Weird question... What bra is best?

Off-Topic Chat
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Sorry for the randomness of this question but where else can I find a range of helpful people who might be able to enlighten me?

Does anyone know what kind of bra is best, I mean from a medical / physical point of view rather than aesthetically? I mean, how much support do boobs actually need and how do I know if my bras are offering the right support? Do I need a bra that separates the breasts or is a crop top style where they’re both pushed together ok? Does a lack of support actually damage the breast tissue in anyway or is it mainly due to personal comfort? How much movement is too much movement?

I’m a 34D or DD depending on the style, so average size I think. I usually wear wired, lightly padded bras but I’ve got really delicate skin and I’ve noticed some permanent marks on my skin where my bra rubs so I’m trying to wear softer, less structured bras but now I’m getting some boob ache so I think the new ones are not good enough.

I honestly don’t know where to ask! I can’t ask my GP for bra advice! But equally, Google only gives advice about styles that look best and the information is contradictory in places. There’s no point asking in a bra shop because they just tell you what they want you to hear so you buy their bras! Any ideas? What are your preferences?

(No product suggestions please because these would break the rules, I’m just looking for general advice)

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After some heated disagreements about bust size where I said my partners bust was larger than she thought, I invited her to go to a specialist bra and lingerie shop to be measured and to find some nice underwear so she didn’t fine her day today wearing uncomfortable like it was.

I was rewarded later with a fashion show and gratitude when she found she needed a bra smaller but with bigger cups.

The object being I would suggest you find a specialist shop and go and get measured. And good luck @Kitty-Cat01 also nothing weird about your question, there will be others who have issues too. I believe @KinkyMira has hers made especially for her, she has mentioned it in the forum before (memory don’t fail me)

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As unhelpful as this answer is, it all comes down to personal choice.

There isn’t a required support level specifically, but the more active you are, the more support you are going to want. For general every day though, it is up to you. There is no conclusive evidence that low support or high support cause any damage to breast tissue.

If you are finding your bras are leaving marks on you, I would definitely go and get measured as it sounds like you might not be wearing the right size. Whilst getting measured is the better option, if you would rather not, you could try a sister size in your bra. So for a 34D it would be a 36C and for a 34DD it would be a 36D. You can be slightly different sizes in different styles so trying on some different styles is a good idea too.

How pushed together they are is, again, a personal choice rather than a health one. I’d say if they are pushed together, they need to be held in a way that doesn’t allow them to move too much and rub, but that will depend on how active you are being and, potentially, the shape of your boobs.

In terms on non wired bras, it sounds like you do need a bit more support. There are companies out there that are making non wired bras that aren’t sports bras but still give a good amount of support.

Medically, the best type of bra is the one that fits you the best

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@Kitty-Cat01 - it’s personal choice but as you are larger busted you will find most have wires to provide support

You can get ones without wires but they will not give good support and you will find they will loose shape and end up in the bin

I enjoy balcony style- but you need to try to see what works best

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Thanks! That makes me feel a little less silly for not already knowing this.

I think you’re right about @KinkyMira. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I remember reading about custom made bras too. That would be amazing! Not sure I’d have the confidence (or the money) for that though!

Thanks @Calie Your answer is very helpful and thank you for answering all my questions. :smiling_face:

I’ve been fitted several times so I know I’m wearing the right size. Without going into too much medical details, I have skin that is very easily damaged in areas where there is a lot of friction, particularly around where my bra sits. There’s nothing actually wrong with it, it’s just ugly in my opinion and I’m a bit self conscious of it. I was thinking that switching to a softer, less structured bra might reduce the damage or at least slow it down but then I seem to have the problem of less support. I guess it will be about finding a compromise.

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Tops with a in sowed bra? @Kitty-Cat01 I’m widely outside my knowledge and hope you find something that works for you

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I don’t think there’s a one size fits all answer.
It depends not only on the size of your breasts, but also what you’re doing. A sports bra designed for yoga isn’t going to be suitable for running as it won’t provide enough support and your breasts will bounce around too much.
Ultimately, the best bra is one that’s the right size and feels comfortable all day.

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You might be out of your area of expertise but to be fair, I haven’t tried one of those!

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A good pair hands lol

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Hi @Kitty-Cat01,

Get some popcorn, this may take a while :laughing:

There isn’t one. There is probably one for your body though. You just need to find it. Not easy or cheap.

