Thoughts on lingerie on your OH?

I love to dress up in lingerie, however my partner doesn’t like lingerie. We aren’t very sexually active anymore which is frustrating for me.
Is it me? Ive tried initiating
Are some men generally not interested in lingerie?


I’m not interested in wearing it, but love it on my oh

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My partner would never wear it but he says he just doesnt like women wearing it. Been together a long time now and never worn it for him and wanted to spice it up with the lack of sex.
I dont know if its me or he just not intrested anymore i dont know what to think.

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Me personally, I would have a conversation with him. Communication is always key. We’ve made that must with us, talk, talk and more talk.
Is there anything on his mind? Has anything happened in his life that could of made feel this way?

ive tried the talking and all i get is, ive never liked it.
Ive said but is there a reason and all i get i just dont.
Sex is a big thing for me we went to all the time to never.

I am not into wearing it but like my Mrs wearing them !

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This is where im frustrated as i want to wear it where OH doesnt like me wearing it

Hey @MasterOfSexToys , can imagine it’s difficult for you if you have a high sex drive , desire , wanting new things and getting no positive response or nothing in return.

I personally love lingerie on my OH and she always looks great, she loves it also but very often picks the comfy option over the sexy in the evening etc, which I get or the matching sets are lost in the depth of mountain of wardrobes of clothes :see_no_evil:.

If it makes you feel body confident/ sexy I would just say go with it as it’s your body and what you want… but I guess the difficult thing is the lack of or no intimacy which is what I would say you need to resolve first or understand.

I agree with the other comments it’s about communication and you need to be honest that you want intimacy, to be desired / wanted and you need to know why it’s drifted away , not replicated or wanted.

Not sure of your length relationship/ personal circumstances, but I would say for a happy / healthy relationship you need to understand as you clearly want your OH , want to wear lingerie and want to be intimate.

If he’s proud guy, not open or comfortable in discussing face to face , maybe look at other ways… text message or use the XConfessions app to show you wants which is done secretly and only shows you both the things you both select. If he’s embarrassed about things or something he may not be able to say comfortably or worried about saying.

I’ve edited your title to open it out to more people. :+1: Topics directed at just ‘men’ or ‘ladies’ are to be avoided:

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we been together 6yrs almost, we was very active early on then around 2 years in we started using toys together, he knew i had them and one night he pulled them out. It was going great untill about 3 years then slowly fizzled out, ive been very open told him how i felt, he says he wants me but im tired.

Im starting to think is love enough, i dont want to cheat but in a way i feel neglected. I dont want to force him either.

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Okay, thankyou. I thought people was getting confussed with men dressing up in lingerie but its asking men how they felt about there partners dressing up. I hope that makes sense.

I love it…
You could always just wear it for yourself and I’m sure he might pop his head out of his shell… Hopefully for you

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Absolutely. :+1: However, there will be people of all genders who do or don’t like their partner wearing lingerie (whatever the gender of the wearer as well).

Singling out one gender to ask your question to potentially excludes other members who don’t feel they fit that criteria, and who may have exactly the insight you’re looking for. Keeping the topics ‘open to all’ (as much as practicable) ensures you get a range of opinions from a range of sources, and makes the forum feel like all opinions are welcome. :+1:

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I think pointblank he’s just not interested

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Its natural to want to be wanted and also to have healthy sex life. As much as I would say that cheating is definitely not the option, I equally understand how people can be pushed into the arms of others who give the attention or lust that is craved.

Has there been change in home set up , life , work which has put increased pressures or stress ?

Was there a trigger / change 3 years ago ?

Can you create a once a week date night ? Or weekend away, opportunity to switch off / relax, early tea , relaxing bath and early to bed etc

In busy life’s as much as we love spontaneous, sometime there has to be some planning.

Around the time it changed my dad passed away but i wasnt different i still wanted sex, we was, we have a child which is now older so its hard for her not hearing and waiting to go to sleep.
Works different shifts aswell but its been like that from day one.
Im starting to loose hope.

I want to wear it for my OH but he doesnt want me to.

Do you have any intimacy? and when you do is it good or just like it’s something you both have to do ?

Do you have a good collection of LH toys to help the frustrations :hugs:

It’s one thing I never want to loose in our relationship, but when we have had dry spells , can see how easy it is with busy life , work and feeling tired.

I would suggest having a real honesty chat as it’s sounds like your feeling fed up with it and unless you do something … it’s likely to get worse without communication and understanding.

Does he have a desire ? Solo play that you know of interest in male toys or has everything just stopped for him ?


No intamacy really, when we do its really good.
Lots of toys which satisfies but nothing is better than sex! Or when partner uses them with me.

He told me he hadnt solo played since we got together but out of the blue he admitted in the bathroom twice, my thing is im thinking its me as im always up for it. So why not with me. In a way i feel hurt.

If he’s saying he’s not solo playing / touching then it maybe that he’s just really embarrassed about things or discussing. Does it bother either of you if you have solo played / touched ? Use of porn etc ?

It just sounds like he’s not very open about things , or discussing openly sexual topics … but that could be just big assumption on my part as don’t know him or things clearly as you do.

Do understand though as we both have fear of rejection and if my OH says can I just give you HJ or BJ tonight as she wants to touch me, but not have sex, because of either just before / after :shark: weeks … I instantly fear she doesn’t want me, she clearly does and can see the pleasure she gets from giving. But if I was trying to instigate all the time and just got rejected or not interested response … I would be very worried , feel insecure and what I had done or that my OH no longer wanted or found be sexually attractive,‘equally hurt.

I would be asking straight though to understand why.

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