uncomfortable labia

Sex Tips & Talk
1

i apologise for my spelling in advance, im dyslexic

I really dont know where else to ask about these things but its a topic thats always bothered me.
the last time i looked at my lady parts was when i was 15 , i am 29 now.
i know my body and i notice change. i hate my vagina with a passion. i even cut myself down there once because it was so uncomfterble.


a few years back i went to the hospital and went to see a doctor about it.
now i have had 9 operations in the past, major ones.
so i was not here to mess around.
every time i went to the bathroom or even masterbated i would cry. i just felt so discusting.
my mother was upset hearing me crying every time i used the bathroom.
so going to the doctors, he was extremly rude to me.
saw me as , how do i put it.
mother wanted to bring me in because shes unhappy about my lady region. appariently and i have seen this myself, some mothers will take there child as young as 13 or 15 to a doctor that looks at your downstairs department, i forget the name.
anyway he saw me as one of those people.
he sayed, "well you seem normal down there but perhaps slighly a little over but nothing to worry about. now are you serious about this or not?"


i cant descrive the hole ordeal because it was horrible for me.
i went ahead with it anyway and had a little cut off.my doctors attitude changed when he saw my medical records and noticed i was not messing around.
well anyway i had it done and it was painful yes.
it haps improved quite a bit down there but its still big.
they wouldent cut it all off because i meen this is the nhs, you want a porn vagina then you gotta pay for it i guess.
the hole experiance was horrible and i even got an infection.


what upsets me too is the fact that i have never had a man in my life and this is the lenth i go to make myself feel more human again.


would i go under the knife again, yes i would actuly. and not only that but i struggle with the bowl department aswell so i also have some other unwanted little skin tags from my bum. i feel so unwanted and discusting its not even funny.


whenever i masterbad i cry every time afterwards, i know its stupid but this is just how i feel inside. i will never accept whats down there and no man would ever want me anyway.
i want to feel normal. i have got other problems enough as it is as im actuly partly disabled and get tired quickly from things.


i dont know i just dont know anymore.

2

Hi missdee 

Thank you for sharing this with us and I am so sorry to hear of your ordeal :(

Have you ever spoken to anyone about body dysmorphia?

This sounds a lot like this kind of condition. Maybe a counsellor over a GP would be a better angle for you. Especially after your last process with your doctor.  

I really hope you can speak to some members here to help with your circumstances. I am sure others will be able to offer more advice. ![heart|20x20](upload://4WyQT1gwKaQJNwhYxrKZ1rOPglF.gif "heart")

1 Like
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Huge hugs I sympathise I've hated my body for years and never will like it, today I've had to get rid of lingerie because I can no longer tug it to wear it. It's a pity you can't find a sympathetic counciler who can talk with you, sorry not very good at this, but you can't go on like this that doctor should have listened at least, .

4

Labia comes in all shapes and sizes. Just because you feel that it's larger than what is "normal" it doesn't mean that it's ugly. There are tons of people out there with "large" labia and that doesn't stop them from getting relationships and sexual experiences.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience regarding the surgery, the infection and the doctors attitude towards you. That sounds horrible. I honestly wouldn't recommend going under the knife again. Infections aren't worth it. I think talking to someone (a therapist?) would be the better option. It doesn't sound like there's any medical issues caused by the larger labia from what you've said, so I think working on your confidence and views of what is normal would be beneficial instead.

Regarding the skin tags, I don't think there's anything wrong with them. Are they causing pain or discomfort? If yes, seek treatment for them. I have had long standing hemerrhoids in the past and I felt absolutely disgusting during that time, but my partner made me realise that we all have medical issues that can be a little embarrassing but they're nothing to be ashamed of. Do treatment if necessary, but know that these things won't stop you from having an active sex life with the right person.

Why do you feel that no man would ever want you? There's someone out there for everybody and I truly believe that. Maybe you haven't met the right person yet or maybe the dip in confidence that you're experiencing is stopping you from seeing someone who's right in front of you? Either way, don't rule out the possibility of meeting someone because you are struggling with the way you look. I used to think the same way, but my person came along and yours will too!

