Turned a corner

Hello all,

Some time ago i posted about how i was reluctant to take the plunge into a sexual relationship if i met a new guy. Anyway, i did meet a new guy about 2 months back, we took things slowly, spent quite a lot of time together before even having sex.

But i must say he is so considerate in the bedroom, ive never known any partner give me the attention he does. When im with him im relaxed all the worries from the past are forgotten, and he is a giver. We sent some saucy messages and he mentioned wanting to make me squirt. Well previous sexual partner hadnt even engaged in foreplay let alone giving me a night to remember, but we tried it at the weekend and boy did he manage it.

The only 'problem' we have (its not a problem just requires practice (DRAT)) is he enjoys doggy, but i dont have the strength/stamina for it, if he pushes my top half down my legs give way. I dont know if this is due to weak hips after children or just because ive never done it this way i honestly dont know what to do.

I know and understand the basics of doggy, but the practice it just goes wrong, now id like to figure out where im going wrong so he can have the sex he'd like as at the moment its all about what i like. I also find if he is going fast he pushes me up the bed. The only time we got anywhere was with my feet on the wall beside the bed, (me kneeling on the bed him standing) but he still feels he is going up hill. What am i doing wrong. Incidently we are similar heights, dont know if that makes a difference. Any advice or help would be greatful, and a big thank you to your comments before giving me the confidence to try again. Geebee

Try Putting some pillows up under your pillow to take your weight then you won't have to put so much weight on you legs and hips x

Try Putting some pillows up under your pillow to take your weight then you won't have to put so much weight on you legs and hips x

If you don't have that strong and flexible hips it might help to have your leg closer together rather than so far apart. If that makes sense. As well as the pillows.

Or what about if you face the wall, you can put your hands against it so you don't get pushed up the bed ? Getting pushed up the bed just happens though haha, when my partner and I have sex sometimes we just have to readjust. Xx

How about a wedge - something like this to keep your hips up: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=27419

I find pushing against the wall with my hands stops me from travelling up the bed. (Think of a 'child in pose' yoga position with my arms outsretched).

If my guy pushed my top half down I would probably collapse in a heap too! lol

Erm, you want him to be kneeling or standing behind you, with his hands grabbing at your hips so he can use his own arms to, kind off, "pull" himself into you, while pulling you back slightly at the same time and then use his own his to back out. If this is making sense. If he is leaning over you, putting his weight onto you then yup, you will ebentually feel the strain of that and collapse hehe. Although, doing that can be fun and isnt "wrong" but if it is causing you issues then he needs to straighten up (Literally, not figuratively lol) and not put any weight onto you or push you down in any way, literally grab at your hips and use his own momentum to pull you back into him rather than consistently push forward and not pull you back as well, otherwise you will end up being nudged up the bed. You can stop this happening by using your own arms and hands out in front of you slightly, or even just lay the top half of your body down on the bed, bum up, and use your forearms flat on the bed to create some leverage. He could also try not banging into you so hard that you end up moving forward, especially if he isnt going to hold on to you as extra leverage, if that makes sense? he can still go fast but it is the impact that will make you shift forwards.

If none of that works, then you can try it standing up, you bent over with your arms against the wall or door, he grabs your hips, any way that you can get your arms against something will stop the forward moving but will still put stress on your arms and if you are a bit weak (I am, I have a disability) and cannot hold that, then its up to him to help by either grabbing your hips and moving you or by not banging so hard into you.

Hope some of that helps! xx

I'm happy that you feel so good in this new relationship!

I agree with the others, doggy is one of my favs but I have to have my hands out infront pushing against the wall! I'm not sure about the strength/hips, but it took me a while to get used to holding the right position, which for me is on my knees on the bed, arse in the air and face down on the pillows, with my palms against the wall :) Hope this helps!

How about something like this to see if it helps:

I agree with the others about pillows too x

I've just read your previous post about your old relationship, it sounded awful! I'm so happy you finally found someone who will treat you with some respect. Congratulations.

Have you tried doing doggy with your hands against a wall? Or with him standing on the floor and you being on the bed?

This may also be a help for you....


It's a strap that goes around your waist that he holds from behind you, so he has something to hold onto without having to put too much pressure on you. Because it pulls you back it will also take away the strain on your arms. I have it myself, and I've got a review on there. Have a read of the different reviews and see if you think it could help you.

Hope that helps :)

Thank you all, as always someone knows the right thing to enhance doggy, i will definatly be getting one of the straps.

I will try with hands against the walls, hopefully as we both are child free this weekend we can 'practise' to our hearts content.

Thank you all again for the helpful replies


Yes them straps are very good.

Me and my partner had a bit of the same problem due to him being heavy built and me being very small and quite skinny. But that strap sorted it all out. =)

Yes them straps are very good.

Me and my partner had a bit of the same problem due to him being heavy built and me being very small and quite skinny. But that strap sorted it all out. =)

If the wall doesn't work, try the stairs. Stairs are the only way I've found with a man close to my height. Stand or kneel on a low step and use a step in front of you to brace yourself in whatever position is most secure and comfortable for you. Put a pillow under and/or in front of your knees if that helps. If you don't have stairs, maybe you can imagine the scenario and find another way to approximate it. But stairs are good because there are plenty of height options for both hands/arms and knees/feet and they're sturdy.

If he's pushing you up the bed, that's probably (in my experience at least) because of the way he's doing it rather than what you're doing. Like maybe he's using his weight rather than his muscles to thrust. The suggestions that he pulls you back as he moves forward or uses a strap are both ways to counter that. Maybe he can look at what he's doing and change his technique a bit as well.