Vaginal tear

Hi all,

I was just after a bit of advice please.
*edit I am 32.

Sometimes (more often than not) when i have intercourse or foreplay i end up with a tear at the bottom of my vagina which stings really bad and ends up with me having to stop this can occur from even a finger but usually from my husbands penis being inserted even when very wet.

I never had this problem before i had my 2nd child which when giving birth i had a major tear and required stitches.

It just gets me down sometimes as i can be enjoying whats going on and then ruined by getting a tear.

I appreciate any advice/tips you good people have.



I’ve no advice on this, this sounds awful I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m hoping someone can relate but I’d really suggest you speak to a Dr or gynaecologist about this.


You didn’t say your age, but it could be signs of early menopause, so you may want to see your doctor or pharmacist about your symptoms. I have seen on tv recently there are non prescription creams for such conditions. Hope this helps.

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I certainly feel for you as you are unable to enjoy things. I think you must go and see your doctor to see what can be done to assist you. Good luck.

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Just edited the post i forgot that bit I am 32.


How long has it been since the birth of your child? Sometimes things can take a while to heal up fully- I struggled for about a year after my first and 2 after my 2nd. I asked midwife, GP and Health Visitor and they all made it seem like I was being silly until I saw a gynaecologist (for an unrelated problem) who diagnosed an infection and, with a simple antibiotic cream and a short period of abstinence, I was back to “normal” within a few weeks.

I’d definitely recommend seeing a doctor and push for a referral to gynae if you have no luck. Unfortunately any “women’s problem” seems to be a fight for a diagnosis/cure (in my experience anyway) but there will be someone out there who can help you, you just need to find the right person so don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion/ push for more specialist advice


It has been 6 years and thats reassuring thank you as i have been putting it done to something I/we have been doing differently as I find different positions can sometimes be more painful and likely to tear.

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My wife used to tear regularly, but that was pre kids, birthing (despite very large tear or episiotomy) wasn’t kind on her but the overall vagina stretch seems to have prevented further tearing.

Do you always tear in the same place?

I would recommend getting an appointment with a gynecologist who might be able to offer more insight than we can.

Otherwise, using excellent lubes, from the start, sounds like thw only advice i can offer.

I’d say your body probably isn’t making enough of its own lube, so you may want to help it out and add some.

I’m tiny and tight…being intersex made PIV sex difficult, especially at the beginning. But I’m ridiculously sloppy wet, so nothing tears. One of my partners, however, is getting older and she got a tear from being too dry… in spite of not being very tight after having given birth 4 times.

Sounds like the scar tissue from where you had stitches has made the skin there very fragile which can occur in some unlucky cases. Not sure what the best thing to advise would be but maybe do some research online and perhaps look into gradual stretching of that area so it builds some strength up again… or alternatively ask your doctor for some advice :nerd_face:

Personally I find kegel balls really help to get my lubrication going. I typically only use them for 10 minutes and I start to feel the moistening process getting started. I also agree with the gynecologist route.

I used to have a small tear in the same place. Not nice and makes sex unpleasant. The only thing I found that fixed it was wearing kegel balls to stop the two sores healing together and heal within themselves instead.