Has anyone got any hints or tips that can help me bring an orgasm to a head a can't seem to stop tensing and I become very frustrated. On occasion when I do manage it's fantastic but that's few and far between these days, I can squirt on occasion if g spot stimulated enough but it feels like I never seem to get there most times. And after I squirt I dry out very quickly so no pleasure if I have dry love tunnel. I have bought toys a clot vibrator and remote love egg have used separately and together but it does nothing. If hubby is real forceful it can be accomplished but I end up in agony for days. There's got to something else I can try. Help appreciated its getting me down and all I want is for hubby to have me writhing .
Hi there, Perhaps you could try doing some other things apart from penetration for a while - try not to force things, and build up slowly - a slow sensuous massage for each other, oral sex etc. Also do you use a lubricant? It really does make everything so much more comfortable. You could try some flavoured lubes for oral sex too - Lovehoney do a great range - I also highly recommend Sliquid lubes too - see below: xx
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/lubricants/flavoured-lubes/lovehoney/all/all/all/all/
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/brands/sliquid/
Scared'lil'pussy wrote:
Has anyone got any hints or tips that can help me bring an orgasm to a head a can't seem to stop tensing and I become very frustrated. On occasion when I do manage it's fantastic but that's few and far between these days, I can squirt on occasion if g spot stimulated enough but it feels like I never seem to get there most times. And after I squirt I dry out very quickly so no pleasure if I have dry love tunnel. I have bought toys a clot vibrator and remote love egg have used separately and together but it does nothing. If hubby is real forceful it can be accomplished but I end up in agony for days. There's got to something else I can try. Help appreciated its getting me down and all I want is for hubby to have me writhing .
Hi there. We were bordering on a similar situation a week or two ago so my OH bought a very slim 3 1/2 inch vibrator (7ins long) with a tapered tip from LH and with lots of lube and some patience it worked. One vibrator we originally bought was 5 1/2 inches round and no way was that going in!
Even now it takes some oral and a little finger action at the back - but more often than not I get there.
Really hope it works out for you.
GV XX
Lube, lube, lube! I can not recommend it enough.
There's no reason for you to go without pleasure when this exists. Simply apply some to his penis and a little to yourself and you're good to go. It can honestly be a lifesaver when you're suffering from vaginal dryness and it also makes sex feel so much better in my opinion. I would recommend any by Sliquid.
As for the tensing, do you know why this is? Could it be down to stress from daily life? Worrying about being dry or in agony from forceful/rough sex? Or could it be that you're worrying about not being able to get off? If you can work out the reasons as to why you've started to tense up during play, you can hopefully work on sorting those things out and getting back on track :)
Scorpious12 I have two lubes that use when using toys both from lovehoney http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31586 http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=7163 As I said only used for toys, I've a feeling a lot of my problems is down to stress as off work. Getting very annoyed all I want is my sex life to be the way it was. Thinking of getting a more powerful you what would you suggest.Goodvibrationz wrote:
Scared'lil'pussy wrote:
Has anyone got any hints or tips that can help me bring an orgasm to a head a can't seem to stop tensing and I become very frustrated. On occasion when I do manage it's fantastic but that's few and far between these days, I can squirt on occasion if g spot stimulated enough but it feels like I never seem to get there most times. And after I squirt I dry out very quickly so no pleasure if I have dry love tunnel. I have bought toys a clot vibrator and remote love egg have used separately and together but it does nothing. If hubby is real forceful it can be accomplished but I end up in agony for days. There's got to something else I can try. Help appreciated its getting me down and all I want is for hubby to have me writhing .
Hi there. We were bordering on a similar situation a week or two ago so my OH bought a very slim 3 1/2 inch vibrator (7ins long) with a tapered tip from LH and with lots of lube and some patience it worked. One vibrator we originally bought was 5 1/2 inches round and no way was that going in!
Even now it takes some oral and a little finger action at the back - but more often than not I get there.
Really hope it works out for you.
GV XX
God didn't even post that right. Sorry.
You can use lube as well during sex with your partner, and not just with sex toys. And it would probably help to relax and not focus too much on orgasming or being too dry etc. Probably easier said than done, but try not to be frustrated about it. If you manage to squirt and find yourself drying out after, then take a break from penetration and move on to other things until you recover. Take things slowly and as they happen, there are lots of different things you can do during play :)
You didn't mention your age, but if you are postmenopausal and constantly having pain during sex, it's probably worth a trip to the doctor's. They can help with oestrogen creams etc. if that's the case. Also not sure what "more powerful" thing you're looking for?
Captainmeow, thanks for the reply, I'm 43 and have always been quite dry, never seems to feel really wet at any point. Think we will start using the lube from now on for all aspects of play and full on penetration. The pain only occurs if I'm on top of him but we kinda know that we shouldn't do it that way but it gives the rush and push over the edge. If we do it cowboy style it doesn't occur but if I face him and on top there's a 95% chance I'm going be in pain. Been to doctors over the years about it and it's because of the way everything has shifted after having children. But doesn't warrant any further intervention. So I'm meant to behave and not sit on top. The more powerful toy I was thinking of was something that would ramp the vibration up for clit and vagina stimulation cause hubby can't maintain pressure due to joint inflammation in wrists. Sorry to go on but I'm needing a bit of pleasure to take the burden off and they do say that an orgasm gives off endorphins of sensual pleasure. Just can't go into detail why I'm off work to begin with, just wish I could talk to someone who doesn't belong to my family.captainmeow wrote:
You can use lube as well during sex with your partner, and not just with sex toys. And it would probably help to relax and not focus too much on orgasming or being too dry etc. Probably easier said than done, but try not to be frustrated about it. If you manage to squirt and find yourself drying out after, then take a break from penetration and move on to other things until you recover. Take things slowly and as they happen, there are lots of different things you can do during play :)
You didn't mention your age, but if you are postmenopausal and constantly having pain during sex, it's probably worth a trip to the doctor's. They can help with oestrogen creams etc. if that's the case. Also not sure what "more powerful" thing you're looking for?