5

Missdee, whilst I can't help with your main points in regards to your lady bits, I hope at least I can help with your initial comments in regards to spelling.

If your dyslexia, gets you down, please don't let it. This post makes perfect sense and is clear as chrystal in its delivery. Secondly, and this may help you in other areas of your social network writing, why not compile your message using a word processing program as they contain a spell checker. Not earth shattering advice I know, but if it helps you stay relaxed about your postings then at least this aspect of your life, you can venture forward with confidence.

You aren't totally new to these forums, so you'll know that the advice you seek will turn up eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later.

6

I have been to a museum of sex which had a display of plaster cast models of loads of male and female parts. It was fascinating to see how variable they are. There really is no such thing as normal.
Everyone has parts of their body which they are not confident about but it sounds like this is really getting you down.
People do not get together based on genitals (except on that annoying channel 4 program). Someone will love you for who you are. I hope you can get the help to see that from someone. Perhaps if it is difficult talking about it there may be advice online about body confidence.

7

Oh you poor love......my heart goes out to you.

It sounds as though you've been through a dreadful ordeal which has caused you so much pain and discomfort and hasn't really helped you much. I've no idea what 'normal' is. Everyone is different and trust me most women, including me, do not have a 'porn' vagina. Everyone has parts of their body they don't like..... I hate my flabby, baby belly. I know it's incredibly difficult but try to focus more on the parts of yourself you do like. Not necessarily sexual parts......but other parts, your hair, eyes, feet....and smile. Everyone has a lovely smile and smiling makes you feel so much better in general.

I agree that a therapist may be more appropriate than a GP. It sounds as though the fact that you dislike your lady parts has damaged your confidence about everything else. I share Nats belief that there is someone out there for everyone...... someone who will love you for you.....not for what's between your legs. Skin tags are easily treated if they bother you.

To be honest unless anything is causing you physical pain I think I would leave well alone. Men don't fall in love with 'perfect' women......simple!y because there is no such thing !

Please get yourself some therapy. It does help. I've had therapy for a sexual assault when I was younger and I'm surprised just how much it helped and made me feel so much better.

*Hugs* xx

1 Like
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Welcome Missdee, firstly do not worry about your dyslexia . I suffer badly too and no one herein my 4 years of participation has ever raised it other than a humorous miss use of a word lol.

Secondly and far more important I cannot begin to explain how understanding as a group we are. Any aspect of sex , sexuality, body confidence or sexual psychology can and is descussed openly , caringly but most emportantly non judgementally. People who do not soon leave this amazing forum.

Your very upsetting situation and discription is very humbling. I'm so sorry that you have had to endure such an awful experience. Its my hope through time , discussion and support we can begin to help in some small way to help you find some comfort and pleasure from your body .

Masterbation is normal and healthy . the absolute vast majority of human being's masterbate for pleasure and relief.

I'd li!e if I may ask a few questions about your labiaplasty ( lip reduction ).

For me but I'm a man, your case is the only reason I'd encourage labiaplasty.

Purely for cosmetic reasons I don't like or feel it is right to do. Most are a psychological hang over from upbringing. Its very sad but true that a nieve perant or peers comment about genitailia can have a life long impact particularly for women.

Modern media, porn and fashion vogues put women under massive pressure to look a certain way.unfortunately naive young men and judgmental young women can be very cruel without actually knowing or understanding the life changing impact they can have on a young woman.

I'm going to post a link to an amazing bit of art work I'd like you to look at. Its about 400 women who allowed their vulvas to be cast in clay to show the wonderful variety of women's vaginas. To me every single one is beautiful and of great desirable attraction.

http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/great-wall-vagina-panels

I have posted this a few times here before and it has help women like yourself.

I will endeavour to find a thread I initiated a few years ago for you to read through.

Kind regards and a big GG hug.

9

https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/773020-labiaplasty-or-pussy-lip-reduction/

Here is the link I promised.

I very much look forward to your comments.

10

I can't offer any more advice which hasn't been given already.
I feel for you.
But I do send you Huge hugs. X