What are the odds?

Enormous odds here, not even zeros in the world for my chances.... That's another single one to add to the list... and as am knackered and fed up, no masturbating here either.... in fact, I said on Pancake Day may as well give it up for Lent....

No chance for me im afraid, inlaws are staying over so will be a few days before i have a hope. Think ill be reduced to a quick wank in the loo at work lol