Turning fantasies into reality. Your experience?

Sex Tips & Talk
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MrsSmith and I have been married for almost a decade and we’ve always had a good sex life. It’s certainly went up a couple of notches since finding LoveHoney! I’ve always been quite conservative in the bedroom and my other half often remarks about how different she feels with me (both physically and emotionally), compared to her previous partners.

Lately we’ve been talking about fantasies… Mine is a pretty normal MFF. I think that’s given for most red blooded males. She often talks about having a lesbian experience, a quick fling with a stranger, being tied/blindfolded or being watched. During our intimate chats I asked her about previous sexual partners (something never discussed before) and I was really surprised at how wild she was before meeting me. She was my one and only intimate experience (so I’ve nothing to compare it to). She assures me that the first time we did anything was one of the best experiences she had, and she thought I was joking about loosing my virginity because of how good it was.

She’s told me about having friends with benefits, enjoying one night stands, going out wearing sexy underwear simply to fulfil primal needs for pleasure, attending house parties where people watched her with another man on top of a bed, and passionately exploring the body of a flirty colleague in an office during a work do. I get the sense that she really likes the riskiness of it all. This really surprised me, as I never imagined her like this. What surprised me more it was such a turn on. The thought of her flirting, and getting physical, with other men hasn’t left my head since. It’s something I’d love her to experience again, and I’ve said (as long as we both communicate and it’s consensual) it’s fair game.

Out of curiosity, have any of you had fantasies become reality? What did you do to make that happen? Would you impart any advice? And, probably the most important question… was it as expected or a disappointment filled with regret?

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Yes, many eg threesomes, foursomes, an orgy, the first time I face f**ked a girl whilst also being rimmed, being blown at a sex club, being blown by two women at once in a public bar. I’m likely forgetting many.

To answer your question better I’d probably need to write more of an essay and put more thought into it, or you be more specific. But here are some general stuff:

My ‘advice’? The vast majority of these were with strangers, few were with my wife. It’s different when it’s with a partner… for many obvious reasons. It kind of depends which fantasy you’re doing as the advice may differ, but either way the most important thing is communication. Before, during, and after, and always checking in on her. And really pay attention to her as it’s happening to ensure they’re having a good time. Also keep an open mind, as it probably won’t go quite as you expect when you’re dealing with other human beings with their own feelings and wants and desires too. This won’t be a porno you’re directing exactly as you want.

How did I make it happen? Well, with strangers it kind of just happened, and I probably don’t need to give much detail on this. With the wife it needed communication in advance, to find out what she was into, what she wanted, didn’t want, why she did and didn’t want things, to set parameters of what’s a green/amber/red light, what can I and can’t I do, and also discuss what I’m comfortable and not comfortable with. You hear all too often of people doing things and having bad experiences that turn them off for life, and it seems to me it boils mostly (but not always) down to poor communication before, during, or after. And I want to give us the best shot at success, and try to (as best as possible) minimise any bad experiences.

Was it as expected? Not really. But that’s not a bad thing. We’d not done the things we’ve done together before. I’d done them with strangers, but never a partner, let alone a wife. So I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, how I’d feel or quite how I’d react other than that I loved the ideas… and neither had she. The things we have done were incredibly positive experiences and we intend to do them again, but I wouldn’t say they went as we thought they would. But we kept an open mind, we’d already discussed parameters and I had a good understanding of what she was ok with and not ok with (again, because we’d spoken about it properly beforehand) and we improvised.

We learned a lot about ourselves and eachother and now more things are on the table for future instances off the back of it.

I’m sure that some experiences won’t be as great, but as with anything in life you need to be willing to either roll the dice, or risk never knowing. It depends on your and your partner’s appetite for risk.

Sorry, I rambled. Hope that helps.

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The only one I can think of is my medical play kink. It’s going to take a bit to explain this, so bear with me.

I had/have a kink for being “subjected”; a fantasy of being tied down and spoken about, rather than to. in this fantasy, I’d be known only as “subject” or “patient” - it was about a sense of a full lose of control.

So for me, for whatever reason, that was hot, and I really wanted to explore it.

Time came, and I really enjoyed it and got quite turned on, feeling things and a loss of control. I went deep into subspace, to the point I barely remember some of what I said or if I confessed anything. I barely remember that I really, really wanted to give him oral. He said not yet; he wanted to push me further, make me really want him.

Here’s the awkward part: I somehow fell asleep :joy: I woke up in the morning, still in bed and with a whole heap of regret. He won’t do it since because he doesn’t want me dozing off again :joy:

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I think that pretty much all of my previous fantasies have been turned into reality over the years but obviously as our desires and kinks evolve new fantasies appear.

Currently, as my feminisation increases, my only remaining fantasy is to take a real cock in my mouth and my ass but I doubt that it will ever happen now.

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It’ll happen if you want it to, you’ve lived out all your other fantasies, why not that one.

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It would require my wife’s permission and I know that would be a step too far for her.

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Fair enough @rockstar. We both sound pretty lucky to have very tolerant wives, you get to learn where the boundaries are, but the boundaries change as you get older I think.

