Want to surprise my girlfriend with something, some wand perhaps?

I have quite a bunch of toys for myself: Leather restraints; anal toys like dildos and plugs; a strap-on harness; bit trainer gag. I do not have any toys that are any direct fun for my girlfriend.

So I thought it would be nice to have something for her, perhaps something vibrating that gives her pleasure. I don't want to buy a dildo or dildo-vibrator because that seems like a replacement for sex, than something which can be added to make roleplay or sex more fun and diverse.

The thing which came to my mind is a magic wand. It would also be a nice massage toy (she loves being massaged), does not look like a phallus, and can be used together to make sex even more intense.

I think I had asked her a long time ago if she was interested in getting a magic wand, but I think there was not much interest. She said that she was pretty satisfied the way we have sex. So I don't have the feeling that she is really missing something, however I feel a bit selfish for having so many toys for myself but none for her.

What do you think? Should I just get some magic wand and introduce that in the context of a massage? Perhaps she actually likes the deep vibration on the neck and back, and then she might want to try it elsewhere?

I know that she is very sensitive on the clitoris, so a wand is probably something she is going to enjoy way more than a dildo-vibrator. I am just not sure whether she would somehow see it negatively that I get some toy for her this time.

What are the things that I should look at when buying a wand? I think having a plug-in version is nice because the batteries on our vibrating bullet for the strap-on died rather quickly. Then having a lot of power settings are probably nice to start slow. Is there something else?

Hi I like the thought of this. I have the doxy diespcase wand and it is super powerful and very quiet. (Sorry I have not written my review yet.) but if she is ver sensative clitorally it might just be too powerful.

Im going to be completely honest now and it will go agains everything you have read before, but I like this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35187 a lot more than my doxy wand. The dual motors make for satisfying play be it clitoral or internal.

The doxy die cast wand is very good but I prefer patterned vibration.

My suggestion would be to blindfold her and introduce the new toy while she can feel what it does without seeing it. Please be aware that the doxy die art doesn't turn on at he lowest setting, worth knowing if you want to be in control of her pleasure. Let us know what you decide.

Hi there, I think a magic wand would be a great gift, especially as she likes massage too. The Doxy is very powerful, and quite heavy, so for a first wand I would recommend the magic wand.  It's very versatile, great for body massage, and you can also buy attachments for it in the future - including a male one:


Another option would be the Nea 2 which I rate very highly. It is a fantastic clit vibe, but can also be used together during sex as the shape is petite and doesn't get I the way. It is also very quiet and very powerful for its size - I have a review written on this one:


I think if you make it special, perhaps gift wrap it with a note telling her how much it excites you to think of her using your gift - she will really appreciate and hopefully love it, and find it  a turn on too. I think it is lovely that you want to spoil your girlfriend this way xx

If you asked her and there wasn't much interest, then I personally wouldn't get it for her. If she's not interested, she might feel pressured to use it to make you happy. If toys aren't something she wants right now, she probably doesn't feel left out about not owning one and doesn't feel like you're being selfish. Her consent is important and I think sex toys are something the person should actively want to use.

I would mention it again and see if her thoughts have changed, then I'd start with something less powerful if she agrees. If she's very sensitive with her clitoris and hasn't used a vibrator before, a mains powered wand might be too strong for her. I know a plug-in wand would definitely have been too much for me as a first toy and I probably would have found it painful. There are some great rechargeable ones that can be used on the back and neck also, but aren't quite as intense.

I agree with NatandTom, but I also think that she might not be interested because she doesn't really use toys and is happy with what she's getting so far, so it doesn't seem like something she'd bother trying?

You mentioned a vibrating bullet - is that for her? If it is, does she want to use it or does she prefer to do without? That might give you some idea of what she thinks about using toys on her. Some people just might not really like toys, and it might be the more generous thing if she doesn't. You could get her something else instead! Like massaging oils or lovely lingerie

I would also have to agree with nat and tom that to buy her a wand as a surprise would be a lovely act to do for your girlfriend if she has stated In the past that she doesn't wish to have one that I feel it would be a mistake. Do you both go on lovehoney together when buying items for yourself. Next time your on the site have a look at the female toys and she if anything catches her eye.

If your truly want to surprise your girlfriend then lingerie would be a good choice or like captainmeow said there is some lovehoney massage oil. It comes in strawberry,vanilla and cherry.


