Hello all. In a wonderful loving marriage and we have re-ignited our sexual side. I do have a question. I, as a male am having a more challenging time climaxing during traditional missionary sex. I just don’t seem to have quite enough stimulation. I have a wonderful time being with my wife but to get the job done I have to take matters into my “own hands”. Any suggestions for getting more traction and stimulation?
Whenever I’ve experienced this it’s been due to consuming too much porn and / or masturbating solo.
If you do either of these then consider cutting back and see what happens.
We find different positions stimulate us each differently.
Positions where we grinding rather than thrusting seem to generally hit better for us both.
Or a pillow under the bum for missionary type positions or a couple under the tum for rear entry give a deeper closer ‘rub’ for us both.
Great reason to try out lot of different positions!
When having sex in the missionary position, if the OH gets too wet, then the sensation tends to dip and it becomes more difficult to achieve orgasm, at this point we tend to deploy her wand, as her vagina experiences contractions due to her orgasm, that is usually enough to tip me over the edge also.
Just a reminder, you may want to edit your question to keep it open to everyone, in line with the forum rules
As @ApolloSwallow said, if missionary isn’t doing it for you, you could try adding to or changing your position. Lovehoney has a whole selection of sex positions for you to try. Good luck!
Penetrative vaginal sex is a rare event for us now (we have many other varied alternatives) but, like you I find difficulty coming in missionary (or its variants) and cowgirl but I can always come in doggy.
As @ApolloSwallow and sounding off @Tenshadesandme different positions are always useful and fun to try.
You or your wife could always hold on to the shaft of your cock as you have sex and effectively have masturbatory sex while having sex.
Don’t forget talking to each other too a naughty word here and there to keep the engine running in high gear for you both.
I wouldn’t know what you mean. Hubby has never threatened to gag me because my vocabularly can be maybe a little too filthy, honest
As others said, if you’re watching a lot of (any?) porn or masturbating, knock that off.
Next, if missionary’s not doing it for you… don’t stay in missionary? Mix it up.
Our default version of missionary is a variation where my (husband) legs are on the outside of my wife’s and her legs are closed (usually for entry it’s more traditional missionary with her legs open, she guides me in, then I lift my legs over one at a time so she can close hers. My body is then oriented slightly higher (toward her head) and the motion is more grinding than thrusting. When all is aligned well it’s a very tight squeeze around my shaft AND my penis head is pretty directly stimulated in the back of her vagina. This variation is also much better for her to get her hand in there and masturbate so that we cum together (her preference).
Our second most common position - and the go-to when I’m not cumming readily - is for her to lay flat on her belly with her legs together and I come from behind. With her legs closed it’s a tight squeeze, I usually find the rhythm for a fast orgasm with perfect stimulation of my frenulum/underside of head and shaft gliding on her g-spot, and pushing against the cushion of her bum always feels amazing. It’s a low effort position for her, but with a little flexing and wiggling of her hips she can also play with the angles or push back as much or as little as she wants to be engaged for a really exciting ride.
A couple other questions: is your wife having the orgasms she wants to have? Is she bothered at all by your “performance”? How old are you? Could age/health be a factor? Is it always a problem for you, or just sometimes? You mention missionary specifically, but do you use other positions and is it a problem there?
Final thought… how often do you have sex and masturbate? Could be a refractory issue and maybe you just need more time to recover. The more you give yourself a hand to finish every time you’re together, the more you are conditioning yourself to need that firm grip. Might just need to take some time where you just don’t get to cum until you can cum together if that’s what you’re shooting for. Instead of making it a frustration you could try to turn it into an edging game where she gets to tease you mercilessly and sex is done when she’s cum as she wants and if you don’t cum with her you have to wait until the next time.
There are many factors to that could play apart if this. How’s your health? Do you look at porn often? How often do you masturbate?
I agree with @rockstar as far as doggy style goes. I can come in the missionary position, but if I feel it’s been going awhile and wife is about done, doggy style will make me cum almost instantly after entering her….. hope this helps.
Oh sorry - didn’t mean to be exclusionary at all.
No worries, I just thought it best to remind you of the rules before your post gets edited by a mod
Vibrating cock ring ? For.pleasuring both of you or Vibrating butt plug for you … at a guess
I have a vibrating cock ring love it. Wanting to try a butt plug
I have never really gotten why men need to masturbate sole when they have a partner… IF I ever get a women masturbation solo will stop for me and hopefully I’ll forget what solo masturbating is and feels like. Plus even when I want to masturbate and have a partner, I wont as I’ll be saving myself for her.
What exactly is the missionary position you typically use?
Are you face to face in your hands n knees for example?
This isn’t always the best position so try mixing it up a little
I prefer to kneel between my wife’s legs and penetrate her
It’s a lot more visual so for guys adds to the excitement
I love opening up her inner labia with my fingers and slowly watching my glans enter between them
You can look at her breasts and look her in the eye too like this
Then you can pull up her legs or lean over and snog and other variations from here
It’s just a different experience.
I enjoy sex. I enjoy mutual masturbation. I enjoy solo masturbation. I enjoy all the things in between.
Rubbish analogy alert, but if I could have my favourite meal every day then of course that’d be amazing, but I’d still want the odd quick and dirty McDonald’s every now and again for a bit of variety and because I still enjoy it.
Why limit myself to just one of these things when within reason I can have them all.
I concur with @LRLRL , the two positions he mentioned are ones we use regularly. Just that extra tightness, and closeness, does add to what probably falls under “traditional” sex (if there is such a thing).
I can take a long time to orgasm too, but these positions are very successful, almost always leading to mutual climax.
But have fun trying everything! Most positions are variations on a theme really, but you may come (pun intended) across something that just works for you both.