992)
Abstract
We report two cases in which men used the hydraulic shovels on tractors to suspend themselves for masochistic sexual stimulation. One man developed a romantic attachment to a tractor, even giving it a name and writing poetry in its honor. He died accidentally while intentionally asphyxiating himself through suspension by the neck, leaving clues that he enjoyed perceptual distortions during asphyxiation. The other man engaged in sexual bondage and transvestic fetishism, but did not purposely asphyxiate himself. He died when accidentally pinned to the ground under a shovel after intentionally suspending himself by the ankles. We compare these cases with other autoerotic fatalities involving perceptual distortion, cross-dressing, machinery, and postural asphyxiation by chest compression.
--- Hey folks, be careful out there. But your kinks are not even close to being strange! The "clues" referred to include a broom handle attached to the 'down' lever in the cab of the tractor, which should have been clenched between the .... oh, enough of this already....I think that last one must have stunned you all into silence....