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Yes, true fantasies I presume. None could be forced and seemed to vary in the reality of how much of a turn on they were in real life. It was a matter of waiting for the right people and/or opportunity. None were bad, some were less than expected, but others blew my mind and remain on the do-over list to this day.

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Wow….some hardcore experiences here! :grimacing:
Mine’s pretty tame by comparison.
In a word……sploshing.
We’d tried playing with whipped cream, honey and so on but only ever in small dribbles and dollops here and there.
Always joked about how crazy it’d be to really go for it and get totally messy so after a few weeks of “Bet you wouldn’t……Bet I would” wind-ups we had a think about the practicalities of it, Googled a couple of sploshing guides (yep, there is such a thing!) and went shopping.
Large inflatable pool and a ton of yummy stuff later and we were pouring jugs of custard over each other, squishing cakes in to faces, smearing syrup on bums, boobs and cock, giggling like kids before getting down to some slippery, sticky but ultimately amazing sex.

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At the risk of sounding dull and unambitious, compared with some responses here: are you sure you need to turn the fantasies into reality?

My wife and I have only ever had sex with each other, and although I have lots of fantasies, including some very kinky ones, the bottom line is our (very good) sex life is mostly because of this deep loyalty and commitment to each other, which we have become increasingly glad that we have preserved.

We know we should probably be in a museum, but it works for us.

Although your wife is much more experienced than you, you still have the potential to hang on to exclusivity (if that’s the right word) by only ever having sex with each other from now on.

I hope this doesn’t sound like evangelising for monogamy - we are extremely open-minded and absolutely do not disapprove of other couples involving other people in their sex lives if it suits their relationship.

But resisting temptation, and knowing you can, can be an aphrodisiac too.

Every fantasy is still a turn-on, even if it never becomes reality. Our latest idea is to fantasise about bisexual and group sex, even though it will never happen in real life - and the fact that we are apparently the least promiscuous couple you could meet and yet can be really dirty in private adds to the fun.

A few years ago, when we were in our fifties, we found that it is possible to be on the swinging scene, despite being committed to not even touching other people. It still let us turn certain fantasies into reality, ie voyeurism and exhibitionism.

One turn-on was being within reach of others but effectively out-of-touch - so near and yet so far. Another one was being as tempted as it is possible to get - and yet not only resisting, but being 100 per cent sure nothing could tempt us. That is hard to explain, but it really was a huge turn-on, and made even hornier by the fact that only a small minority of couples have ever experienced it (or could ever experience it).

So, the short version of our advice is: don’t jump in; unfulfilled fantasies can be powerful too, and there are things out there that you probably haven’t even thought of (yet) that can be a huge turn-on, in ways you haven’t yet imagined.

Once again: this is not meant as a judgement on others, or to say you would be making a mistake if you pursued some of the fantasies you talked about.

It’s just to say there are plenty of other options and - most importantly - there is no rush, especially when it comes to making decisions about things that can’t be undone.

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Some beautiful, erotic fantasies there!
I have a penchant for soft, tie, bondage, vintage nylons, stockings, heels. So can relate to your fantasies.

Done the tie and tease so many times. I can remember many years ago a friend and his partner were in an expensive hotel near Chippenham, she had an erotic fantasy about being totally helpless and be in the presence of a stranger. The scene was set for an erotic night.

I met him in the bar and went back to the room. I found his partner tied to the upright of a four poster bed, a ballgag in her mouth and a pink silk scarf blindfold tied over her mouth. Her sexy figure was complemented by a white basque, lace time stockings and matching heels. You can finish the story:)

Another friend told me she loved soft gags and blindfolds. She says something about surrendering, feeling total helplessness, not seeing the next move made her so horny. She said to biting on silk, mewing and moaning, unable to cry out made her so aroused as well.

We’d often play out a sexy scenario; her husband, her and me would meet in a hotel bar. We’d let the sexual tension build up and I’d take her alone to my room. I’d seduce her to her stockings and heels, take her to bed, take a silk scarf and tie it round her eyes. I’d touch, tease her all over until the inevitable happened. And often I’d hold the mobile phone to her mouth. If she was wearing a soft gag I’d pull it down and with the blindfold full on I’d call her hubby and she would describe her sexy predicament. Then he’d hear her orgasm. He’d then join us!

All fun times!
I did have an ex once who had a fantasy of being on all fours blindfolded and used by several strangers. For safety I was to select 4 or so horny men, men she wouldn’t see. But we weren’t brave enough to go through with that one!

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I fantasized for years about having my wife have sex with other men. My wife is pretty sexually conservative, so I never dreamed that she would indulge.

One morning after a hard night of drinking, we were both still buzzed, and I brought it up to her.

She thought about it for several weeks, and finally agreed to try it out.

We started with a trusted ex boyfriend, a guy we both were still friends with.

She blew him and he fucked her, but it was only one night, so I figured that was it.

One night she went out with some friends without me and started flirting with a guy, and they ended up having sex. They dated for a month or two, and she joined a dating/cheating app

She ended up finding a firefighter and they dated for about 3-4 months. Then she found another guy, and they dated for about 9 months.

It was an amazing ride! So sexy! I have lots of stories that I can’t wait to share, I just joined, so I will definitely answer any questions and tell my story if anyone is interested!

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Theres nothing hotter than watching wife suck your friend