Thank you for all your replies!

The vibrating bullet was part of a strap-on harness that I have bought for pegging. It gave her some mild sensation but nothing serious, if I recall correctly. For me, it gave the dildo a bit of vibration but as it was such low-powered, it was more tickling than actual arousing sensation. While browsing I have showed her a double/triple dildo slip but she has no interest in those, the penetration alone does not give her much, she says. Using a magic wand between her and the strap-on might make a difference and will actually give some pleasure to her during that type of play.

We already have massage oils, one with roses and another one with calendula. She really likes the latter one. Since both bottles are still half-full, I think we are still good there.

With lingerie I have asked her for her bra size but she told me that it does not make much sense to buy a bra without trying it on. At some point I displaced a strap of one of her bras, therefore I wanted to get a new one while I was in the city. Perhaps for a sexy lingerie set it is not that important that it fits perfectly?

I have stumbled over the Doxy models already on the German Beate Uhse site, they look good. I am from Germany and have to get an EU plug one; the German Lovehoney site does not have a community. The portfolio of Lovehoney UK and Germany seems to be pretty identical, so that is not really a problem. There are cheaper models from like 25 EUR, but I think that this is just a waste of money. They will not be strong enough for a massage and probably break rather fast.

My girlfriend has not owned any toys and never watched a porn movie. So I just think that although she is quite open to experiments and roleplay with me, she has not spend time browsing through adult toy stores and got her interest sparked. She does not want to use the other toys when we have sex together, she likes to separate sex and roleplay things. There have been occasions where I was tied to the bed and the sat on my face while I licked her. This is great fun for me and a lot of pleasure for her, it is just very tiresome for her to stay in that position.

When we have sex, usually I lick her during foreplay to get her wet, after that she takes a little bit longer for the second orgasm. I do not last that long, so we sometimes manage one more orgasm before we come together in a third one for her. In the last time I have either put my hand on her when I was behind her, or she put her hand on herself when I was in front of her. This is the situation where I think a magic wand (or similar) could add some extra fun for her, even though she never seems unsatisfied.

When we talked about toys for her, she said that I am good enough with my tongue, she also does not seem to have have an orgasm frequently, the cuddling and romantic massages seem to be a bit more important.

From your responses I see that your opinion is just as split as mine: I'd like to spoil her with a toy that might give her more pleasure than she thought, but I also don't want to pressure her in using yet another toy in the bedroom.

Maybe browse these sites with her? Or ask her what she would think if you introduced more vibrating toys to the bedroom? While making it clear to her that she is under no obligation to use them if she prefers not to :) It does sound like she's open to experimentation and that you have a very good relationship, so it might be easier than you think to gauge. I was going to suggest smaller vibrators like the We-Vibe Tango, but I can see that a wand massager might serve a dual purpose. If you could introduce it to her without putting any pressure on her to keep using the toy, perhaps that would be ok? As long as she could say "nope, back in the box", I tend to think that's fine, but you know your girlfriend best! :)

And yes, bras need to fit well, but you can buy lingerie that aren't bras such as slip ons or chemises - all you need is her dress size for those kinds.

So on Saturday she had the cat purring on her back. I asked her whether the cat is a good massager. She quickly caught that I was probing whether she was up for a Magic Wand. I did not make it more concrete than that.

Today I got the Doxy Die Cast because it got pretty good reviews, has three buttons (instead of using one for everything by different pressing patterns) and is pricey enough to be a solid product: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36367

She slept on the couch when I came home. I unpacked it and put it under the couch before I massaged her awake. I asked whether she was up for a little neck massage and I tried it out with her. At the beginning I did not get much feedback (she was tired) but then she asked me to do her back, her bum, her feet, her thighs and then her back again. I'd say it is quite a success!

Thank you for the suggestion of the products, the Doxy Die Cast feels very well made and I hope it will last quite a bit.

Perhaps it will find its way between her legs, I am very curious to see how hard she cums with the vibrations. ![](upload://kym5tZ5EfyJxs6TKHB1Q2HtGSpK.gif)

Glad to hear she likes it! Fingers crossed for the both of you! :)

By now we have used it a couple time on her, she comes pretty hard from it. It is really nice to feel her melt while I gently move the head of the device over her sensitive parts during foreplay. We have also used it to get her to the right arousal level before I came such that we could come together.

Then I have also tried it on myself with a plug, also very interesting!