What vibrators are you currently using? That would be really helpful for us to know so we can recommend something with more power :)
NatandTom am currently using a clot stimulator and a remote vibrating love egg. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28041 http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36377 I've tried them separately and together but all I get is tinged from them.NatandTom wrote:
What vibrators are you currently using? That would be really helpful for us to know so we can recommend something with more power :)
The We-Vibe Tango is my personal fav for strong vibrations http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30320
I find the vibrations with this one really deep and rumbly, and quiet enough for me. It's also rather pinpoint. If you want something just as strong + quiet, but with broader stimulation, the We-Vibe Touch has the same motor as the Tango, just in a different body http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30319Â
If noise isn't an issue and you just want loads of strength, or you prefer broader stimulation, wands are probably the way to go!
Thank you Captainmeow, I will certainly look into all suggestions, hoping I can find something that treats both of us and it may stop me feeling I'm letting hubby down. Even though he has told me hundreds of times that I'm not. Just need to focus as hubby says and forget what's happening in my life just now as we can't change it.captainmeow wrote:
The We-Vibe Tango is my personal fav for strong vibrations http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30320
I find the vibrations with this one really deep and rumbly, and quiet enough for me. It's also rather pinpoint. If you want something just as strong + quiet, but with broader stimulation, the We-Vibe Touch has the same motor as the Tango, just in a different body http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30319If noise isn't an issue and you just want loads of strength, or you prefer broader stimulation, wands are probably the way to go!
Hi, is this something that happened recently? I'm in my late forties and most of my peers are using lots and lots of lube. Yes a little messy but who cares.
@NatandTom, I agree with you. I can never recommend enough!
It's got worse recently since I've been off work sick, but tried lube last night and was much easier. Still no orgasm though.4Uonly wrote:
Hi, is this something that happened recently? I'm in my late forties and most of my peers are using lots and lots of lube. Yes a little messy but who cares.
@NatandTom, I agree with you. I can never recommend enough!
If the Tango is out of your price range at the moment then there's the Motörhead/Motley Crue Classic Vibrators. They are friendly to a budget but still pretty powerful.
Alternatively there are clitoral gels and balms that can increase sensitivity so applying some before using a vibrator could help out with achieving an orgasm.
Thanks NatandTom a lot of stuff out of price range at moment so if anything I could try is the gels or balms and use with clit vibrator I have just now. Thanks for trying to help me.NatandTom wrote:
If the Tango is out of your price range at the moment then there's the Motörhead/Motley Crue Classic Vibrators. They are friendly to a budget but still pretty powerful.
Alternatively there are clitoral gels and balms that can increase sensitivity so applying some before using a vibrator could help out with achieving an orgasm.
Do you take antihistamines? They are in some cold and flu remedies also some sleeping tablets plus of course hay fever remedies. They work by drying everything up so can affect everything! Having babies shouldn't really affect your sex life unless you had major complications and pain after sex should be investigated properly. Hike this helps. Xxxx
Naughtybad only meds I'm on are high blood pressure and stomach acid control tablets, been on hbp tabs 7 weeks and stomach tabs 4 months. Been checked out and no obvious signs of disturbance or reasoning behind drying out but did have complications after 2 of my kids but they have no affect on the drying out, pain comes from where my womb lies. Have been using the water based lube for last two nights and the effect has been a lot better, not drying out as much and just add a bit more if I do, but finding it does seem to stimulate my own juices a bit more so things improving that way.Naughtybad wrote:
Do you take antihistamines? They are in some cold and flu remedies also some sleeping tablets plus of course hay fever remedies. They work by drying everything up so can affect everything! Having babies shouldn't really affect your sex life unless you had major complications and pain after sex should be investigated properly. Hike this helps. Xxxx
Can you cum by yourself? I would definitely take some time alone and explore yourself again. Get relaxed, get some lube and get playing. I think you and your husband are putting too much pressure on getting the "O". I find that sometimes if I know my husband is expecting me to cum I find it harder and I can't always perform. Can you even have a glass or 2 of wine before? Just to try and relax and take the pressure off? I honestly think you should stop trying for a while and just focus on relaxing. Maybe tease each other for a few days before trying again.
Hellobubbles yes I can cum by myself, I understand what you are saying I think you may be right, I am not performing because I'm desperate to keep hubby happy due to me being very stressed it's just getting worse. So we not concentrating as much on penetration but trying more massage and foreplay if it leads to penetration so be it but we not forcing the issue. We are using a lot more lube to help everything along.Hellobubbles wrote:
Can you cum by yourself? I would definitely take some time alone and explore yourself again. Get relaxed, get some lube and get playing. I think you and your husband are putting too much pressure on getting the "O". I find that sometimes if I know my husband is expecting me to cum I find it harder and I can't always perform. Can you even have a glass or 2 of wine before? Just to try and relax and take the pressure off? I honestly think you should stop trying for a while and just focus on relaxing. Maybe tease each other for a few days before trying again.