Just when there was some hope, things go sour. Sitting at breakfast with my OH talking about plans for the day. I asked what she had in mind she came up with making soup, doing laundry, putting up towel hangers and shower curtain bar in the downstairs bathroom, which we just finished remodeling.
After the sex discussions the other day, and our play, where she was able to get two orgasms, and me not, in the back of my mind I thought she might say we could see if I could get satisfaction. However, the subject never came up. Now we head into another busy week with meetings and chores. So energy for her is going to be limited. I did have some hopes we had somehow turned a corner, sexuality, alas, not to be.
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Life does get in the way and unfortunately we cant have sex all the time. Am i right in thinking your wife still works and you are retired? Always the problem if one is retired but the other still has to work.
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She works two days a month, one office day and another as a provider for assesments of disabilities.
I am retired. Yes, life gets in the way. But with an entire day to do as you choose, and the situation from a few days ago for me, I can see where I fit into the mix. If it was the other way around, I would be sure to take time for her.
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Your wife is not a mind reader, you need to voice your wants.
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I agree with @JGood here. You didnât say anywhere that you suggested intimacy to her, you simply came to the forum to complain about her not initiating sex with you, and this isnât the first time in recent history either. You mentioned in a recent post that she works in/with psychology. She might understand psychology, but psychology is not telepathy - she canât read your mind and so she doesnât know what you want. Please, instead of coming to us and complaining about her not initiating sex, bite the bullet and have that chat with her. She - your proclaimed âbest friendâ - deserves much more than you complaining about her to a bunch of internet strangers because of a conversation youâre too afraid to have.
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Really all you needed to say when you asked about her plans for the day was that you had rather hoped you might both have some time together to continue where you left off. It really is not difficult.
I would also say there are occasions when hubby doesnt cum but he just says not to worry about him. We plan in advance when we are going to have some fun, normally a couple of times a week, and he will wait until the next time.
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Honestly, open conversations are key to a healthy relationship. Never expect the other to âknowâ what you are thinking. Tell your wife. It may not be on her mind but if she knows itâs on yours then it can make all the difference
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Iâm glad someone has finally said it 
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Ok, consider me officially spanked for whining here about this. I should have known better. I will add one more thing then I will quit.
Besides being a psychologist, she has a two year degree in mindfulness training. Between those things, and our history, she, if anyone should be able to read the tea leaves. In my previous marriage I had to practically beg for sex, I am not in the mood to go through that again. Sorry if I offended anyone or made myself an ogre.
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That will require a completely different conversation with your wife.
I sincerely hope the two of you do discuss this at some point.
Like you and so many others, I had a terrible sex life with my 1st wife. Sadly, many are in that boat though not everyone is in that boat.
It does take two and you need to find out if your wife is on the same page with you regarding this going forward. If she isnât, you will go through that again.
So, a much more important conversation needs to take place between your wife and you than what are the plans for today, even if it included more sex today for the two of you.
Even if you had sex today, from your comment, it appears as if there is a larger situation at play here between your partner and you and I hope to the two of you will actively address this.
I hope the two of you are able to bridge whatever gap may exist.
I say may because I have very little info here (and Iâm not asking for more mind you, this is your life and not for me to pry into).
I was in the same boat as you in your 1st marriage when I was married to my 1st wife too.
I never want to be in that boat again and itâs my sincere hope youâre never back in that boat again either.
I wish the both of you well, your wife and you.
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She is human knowing those things doesnât mean she is perfect in a relationship,and often when people are in a close relationship they are a bit oblivious to whats going on. This is why you should be talking to her,she can then probably step back herself and assess the situation.
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Mindfulness is not mind reading, itâs a therapeutic practice of being present in our body instead of being wrapped up in our thoughts. The qualification is likely so she can help people cope with conditions like depression and anxiety, not so she can read peopleâs minds.
I suggest you take some time to understand therapeutic practices, including mindfulness. None of it is about being able to read minds.
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From her explanation of mindfulness, it means being aware of your surroundings, and your relationship of universe around you, not to analyze it, but to acknowledge its presence. You cannot be present and aware, yet totally aloof at the same time. For me, here is an example. She was moving around the kitchen just a while ago. It was obvious to me she was going to prepare soup for tonight. I recognized the situation and asked if she wanted help with the preparation, and she said yes. I did not need to be a savant to figure it out, just be aware of the situation. Thatâs all Iâm saying. Maybe her brain just doesnât get indirect clues, though in my experience she is very aware and bright, more often and better than me. I still do need to be more direct with her about this issue. I do not want to do it when I am upset about it, because I may say something that is unkind, making the matter worse.
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Ok so correct me if Iâm wrong, but Iâm reading this as you making the comparison between you having inner desires/urges to have sex with your wife (not visible to your Mrs) to her making soup in the kitchen (visible to you).
To be fair, what is not visible to her (your thoughts/feelings) will be much more difficult for her to respond to if they arenât being talked about.
Whilst your offer to help prepare soup is kind hearted, Iâm struggling to find it a relevant comparison, unless she were to visually see you helping her whilst sporting a proper stiffy (which may have opened the lines of communication to something you desire) then I canât see the comparison being a fair one. Other than that communication is the way forward man, like many have said already.
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So let me see if I get this right. You, or any man was never asked by their wife if they wanted to have sex, unless they were either sporting a boner, or come right out and asked ? If that is the case, half of the world would never have sex. The soup analogy was just an example of how I sense her needs without her actually asking , thatâs all I saying.
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You having a boner was just one example I used of something visual she would be able to seeâŚyour thoughts feelings she cannot.
My Mrs doesnât need to see me having a stiffy to initiate sex her end of things (that wasnât what I was saying or implying for myself - or all men for that matter)âŚor sheâll either just say sheâs horny or ask am I up for a bit. Weâre open and honest that way⌠weâll just say when weâre both feeling it. I get, that clearly, thatâs not going to be everyoneâs experienceâŚI donât want to make any assumptions about your relationship, I just feel that from this post and previous ones that there may be some underlying issues you need to open up about and chat over with your Mrs.
Hope Iâve managed to clear what I meant up 
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You seem rather focused on the idea that she should be the one to initiate sex. Iâm just wondering why that is?
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Each post you put; Iâm always left perplexed at how easy you find talking about your wife without her knowledge. Nothing will change, until you change your thinking and attitude.
Your either trolling or enjoy the attention from members at this point. Itâs been nearly 3 weeks..
Youâve been given so much invaluable advice yet your still here reverberating the same things 
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Avoidance would be my personal guess, given the previous posts, but youâre right: nothing will change unless you make the change.
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Yeah possibly but then the avoidance could easily happen offline. The satisfaction from posting it and doing updates, seems very likely 
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