Very little actually. Remember, women didn’t wear bras until the mid to late Victorian era. Same with panties or other underwear. Those Victorians have a lot to answer for.

I’m topless most of the time these days, and when I do wear clothes, I often go without a bra. What I’ve found, after feeling like I have to wear a bra for nearly 30 years, is that I don’t. Even with 34Hs, they are fine. They jiggle, they bounce around, but it isn’t a problem. I have a sports bra for physical stuff, but I don’t do much of that because of my shite body. The first couple of weeks I started not wearing a bra, they ached a bit, but now they are used to it, I don’t feel like its an issue at all (or I don’t notice any more).

It’s all down to how it feels for you.

Again, it is up to you. Neither is better or worse as a rule.

There is no evidence that a lack of support damages breast tissue (it has been widely debunked I think), and indeed, there is a suggestion that wearing a bra means they don’t have the natural strengthening that being braless gives, so in fact, wearing a bra may make it worse.

All depends on you really. There is no right answer here. Turns out I do love the movement, so for me, movement is a good thing.

How long have you been wearing them for? If it is literally a few days, perhaps keep going for a few weeks. If you are already at a few weeks, it sounds like the bras are not the right ones.

Now, I do have some custom bras. They were pricey (and I mean pricey). They are quarter cup bras, which the mainstream manufacturers don’t make. A feat of structural engineering, and they are super comfy, so that may be the way to go. I think your issue though is that you don’t know what will work for you and not injure you.

Good luck with your quest. Finding the right bra does seem like a quest (thus the custom ones). Personally, not wearing them often is the best thing I’ve done. Not sure it would work for you though.

Mira xx

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I hate bras and I still haven’t found one I really feel comfortable wearing. I don’t experience pain when I have no bra on so I just don’t wear them most of the time. If I have to wear one I have found sports bras that are seamless are the most comfortable. I can’t stand underwire or lace.

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It all boils down to what feels the most comfortable bra for you.
Underwired ones do give great support and shape but they can feel restrictive and uncomfortable even in the correct size.

My go to bras now are those non wired stretch crop top style. I do still wear my underwires to go out in because my massive boobs would draw unwanted attention in anything more relaxed but the first thing I do when I come home is take that underwired bra off. I was a bit worried at first that not wearing wires would cause the breast tissue and ligaments to stretch but honestly it hasn’t made any difference to the shape of my breasts.

Personally I’ve got to that stage in life where I value my comfort, which is why I’m also a fan of big knickers! :laughing:
I would suggest trying some non wired but supportive styles. A lot of them get good reviews and they’re quite pretty too. I’m seriously considering this type for my future bra purchases.

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You know, the best place to go for this is a proper bra shop that offers fittings as they’ll get you measured up and be able to help advise on what will best support you or if there’s any preferences you have :nerd_face:

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Thanks Mira! That is what I’m going to call a very comprehensive reply! There seems to be so many myths and opinions on what bras women should and shouldn’t wear but no one ever really talks about why or what the evidence is for those opinions. There does seem to be this idea that not wearing a bra with enough support will damage the breast tissue or cause sagging but it’s probably not true. There are women in plenty of other cultures who don’t wear bras at all.

It’s been about 1 - 2 weeks. I’ve gone back to my wired ones for now but I’ll probably give them another go.

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Thanks @wildflower :+1: Comfort is the most important thing. I used to wear push up bras everyday because I thought my proportions weren’t right, my boobs were too small compared to my bum but I’ve tried to accept my shape so I rarely wear them now. Moving away from wired bras is feeling similar.

I am also a fan of big knickers! So much more comfortable for everyday wear.

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All I can say @Kitty-Cat01 is that life’s too short for uncomfy undies! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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I do find sports bras make my bust look like a sausage roll it just doesn’t help at all and also doesn’t hold them up very well but they are a large H cup.

For shape and support I wear underwired balcony bras unfortunately Lovehoney doesn’t sell bras in my size so I have to buy from elsewhere. My bras and bikinis are the most expensive clothing items I have.

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I think if your skin is sensitive and the bra is leaving marks on the skin you could try wearing a vest or cami top under your bra, see if this helps. Also maybe try going up a band width size. Whenever I’m professionally measured they seem to want me in a size 34 but actually a size 36 is more comfortable.

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