So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about four years now and it's fantastic except we've got rather disparate sex drives. We're both young (in our mid to late 20's), healthy, active and fit so there is no medical issue at play it's just varied interest level.
As the more sexually inclined partner, I feel like I'm at an impasse because if I try to discuss this he feels pressured and shuts down and if I don't initiate at all then he thinks I'm uninterested. I've assured him this is not the case and have tried to encourage him with sensual, but not necessarily sexual activities (massages, date nights with only silly finger foods and a rule that you can't feed yourself), things I know he likes (thigh highs or lingerie) and discrete signal systems (wearing a special scarf or pair of earrings to let him know that 'hey I'm game if you're game, but no pressure!'). Some of these ideas have worked occasionally but generally haven't been raging successes.
I've let the issue lie for a few months now and I try to respect this difference between us, as I think it's important that both partners want to have sex and don't consent out of a misplaced sense of obligation. However, as things have cooled down to a once every 4-6 week frequency I'm practically losing my mind. After racking my brain for non-threatening/ non-pressure inducing ways to encourage intimacy I stumbled upon the idea of sex games.
We both enjoy board games and the occasional card game, so I think sex games might be a good match for us. Plus, if I'm careful and pick the right one that has a bit more of a slow build it might even help to get him in the mood? I don't know. I'm game to try pretty much anything, but don't want to turn him off further by being too pushy.
I'd love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation or anyone who has tried sex games in the past. Do you think this could be a good idea? If you have a lower sex drive than your partner do you think the right game could be fun or just another token of pressure? If so, would you recommend anything else? If you think games sound like a good idea, is there one or two in particular that you recommend? I was looking at a good variety including Nookie, Lovehoney frisky fun dice and the little black box of sex as all of these options have a diversity of intensity levels and good replayability (from what I can glean from reviews), but am open to any/all suggestions!
Thank you in advance for your advice!